I pit you, customers that think money fraud is funny.

[dmatsch]

@Harborwolf

Sounds like somebody has a case of the Mondays.

What’s really scary is that they’ve got it on a Thursday.

You just might get your ass kicked for saying something like that around here.

Seriously, the OP needs to realize what line of work he’s in. If this gets him/her then what’s going to happen when something REALLY annoying happens? Is the OP going to go homicidal?

I agree with the posters who say to mess with the customer. It’s something I would do. I know, I was in retail sales for 8 years.

[dmatsch]

@DrDeth

Rule 1. The Customer is always right. Well, maybe not always, but since without customers you wouldn’t even have this job, as far as cracking a old joke- then yes, they are right.

Rule 2. If you don’t think Rule #1 is valid, you have the wrong job. Quit now before you become bitter and humorless… oops, too late.

Rule 3. If this was a list, there’d be a Rule 3.

Rule 4. Hi, Opal!

someone HAD to do it, you know.

[Spoons]

I dunno…I always kind of liked it when people would joke about “I just printed it this morning.” Or made some other joke. Even though they were pretty stale, they made my day a little brighter.

See, I once worked as a casino change cashier. Lots of cash and the attendant responsibility–on any given day, my co-workers and I would be handling tens of thousands of dollars each, all in cash. There wasn’t a joke about money we hadn’t heard many times from many people. But each time I heard yet another version of “I just printed it this morning,” I’d just come back with one of many snappy lines I used in the situation. Let’s see if I can remember a few:

• Next time let the ink dry. Geez, look at my hands!
• Oh, so you’re the counterfeiter they told us about at the staff meeting.
• You did indeed. Even got a watermark. Which says, “20-lb. xerographic bond.”
• Remember, for your next batch, the governor of the Bank of Canada is not “Wayne Gretzky.”
• Aw, too bad. See, it’s two-for-one day on real bills. I can only give you one-for-one on this.

They weren’t expecting a comeback. But usually, I got them to smile.

[gigi]

@Miller

Remember, coronation is not the same as casualty.

But a coronary could be a casualty.

[MacTech]

@Surbey

Very much so. Some people print their own, thus the ink will show if its fake. Others will was out a 5 dollar bill and put a 100 on it. Thus the water mark. No matter how well you wash out a 5 dollar bill, Abe Lincoln’s picture just won’t go away.
well, if we are just gonna resort to name calling ,askeptic, then you’re a poop head.

Additionally, on the “new style” US paper currency, denominations of $5 and above have a plastic security fiber running through the bill with the amount of the bill printed on it…

this strip will flouresce under UV illumination as well…

[PunditLisa]

To the OPer: Did they mention in the job interview that you’d be, you know, interacting with people? IANAC, but I think I could have foreseen the whole “small talk” thing.

[Surbey]

@PunditLisa

To the OPer: Did they mention in the job interview that you’d be, you know, interacting with people? IANAC, but I think I could have foreseen the whole “small talk” thing.

I’m not against small talk. Like I said in an earlier post, I have no problem talking to people. I’m actually pretty kick ass at customer service. I always get highmarks on my customer service abilities. I’m quite the oddity when it comes to this. I absolutely hate dealing with these people, but unless they really piss me off, they would never know it.

[Pammipoo]

@levdrakon

Back in the States, I was mildly insulted when people first started doing it. Making the joke was a way of laughing off what was a somewhat uncomfortable situation. It was better than saying “hey jackass, do I look like a fucking counterfeiter?!? How dare you!”

Even if you yourself didn’t print it, who’s to say that a less observant cashier didnt pass you a bad bill in change? Or that you didnt randomly find a $50 on the road outside your car door, and decide to blow it? The thing about money is it’s always circulating…there’s a lot of room for human error. If a store gets caught with a bad bill, they lose out, even if it was an honest mistake it was passed to them.

And that joke isn’t really funny. Not one of my top ten things to piss me off, but just one of those things that stopped amusing me a long time ago.

[Ms2001]

@MacTech

this strip will flouresce under UV illumination as well…

Different colors (and locations) for different denominations, too. Oh, the things you can learn from the counterfeit bill detector at Krispy Kreme.

[Sleel]

You could always pretend to take them seriously, glare at them, and inform them that counterfeiting money is a Federal crime. Getting on the phone and dialing the Secret Service is optional. I can see loads of hilarity ensuing from that tactic.

[Jurph]

@amarinth

I had never had that test done until I spent a longish weekend near Disneyworld. (Apparently people feel they don’t have to use real money at the happiest place on earth or something).

Disney has a lot of international visitors, especially from Asia, and North Korea has been printing U.S. currency for years. U.S. currency is no good inside DPRK, so it’s being spent by Korean “diplomatic”* staff abroad, or deposited into Pacific Rim banks in bulk (and then withdrawn as digits). The actual cash gets circulated around the region in a flash and POW. Every Asian tourist with a stack of $100 bills is carrying at least one North Korean fake.

Next time you’re at the register and they check your cash, you can say “It’s good - Kim Jong Il printed it last week.”

• • North Korea’s government issues diplomatic credentials to pretty much anyone travelling abroad from North Korea, despite the fact that the country is incapable of diplomacy.