Here’s to you, XLERATOR Model XL-W hand dryer. You dry my hands in 15 seconds or less, freeing me of the wasteful process of time and energy expended in drying my hands manually or using other longer-to-dry hand dryers. Yes, you use 80% less energy than other wasteful hand dryers, and save paper and resources over traditional paper towels.
If that is not enough, your 90 decibel rating is loud enough to be heard down the hall, around the corner, and through closed doors. Thank you for drowning out the sound of male students generating mucus with your jet engine-like deafening roar. Your mere presence insures that not all men leave the bathroom with dirty hands when everyone else can “hear” that they did not wash up.
And thank you for causing my skin to ripple with your significant strength of 14,000 linear feet per minute provided by a 5 horsepower motor generating 20,000 RPM (.DOC file). If you don’t believe me, consider this anonymous individual who says it blows the skin of your (^))%$$ hands. Although I am only in my 40’s and retain some elasticity in my skin, it is helpful to see what the impending effects of old age will be when I am reduced to tissue paper in a brisk breeze.
You are the best. Paper cuts that I never noticed before are now clearly and painfully identified. Water that used to remain on my hands until being manually wiped with a towel is now being propelled to my wrists in a paperless environment.
As a Southerner, I think I recognize most of what he said as (very) faint praise. It’s sort of like, “It was nearly as good as the potato salad!” after someone asks how you liked their “special meatloaf”.
My only complaint is that Nebraska, in terms of technology, is behind even South Dakota!
There are lots of these wonderful devices up North, while we down here cope with the old “hold the hands under the tepid,weak stream till the timer quits and then wipe your still-wet hands on your pants” method of electric drying.
I used to hate hand dryers and if an establishment didn’t offer paper towels, I would avoid spending any money there. Then I ran into one of these at the movie theatre. It only takes a little bit longer to dry my hands and I can watch the forced air move around the skin on the back of my hand. I;m gonna put one in my downstairs bathroom and impress all my friends
Is it like the dryers they have at Starbucks that blow cold air, guaranteeing your hands will never dry, and then they don’t have any paper towels at all, so you have to try and dry your hands on toilet paper after all?
I hate that.
The BuildingGreen website cited in the OP is nonsense. The say that two paper towels have an energy use of 750 kJ, or 0.21 kilowatt hours. Here is what a case of bleached C-fold towels cost, 24.98 for 2400 towels. Based on BuildingGreen.com the energy cost alone for these towels would be $20.16. This doesn’t include the cost of the wood, the water used to produce the paper, the chemicals used to cook and bleach the pulp, the profits for the paper company and the distributors, the capital cost of the equipment, or the cost of the labor. The numbers don’t add up.
Is there anyone who realistically believes that there is $20 worth of energy in a case of paper towels? If that was the case I assure you that paper companies would be selling electricity instead of paper.
That must be the one I encountered in a restaurant bathroom not long ago. Flesh radiated from the center of my palms in waves as I struggled to keep my balance. It was like a wind tunnel, or one of those centrifuges astronauts use for G-force training. When I got back to the table I tried to tell everyone I’d just experienced the most intense hand dryer in the history of mankind, but no one seemed interested. Philistines.
"It looks like an ordinary hand dryer, but you press the button and the machine BLOWS THE FUCKING SKIN OFF YOUR HAND. It’s like a small Midwestern tornado shooting out of a three-inch hole, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see a roofing shingle or a stray cow come flying out of the nozzle. It is a life-changing experience.
Because you know what? The thing actually works. It actually dries your hands. Of course, they’re no longer attached to your body, but hey."
Excellent. I want to see a cow come flying out of the nozzle of a hand dryer!
Perhaps my OP of combined praise and sarcastic pitting missed the mark. The bathroom walls and solid wood door to my office are unable to deafen the roar of this device that puts out 85-90 decibels, and it is about 20-25 feet from my headand I hear it ALL day long. I am now working near the airport runway Class lectures are actually interrupted by the noise from down the hall.
Yes, it saves energy, but it is too damned loud and powerful. Total overkill.
Wait 'till you try the Dyson Airblade. Yowza. Fell in love with this little puppy a couple of weeks ago at an hotel in London. And it’s pretty, too, in a functional industrial design hand-drier-ish way.
My son’s pediatrician just installed these hand dryers - what on earth were they thinking??
Children cannot use them - the sound and air are just too intense!
I hear children crying every time they go in the bathroom, and unsuspecting parents have them use the dryer. My son refuses to use their bathrooms for just this reason.
(on the plus side, I do like seeing my skin ripple when I use them!)
