Mrs. HeyHomie and I found out we can’t have kids. Shortly after that we found out that we’re OK with it!
Apparently, this bothers lots of people to no end.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody said something along the lines of “There’s always adoption,” I’d have all those nickels.
We don’t want to adopt! Adoption takes years and costs thousands of dollars!
We, however, go to Disneyworld every year, and we have free time, and yada yada yada. We don’t sit around in misery mourning the children we don’t have. Sheesh.
This isn’t directly related to the non-kidlet theme of the thread; however, I do work with one of the nosiest people on the planet. Think “Major Frank Burns” without the charm.
Anyway, when ferretface tries to pry into what I’m doing (at work, at home, whatever), I look at him and say brightly, “What an interesting question! Tell me, why do you ask?”
Or, when asked something like “what are you doing?”, there’s the more pointed response, “Minding my own business. What are you doing?” Gets 'em every time.
As a 40-something single man with no interest in spawning (just a fascination with the process, you might say), I get any kiddie fix that I do require from being the cool fake uncle who lets the kids play in the WW2 jeep or go up to the top of the lighthouse. I don’t have to deal with the "won’t eat vegetables/homework/backtalk/wants a nosering end of things. And it’s fun buying books & toys that I like for them! Being a parent isn’t for me, but so far honorary uncledom rules!
It could have been me. There was no way I was going to have children unless the circumstances - as I saw them - were right. As it happened, I ended up having one. I still get hassled for deciding to stop there, [URL=http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=314525]and started this thread about it.
It continues to piss me off, on behalf of the people who have made responsible decisions not to have children, for all the reasons above, as well as all those women who due to whatever circumstances have not been able to have a child.
I know at least three women in this situation: got into a stable relationship in her 20s only to be told several years down the line by her partner that he had decided he didn’t want children. Fair enough, but where does that put her? Either end the relationship and take her chances on meeting someone soon enough to decide he was a person she wanted to have children with, or continue in the relationship with the existing boyfriend?
If she ends up not having children, is she selfish?
What about the 30-something woman who just hasn’t met the right man? Is she selfish?
(I’m not saying it’s wrong to choose single parenthood, just that it’s not an option for everyone.)
I was wondering what happened. I remember you having a “so about adoption” thread a while back.
BTW, you have made a perfectly fine choice. One we also considered when we made our adoption decision (we decided having kids outweighed the free time and money, but THAT WAS OUR DECISION and I wouldn’t presume to make it for anyone else).