I post a benign comment, you fake offense to it and then post your own.

Thread Games
1

Inspired by a video I saw where some millennials were offended by just about everything they said to each other while on a date.

The game is simple.

I’ll post the first benign, purposely unoffensive comment and you make up some reason to be offended by that comment. Hyperbole and sarcasm a necessity.
(Be sure to quote the comment in your response.)

Then post your own benign comment, etc.

Example:
I drove the speed limit all the way to work today.

Next Poster:

Thanks a lot F***er, I was the guy stuck behind you while everyone else in the left lane was going 20 over! Couldn’t pass you, was late for work. Again.
First comment;

Can’t wait for spring to get here, it’s been so cold lately.

2

Yeah, right. When the warm weather gets here, I have to dig out my warm weather clothes and replace anything that doesn’t fit anymore. And winter clothes add bulk. so people think that extra weight is clothes, not you. Now I have to diet AND get new clothes.

This cup of coffee really hits the spot.

3

Great just what the world needs - another freak probably extolling the virtues ofcat poop coffee!

I just found a $100 bill! I should rush down to the gospel mission and donate it to some needy soul.

4

Where they will probably spend it on hookers and blow.

I just won two tickets for Broadway’s Frozen!

5

The producer of Frozen! raped my grandmother, I’ll have you know. Twice.
So, my lunch was especially good today.

6

Do you have any idea what the carbon footprint of a Broadway show is?
I heard it was the equivalent of 63 Jumbo 747’s flying to the moon and back.

I’m looking out the office window and it’s actually snowing out.

7

So you are one of those climate-change denialists? Don’t you read?

I am looking forward to the weekend.

Regards,
Shodan

8

nm

9

How horrendous! Don’t you know that victims of sex trafficking never have weekends to enjoy?

I made a Caesar salad and it was delicious.

10

“Regards”? Is that some kind of passive-aggressive bullshit signoff or what?

I am trying to enlarge my vocabulary, my word for the day is protoplasm.

ETA: dammit, ninjaed

11

nm

12

I hate people who learn new words and just try to put them in a conversation. They sound so stupid.

My puppy smells so nice, I just picked her up from the groomer.

13

How dare you enslave another creature for your own enjoyment? Set it free, you monster!

I had a tasty glass of bock beer.

14

Beer… do you know how many carbs are in that beer? I have a grain allergy! You people make me sick. Really. Physically sick.

Isn’t it wonderful to see the beautiful spring flowers in bloom?

15

Jesus, haven’t you heard of trigger warnings? I have a pollen allergy! With your grain allergy, you really should know better.

I plan to spend Sunday morning watching Paris-Roubaix.

16

How nice for you. You get to lay in bed and watch sports. Some of us have to get up and work for a living!

Did you hear they’ve discovered a way to cure dementia in the elderly?

17

Of course! They cured it years ago, but Big Pharma makes more money ripping off confused old people for the Medicare benefits.

Hitler seems like he had some pretty sensible ideas, I think he gets a bad rap.

18

Nm

19

“Bad rap”? That’s cultural appropriation! What are you - Bruno Mars?

I think there is too much divisiveness in our political discourse.

Regards,
Shodan

20

nm