[QUOTE=Khadaji]
Just foster a rescued greyhound and let him out regularly. You’ll see them disappear pretty quickly.
[/QUOTE]
Come back! Come back and fight! Dogs aren’t dangerous!
[QUOTE=Scylla]
I oiled my humane traps. Tomorrow I will bait them with corn. I will drown every one that I catch. I will hie me to the Agway and purchase WMDs, the poison gas, and the awesome destructive force that is the Hadagopher bomb. I cleaned my trusty .22, and will hang out on the garage roof, and I will feed the vultures the rotten stinking corpses of every single Ground Grizzly I shoot.
[/QUOTE]
But no waterboarding, because that would just be going too far.
[QUOTE=Oredigger77]
A great way to solve this problem is to barrow a welder’s equipment and pump acetylene and oxygen down the burrows wait a couple of min and then light with a striker. The explosion should at least partially collapse the burrow then you can move to the end of the destruction and pump in more I’ve never seen it take more then a couple of attempts.
[Bill Murry] Don’t drive angry. Don’t drive angry. [/Bill Murry]
[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Jackmannii]
Why not use a weapon designed for the purpose?
I give you…The Rodenator.
They don’t specifically mention groundhogs, but maybe they’ll sell you an upgrade that works all the way up through deer and noisy neighbors.
[/QUOTE]
You may want to rethink that.
[QUOTE=Scylla]
We’ve had some recent skirmishes in the past, the Groundhogs and I. They ate my pumpkins last year, and I killed a few.
[/QUOTE]
Well, you grow your pumpkins outside, what do you expect? 
Great OP anyway.
Scylla, this is the best OP I’ve read all week. Possibly all year. Quite possibly is the greatest OP that has ever been composed, on this and any other message board, and once Zeus hears of it, he will decide that mankind has served its purpose and the floodwaters may be released so that he can start anew. You have, in other words, doomed the Earth with the brilliance of your OP.
Scylla, have you read The $64 Tomato? It contains an epic battle, much like your own, with a groundhog hatefully dubbed “Superchuck”.
[QUOTE=Scylla]
Groundhogs. I swear to God. I’m not making this up. They found me. They tried to kill me.
[/QUOTE]
Orrie? Is that you?
[QUOTE=FarmerChick]
You may want to rethink that.
Gopher-exterminating device sparks prairie blaze
[/QUOTE]
That’s the story I was thinking about throughout this thread - I thought this sounded familiar. That’s one massive “oops” - sorry about almost burning down your houses!
The race goes on, Scylla. It goes on.
It’s the animal conspiracy!!
Both of my traps were cleaned of corn. No groundhog is subtle and graceful enough to pluck corn without triggering the trap.
I’ve seen this before. It means chipmunks are involved. I tied ears of corn into the traps to thwart the chipmunks.
In other news my dog killed one.
So, I guess today counts as a victory.
[QUOTE=Skald the Rhymer]
Scylla, this is the best OP I’ve read all week. Possibly all year. Quite possibly is the greatest OP that has ever been composed, on this and any other message board, and once Zeus hears of it, he will decide that mankind has served its purpose and the floodwaters may be released so that he can start anew. You have, in other words, doomed the Earth with the brilliance of your OP.
[/QUOTE]
Sadly, I fear you missed the original thread, “How to Kill evil nazi groundhogs”. It appears to have been lost in the mists of entropy. That was one hell of an OP.
[QUOTE=Qadgop the Mercotan]
Sadly, I fear you missed the original thread, “How to Kill evil nazi groundhogs”. It appears to have been lost in the mists of entropy. That was one hell of an OP.
[/QUOTE]
Fool of a Took! Clearly The universe has already been reset once! Can you not see the hand of Eru Iluvatur when it is punching you in the nose?
[QUOTE=I Love Me, Vol. I]
Well I just had to look… having read the thread title.
Not what I expected.
[/QUOTE]
Heh… I saw the thread title, then who posted it and somehow knew exactly what the subject was going to be. I assume I’m not alone in this?
Former Farm boy that has had to put down quite a few cows/calves and some horses that have brokens leg bones in gopher holes.
Drive your 71 ford to a gopher hole, put a flexible 3 inch hose from the exhaust to the opening of the mound.
pile up dirt around the hose where it meets the mound (to create a seal).
let the engine run for 5 minutes or so.
walk around and shoot the dazed gophers as they wobble out of their holes
fill in holes
rinse and repeat…
FML
[QUOTE=drachillix]
Come back! Come back and fight! Dogs aren’t dangerous!
[/QUOTE]
Tell that to Scylla’s groundhogs.
[QUOTE=Scylla]
Both of my traps were cleaned of corn. No groundhog is subtle and graceful enough to pluck corn without triggering the trap.
I’ve seen this before. It means chipmunks are involved. I tied ears of corn into the traps to thwart the chipmunks.
In other news my dog killed one.
So, I guess today counts as a victory.
[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Marley23]
Taking the lead groundhog into the basement and bricking him up behind a false wall might scare any survivors into backing off. Remember that, Scylla - you’ve got to leave one alive so it can tell the others about you.
[/QUOTE]
A bit of a foolish move if you don’t know exactly how many others there is… he might come back with millions of mates. Kill them all, and let God sort out the cuddly, from the grizzly groundhogs!
Groundhogs: The Mounding Bane
Please tell me that “Groundhogs” is not the name of your neighbors. :eek:
Here’s the expert’s advice:
Carl Spackler: "I got to get into this dude’s pelt and crawl around for a few days. Who’s the gopher’s ally. His friends. The harmless squirrel and the friendly rabbit."
Or in your case, the cheerful chipmunk.
"In the immortal words of Jean Paul Sartre, ‘Au revoir, gopher’. " 