Come back! Come back and fight! Dogs aren’t dangerous!
But no waterboarding, because that would just be going too far.
You may want to rethink that.
Well, you grow your pumpkins outside, what do you expect? 
Great OP anyway.
Scylla, this is the best OP I’ve read all week. Possibly all year. Quite possibly is the greatest OP that has ever been composed, on this and any other message board, and once Zeus hears of it, he will decide that mankind has served its purpose and the floodwaters may be released so that he can start anew. You have, in other words, doomed the Earth with the brilliance of your OP.
Scylla, have you read The $64 Tomato? It contains an epic battle, much like your own, with a groundhog hatefully dubbed “Superchuck”.
Orrie? Is that you?
That’s the story I was thinking about throughout this thread - I thought this sounded familiar. That’s one massive “oops” - sorry about almost burning down your houses!
The race goes on, Scylla. It goes on.
It’s the animal conspiracy!!
Both of my traps were cleaned of corn. No groundhog is subtle and graceful enough to pluck corn without triggering the trap.
I’ve seen this before. It means chipmunks are involved. I tied ears of corn into the traps to thwart the chipmunks.
In other news my dog killed one.
So, I guess today counts as a victory.
Sadly, I fear you missed the original thread, “How to Kill evil nazi groundhogs”. It appears to have been lost in the mists of entropy. That was one hell of an OP.
Fool of a Took! Clearly The universe has already been reset once! Can you not see the hand of Eru Iluvatur when it is punching you in the nose?
Heh… I saw the thread title, then who posted it and somehow knew exactly what the subject was going to be. I assume I’m not alone in this?
Former Farm boy that has had to put down quite a few cows/calves and some horses that have brokens leg bones in gopher holes.
Drive your 71 ford to a gopher hole, put a flexible 3 inch hose from the exhaust to the opening of the mound.
pile up dirt around the hose where it meets the mound (to create a seal).
let the engine run for 5 minutes or so.
walk around and shoot the dazed gophers as they wobble out of their holes
fill in holes
rinse and repeat…
FML
Tell that to Scylla’s groundhogs.
A bit of a foolish move if you don’t know exactly how many others there is… he might come back with millions of mates. Kill them all, and let God sort out the cuddly, from the grizzly groundhogs!
Groundhogs: The Mounding Bane
Please tell me that “Groundhogs” is not the name of your neighbors. :eek:
Here’s the expert’s advice:
Carl Spackler: "I got to get into this dude’s pelt and crawl around for a few days. Who’s the gopher’s ally. His friends. The harmless squirrel and the friendly rabbit."
Or in your case, the cheerful chipmunk.
"In the immortal words of Jean Paul Sartre, ‘Au revoir, gopher’. " 