I have followed this board off and on since the early eighties. I have learned alot, laughed alot, and raged alot.
So now I need some help. I am 60 years old with next to no skills. I worked in a warehouse up until last year when I couldn’t keep up anymore. Physcial and mental problems kept me from keeping my last job. I haven’t worked in over a year and my physical problems have gotten worse.
For the last six months or so my eyes have started to bail on me. I haven’t had insurance for over a year so when I did go the doctors it was on my dime. Dry eye or some such thing is my problem. I couldn’t afford the Big Pharma drugs so I have been using OTC eye drops.
My eyes cement over when I sleep so that when I try to open them when I wake up I have to rub them to get them to open. They also itch alot when I am awake so I rub them at those times too. After rubbing them, they burn and I can barely keep them open. This happens every day and every night.
Every day I blink and rub and squirt eye drops, not such a big thing compared to the problems that other people have, but it is a problem for me. I applied for SSDI over a year ago and my claim was denied. I updated my claim with my eye problems, but that hasn’t gone anywhere. I can barely see at times.
So my IRA and my savings are gone. My love and hope for my country is also gone. A lot of people here at the SDMB have given me a lot of hope over the years, but there has been a major disconnect from the SDMB fighting ignorance and the majority of the US being paid to stay ignorant. The SDMB still gives me laughs and reasons to rage. But my hope is gone.The racist’s rose up to vote.
I have a lot of pills and a garbage bag that will fit over my head. Unfortunately, over the past few months that exit strategy doesn’t seem to be as likely to me as I once had hoped it would be. I don’t have anything to offer society anymore, yet I don’t seem to have the balls to bail out on life, maybe I am just scared.
I am on the brink of homelessness. There was a thread here on homelessness recently and there wasn’t much help there for me. Posters offered some great suggestions, but I am not able to help myself so much anymore. I know this isn’t easy to read, but it isn’t easy for me to type it out either, I have to keep blinking, rubbing, squirting eye drops, and I can’t lift fifty pounds repetatively anymore. So I need your help.
I used my credit card to pay my rent and pay for my food this month. I am out of cash, I have barely enough cash left to make the minimum payment on the card
I have at least 5K of room on my credit card. I also have a valid US passport and Ohio drivers license. I currently spend 655 a month on rent. I can maybe keep up this charade through November. It starts to get cold in November in Ohio.
I will be homeless soon, and I want to weigh my options. Commit a crime and go to jail? I have been in jail before, but not prison. Since I am too much of a pussy to take the pills, maybe prison is the ‘back door’ solution to the end of my life?
I have called homeless shelters in Columbus and there is a waiting list. You have to call them everyday to find out if there is a bed available. I am not sure how homeless people have such access to a phone everyday, especially since when I called their number I was on hold for over an hour.
There has to be a better place to be homeless than Columbus, OH. I also have a vehicle. I have thought about driving to Canada, but they have enough of our refugee’s already and I don’t know that they would care to put me into a heated home. They would probably drop me off at the border and say good luck.
The same with Mexico. An old gringo without any money? They don’t even bother taking you to the border. They will take my car away and put my carcass in the desert. Not a totally bad way to go though.
So sell my car and buy a one way ticket to where? Actually, I am sure there are places in the US I could drive to that would let me use my credit card for couple of months that would be a warmer place to be homeless in than Columbus.
I would love to find another country that would be willing to take a refugee from the US.
Dopers, most of you are the smartest and most compassionate people in the world that I know of. Five thousand dollars buys me about two months here, can I get four months somewhere else?