I Really Hate Our Cat

We adopted a cat from our friend when she moved to England. I usually like cats.

But this cat ain’t right.

It’s stumpy. So stumpy it can’t come down the stairs properly and so must hop like a rabbit. It can’t jump into laps, either, so it’ll just claw itself up your leg. Oh, and the bed as well.

It has bad breath. It drools. It coughs up hairballs in my pajama drawer. We heard it vomit in the night a few days ago- but we never found the results.

It bugs. It has an unholy attachment to me, even though I am the person who hates the cat the most. I have to lock it out of the bedroom because it sleeps ON me. If I sleep on my back, then it sleeps on my chest. On my stomach? It sleeps on my ass. Side? It’ll just drape itself around my waist and dig its paws into my kidneys. It’s been known to sleep ON the baby as well.

It STARES. Puts its beasty eye almost against yours while you sleep and STARES until you wake up.

It’s fat and food-obsessed. It steals food off our plates and hangs around under the baby’s highchair. It fishes in the disposal for treasure. It knocks over the trash. It eats anything- even pureed squash.

It meows and meows ONLY when we put the baby to bed.

It gnaws its own toenails. Loudly.

It refuses the scratching post, but destroys the rug.

Its bizarrely posessive- it’ll growl at anyone who comes to the door, but then promptly hides because it is shy.

I really hate my cat.

Really really.

And it’s only 8, so I have about 10 years of crappy cat love before I’m rid of it.

Now I understand why it returned to the shelter (twice) before my friend adopted it.

Damn this thrice-recycled cat.

Aww, he’s just got personality!

We’d like another one, please.

I don’t like cats in general. And your cat sounds weird, hah.

Kittens are cute - except my friend’s evil kitten. I stayed at his place for a weekend when I was down there visiting, and this cat was psycho. All it would do it jump on you and claw you, and practice pouncing on your feet and cut your feet/ankles to shreds. It was a cute cat, but an evil little bastard. I was sitting on the floor trying to pack before I left, hungover, and the cat just kept pouncing on my foot, scratching me, drawing blood, then I’d scoop him up and toss him gently away and he’d just come back, over and over. Argh! I have a scar from that cat - I was down there 2 months ago.

I’m just not a big pet person either. I like other people’s pets when they aren’t psycho like above cat, but I’m not sure if I ever want one of my own. Wasn’t allowed to have pets when I was a kid (which never bothered me).

Does he look anything like this: http://www.christian-news-in-maine.com/bill.gif ? (Because you could always run him for pesident.)

A cat should not have bad breath. You should probably take it to the vet and check it for tooth decay.

inkleberry, As much as I love cats, I’ve had one much like yours and I have to agree. I ended up giving it back to the people that gave it to me.
She was movie-star beautiful, but OMG, she was so needy I’d swear she was a damn dog. (I apologize to all the dog lovers in advance) And dumber than a sneaker full of s**t.
She did the same things yours does. Unless the rest of the family is really attached, find it a new home and get a baby more compatible.

Awe… inkleberry, wuvs her widdle kitty-witty-ums…
You two remind me of the “Odd Couple” which one was the slob? Maybe you should rename you cat that.


What you have there is a cat. Felinus Ornerius. Kitty has needs and likes things it’s way.

You gotta WUV the widdle kitty because it wants to be around you. ALL the time.

I say I love cats but I’m beginning to realize I’ve only really loved 2 of the 10 or so I’ve had over the years. Of the remaining 8 I really couldn’t stand most of them for many of the reasons you list. I wonder if I’m allowing 2 abnormal animals to skew my perception of an entire species?

And yeah, yours sounds like The Cat From Hell. Almost like it knows how to annoy you and enjoys doing it!

Gotta agree. The cat may be living with continual and extreme pain, causing it to behave as it does. Gnawing its toenails might also suggest this. And being unable to handle the stairs could mean a painful dislocated joint.

Or maybe you have a beaver. Is it’s tail kind of on the flat side?

Someone I worked with took in a dog whose owner moved. It did some very abnormal stuff. I had to ask if they really know the owner well or did they just think they did.

Sadly, it is in excellent health. He’s just…stumpy. His legs are just too short for the rest of him. He’s about as tall as one stair, even though he’s full-grown.

My cat’s breath smells of cat food. Normal cat bad breath. BUT I HATES IT. WHY CAN"T IT EAT SOME MINTS? WHY MUST IT PUT IT’S SMELLY PIE HOLE AGAINST MY NOSE IN THE NIGHT?

Beats the other hole against your nose, though, doesn’t it?


awwww - he sounds so CUTE!!!

Awwww, what a snuggly-wuggly lil’ snookums!


I think I have this cat’s brother. Our cat was also recycled–a return to the Humane Society.

Now I know why he was returned.
Our cat licks walls–not shower walls that are wet–bedroom or hallway walls.

Vet is scratching his head over that one. When the cat does this at noc (0300) to the wall next to my head–it sounds like nothing on earth, but it is loud. He whines constantly (I think there is some Siamese in him) and he eats everything–he weighs in at 21 pounds, 11 ounces–and that is ON the diet food(which ain’t cheap).
It also sits on the keyboard whilst I try to type. I do not find this cute.
If it weren’t for the HS policy of once you give a cat back, they don’t ever let you get another pet from them, I would return the damned cat.
I have had 2 cats–neither one was a “loner” or “persnickety” about its food habits.

I think it’s all a myth to get people who don’t like dogs* to get cats. Ha!
*I have nothing against dogs. I just don’t want one. I don’t want to be followed from room to room and licked. Really.

See? It’s women thinking like that, that kept me single for so long.

I meant by a DOG.
Everything else is negotiable.