[QUOTE=black rabbit]
Brotally.
[/QUOTE]
Hee. “Bromaldehyde”. Hee.
But did the obese bouncers dress the same? Why do they do that?
[QUOTE=Q.E.D.]
“Tower, roll out Rescue 1; we’ve got one coming down in flames!”
[/QUOTE]
How very self-aware you are this afternoon.
Hilarious OP. It’s been a few years since I’ve been to a strip club but I can’t recall a thing about any of the bouncers in any of the clubs that I’ve visited. I prefer them to be invisible unless there is trouble.
In recent news, two fire/rescue helicopters previously transporting water were diverted from their scheduled water-dumping action over the Californian bush-fire to come to the aid of Chicago-based company “The Chicago Reader”, whose server rooms spontanously self-combusted earlier this evening.
[QUOTE=Scumpup]
morbidly obese, red-in-the-face and wheezing, waddlebutts… These two fat fucks looked entirely capable of having a heart attack just lumbering across the room. Bounce me? Shit. They might pass the fuck out and fall on me. “Avalanche of sweaty flesh fu” as it were… their phalli were lost under multiple folds of flab…no doubt with mildew in the creases… two shambling mounds of cholesterol… puffing fat-asses.
[/QUOTE]
Y’know, when I first read the OP, I thought “oooooh boy,” but when nobody started screaming bloody murder, I realized that this kind of stuff is only highly offensive to fat girls apparently.
I mean, I’m thin and I don’t even have any fat friends (I don’t know why - it just worked out that way), so I don’t really care one way or another, but it does seem kind of odd.
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton]
I don’t know guys like that would necessarily be ineffectual as bouncers. There’s a lot to be said for sheer body mass. Anyway, a bouncer’s main job is to look so intimidating that nobody starts anything. A bouncer like the OP describes might not scare me the same way a hardbody would – he’d scare me in a different way; I’d do anything to avoid physical contact with him. 
[/QUOTE]
The bouncing bouncer speaks: "Behave or I’ll sit on ya. And if that don’t work.. I had beans for lunch. I feel some bean-tainted beer farts coming on.
So, punk. Do you feel lucky?"
[QUOTE=Happy Scrappy Hero Pup]
Nobody’s soft until you can take them.
COULD you take them?.
[/QUOTE]
Is it necessary to start bring the truth into this? 
Being both fat and ugly I never even had a bouncer look at me with anything but interest. Don’t let size and facial expression fool you. Fat and stupid often equals a juggernaut too stupid to be afraid. Somebody mentioned Samoans. Word to your mother. The only big boy scarier than that to ever smack me was a Maori, and after two punches and him knocking me on my ass, I begged his pardon and he allowed me to go my drunken way. That guy had class.
But don’t let my opinion sway you. I’ve been married for 15 years and haven’t felt the need to disrespect my beautiful wife by hanging out in such places. Only bad things come from tempting fate like that.
[QUOTE=neutron star]
Y’know, when I first read the OP, I thought “oooooh boy,” but when nobody started screaming bloody murder, I realized that this kind of stuff is only highly offensive to fat girls apparently.
[/QUOTE]
Nah, it’s because we realize he’'s a sexually frustrated moron with the emotional maturity of a 15 year old, and there is no hope for change. Why bother to engage him?
[QUOTE=neutron star]
I mean, I’m thin and I don’t even have any fat friends (I don’t know why - it just worked out that way), so I don’t really care one way or another, but it does seem kind of odd.
[/QUOTE]
I’d be your pal in a minute. You’re one of the good guys.
Total hijack, but one of my best friends is one of those Samoans and I gotta tell ya; you’ve never met a nicer, gentler guy who could pound you to death with one blow if he ever wanted to, and never would because he’s such a gentle bear. I’ve defended him and I’m 1/3 his size, but don’t ever make him really, really mad. We’re talking “Hulk Smash!”
[QUOTE=fisha]
Nah, it’s because we realize he’'s a sexually frustrated moron with the emotional maturity of a 15 year old, and there is no hope for change. Why bother to engage him?
[/QUOTE]
Sexually frustrated? Boy howdy, have you got that wrong! Then again, I guess you’re probably used to being wrong.
I love it when one of you dweebs starts trotting out the half-assed psychological evaluations. It’s inevitably done by losers who think it makes them seem intelligent…another thing you got wrong, I might add.
[QUOTE=gigi]
Hee. “Bromaldehyde”. Hee.
[/QUOTE]
I also liked “Faux breaux”.
Back to the OP, I went to a strip club for the first time since I was a teenager, just last week. Was with a bunch of guys, and it was just as shitty as I expected. I’m not prude - I love the female form, and the girls were pretty and non-skanky looking - but if I want to see bikinis and drink beer, I can do it at the beach. The worst part is that this place was obviously a former suburban pub. I feel sorry for the old regulars when a pub gets stuffed up like that.
There were some deves in the front seats getting into it, but I’d wager 90% of the customers were in little groups talking and drinking beer. I can go to a normal pub for that, and much cheaper (and more pleasant).
[QUOTE=Scumpup]
Sexually frustrated? Boy howdy, have you got that wrong! Then again, I guess you’re probably used to being wrong.
I love it when one of you dweebs starts trotting out the half-assed psychological evaluations. It’s inevitably done by losers who think it makes them seem intelligent…another thing you got wrong, I might add.
[/QUOTE]
I have yet to see a man that goes to strip clubs when he has a willing woman in bed. If he does, well, that says a lot, too.
Good Christ, you don’t get seem to ever get your fill of being wrong, do you? Now go find a thread with pictures of kitties in it or something and quit talking out your ass in this one.
[QUOTE=Scumpup]
Good Christ, you don’t get seem to ever get your fill of being wrong, do you? Now go find a thread with pictures of kitties in it or something and quit talking out your ass in this one.
[/QUOTE]
You’ve been nothing but an ignorant asshole in this thread, starting with, but not limited to, your OP. Almost all your replies have been hostile. Must be that frustration thing again.
You’re trolling.
[QUOTE=fisha]
I have yet to see a man that goes to strip clubs when he has a willing woman in bed. If he does, well, that says a lot, too.
[/QUOTE]
When I was married, my wife didn’t mind me going on an occasional strip club trip with my buddies. Same went for the friends who attended with me. Now if I went frequently or alone to such places, she would have been upset and rightfully so.
IME, you’re way off base here.
[QUOTE= fisha]
I have yet to see a man that goes to strip clubs when he has a willing woman in bed. If he does, well, that says a lot, too.
[/QUOTE]
You don’t know a lot of men, then.
Strip clubs aren’t really about naked women. I mean, sure, they’re nice to look at, and dropping a little money for some overpriced beer and fake attention is fun and everything, don’t get me wrong.
But the point is to have a place where men can be men. And NO, we can’t do that with you. And NO, “real men” aren’t comfortable being “themselves” regardless of whether their woman is present or not. Strip clubs are a social safety valve. We go there and we drink a Miller Lite for the cost of what a case of Miller Lite would be (and we buy five of them because we’re required to), so that we can sit around and talk in the basest terms about who’s hot and who you would do and so on, without worrying about whether it will slip out when it shouldn’t.
And there’s nothing wrong with that. And saying “The men I know are real men and they don’t go and not everyone needs that, etc.” is not only naive but short-sighted and disrespectful.
And sure there are guys that think the strippers actually LIKE them, but we make fun of them too.
[QUOTE= Scumpup]
You’re as fucking retarded as they were fat. The issue is the fat fucks being on display marring the view of the hot chicks. When the dancers left the stage, it took them right past our table. Instead of good up-close ogling of oiled stripper-flesh, we had the Obesity Boys in action.
[/QUOTE]
Dude, you’re an idiot. You could have played this thread into the same sort of mock-offended where everyone gets a laugh and everybody has fun- but ou’re ACTUALLY upset by the bouncers! And you’re ACTUALLY upset by people’s reactions to you!
First, why are you so fixated on the bouncers? Could you have taken them? Were you wishing that was you, getting the touch for free instead of having to pay for it?
Second, why all the vitriol?
[QUOTE=fisha]
You’ve been nothing but an ignorant asshole in this thread, starting with, but not limited to, your OP. Almost all your replies have been hostile. Must be that frustration thing again.
You’re trolling.
[/QUOTE]
Hostility in The Pit? Who ever heard of such a thing! Jumping Jesus Krishna on a cracker, you get more idiotic with every post. Nobody required you to waddle on in, much less take part.
Since the relaxation of the ban on calling people trolls in The Pit, the word is now over-used and ill-used. Your post quoted above is a fine example of such. You not liking what I have to say doesn’t mean I’m a troll. Twats like you have drained a formerly useful word of its meaning and utility.
So you see, you’re not only wrong about everything you’ve mentioned in this thread, you’re also an unoriginal bore. Go eat another quart of ice cream and brood over why men are such dicks or however you spend your copious alone time. Come back when you have something interesting, or at least factually correct, to say.
I was going to respond, hajario, but decided that my limited experiences in strip clubs cannot be used as a citation, nor am I an expert in the demographics. Plus I got shit to do.
scumpup is still a moron, and he’s definitely trolling.
I now am convinced that I am going to open a strip club populated with heavy Samoan women as the dancers, and pasty, wheezing, needle-thin computer geeks as the bouncers. They will carry razor-edged slide-rules and pocket protectors with poison-tipped quills as their primary means of enforcement, and if someone gets really out of hand, we’ll just sic the damn Samoan females on them.
Of course, a 300lb Samoan women giving the average American male a “lap dance” may take on an entirely different meaning!
