I resent it when strip clubs hire fat-ass bouncers.

[Scumpup]

Thanks!

[Duck_Duck_Goose]

@Scumpup

Who said I groped any, dufus?

Erm…?

From your OP?

if you buy a lap dance ($20) you are allowed to fondle the girl and may touch everything but the holy of holeys itself. The girls were friendly, hot, and not too overtly mercenary and we had a great time with them.

Evidently I’m not the only one who assumed from the beginning that “having a great time” with strippers who are “hot, friendly, and not overtly mercenary” who are allowed to be fondled would include…fondling. Or are you going to maintain that you sat there with a stripper on your lap, knowing you were allowed to fondle her breasts, yet you summoned up some kind of otherworldly reserve and kept your hands resolutely in your pockets? If so, then kudos of a sort, I suppose, but on the other hand, why bother to go to a “grope the strippers!” bar if you’re not gonna grope the strippers?

Or are you saying you never ponied up the 20 for the lap dance, but just sat there sucking up the cheap beer? Gosh, guess the joint lost money on you, then.

What I’m hearing from your OP is not that you were annoyed by the bouncers’ merely being in your LOS, but that you found them fat and repulsive to begin with, and every time they were in your LOS, you thought, not, “Eh, bouncer, down in front”, but rather, “Eh, repulsive fat person, down in front”. That if the bouncers had been hunky Chippendales types, you wouldn’t have bothered to Pit them for being in your LOS.

*having the view polluted with fat-asses *

Uh huh.

Which explains a good part of your pileon here, I think.

[Cat_Fight]

@RichS.

And of course a thread wouldn’t be a thread without Cat Fight coming in and crusading for the poor poor trod upon women in America.

There’s enough misandry and misogyny on this board that you don’t need to point it all out.

Sorry, but who the hell are you?

[eleanorigby]

@astro

I don’t think it’s pile on hating as much as sheer amusement at the attitude. Here we have a person hanging out in a vaguely unsavory place whose main recommendations are cheap beer and cheap gropes, and he feels completely put out that the fat mooks the club has hired are not up to what he considers an appropriate professional standard for titty bar security.

An excellent summation, but no worries, there’s some “hate” there–well, not hate, but contempt. It’s freely given and no tip expected!

My profuse apologies for my typo in post #74. And I must have missed the angry cunt wife–did a nasty female drive the OP into the soft and open arms of a stripper?

That fits.

[Maeglin]

@Scumpup

Who said I groped any, dufus?

Another one who claims he didn’t inhale.

[Cluricaun]

@Cat Fight

Sorry, but who the hell are you?

President of your fan club?

[Dangerosa]

@astro

I don’t think it’s pile on hating as much as sheer amusement at the attitude. Here we have a person hanging out in a vaguely unsavory place whose main recommendations are cheap beer and cheap gropes, and he feels completely put out that the fat mooks the club has hired are not up to what he considers an appropriate professional standard for titty bar security.

And seems vaguely offended that anyone would assume he groped the strippers.

[Scumpup]

No, I’m not offended. It just happens that I didn’t; so make sure you dive into the fray aiming at me for things I did, not things you assume I did. FTR:

1. I drank a lot.
2. I ogled strippers when the view was unobstructed.
3. I chatted with strippers when they sat at our table.
4. I breathed a lot of second hand smoke.
5. I went to a diner after and ate an unhealthy meal.
6. I didn’t wear my helmetwhen I rode my motorcycle home the next morning.
   Now I’m sure many of you will be able to find enough in there to scorn that you won’t need to make shit up.

[Santo_Rugger]

Yeah, you probably should have worn your helmet.

[VinylTurnip]

Why bother?

[Scumpup]

Evidently I’m not the only one who assumed from the beginning that “having a great time” with strippers who are “hot, friendly, and not overtly mercenary” who are allowed to be fondled would include…fondling.

You really should work on that reading comprehension, old sock. In my OP, I explained “da rulez” of the establishment; a topic on which I expanded somewhat in subsequent posts. Since you either read carelessly or not at all, let me summarize for you.

At this gentleman’s club, one pays a $10 cover charge for entry. The cover includes all the draft beer you care to drink. IF one purchases a lap dance, THEN one may fondle the dancer DURING the lap dance. The lap dances are done in a separate, semi-private room; unless one wishes to pay the $150 for a private room. I didn’t spring for a lap dance, ergo I wasn’t doing any fondling.
The dancers, when not on stage, circulate among the customers and sit with them at their tables. No groping, or indeed any significant touching of the dancers at all, takes place outside of lap dancing. The girls typically chit-chat with the customers about many things while at their tables. For example we talked with the dancers about motorcycles, Wicca, Wall-E, and pizza, among other topics. Strippers are people, too, you see and are often have an amusing outlook on life. My wishing to ogle them doesn’t preclude my enjoying conversaton with them.

Is there anything else I can clarify for you?

[Duck_Duck_Goose]

@Scumpup

You really should work on that reading comprehension, old sock. In my OP, I explained “da rulez” of the establishment; a topic on which I expanded somewhat in subsequent posts. Since you either read carelessly or not at all, let me summarize for you.

Hey, don’t condescend to me about reading comprehension. Nothing in my post shows that I didn’t “get” what was happening. You had the option to pay $20 for a lap dance; you never said whether you did or didn’t, so the logical inference from the thread so far was that you did, since nowhere did you explicate that you HADN’T paid for a lap dance. The sum total of your further elucidation as to what exactly went on that night is as follows:

There is no rule explicitly against it. I’d suppose one would want to spend the extra money on a private room for the dance and tip heavily after.

We had two very hot strippers at our table with us, on and off, during the evening.

They try to entice you into lap dances, of course, and suggest the private room (which is $150)

You had two hot strippers at your table throughout the evening, which since you didn’t SAY, could have been in the semi-private lap dance room.

So yeah, the logical inference–which I’m not the only one making–was that you paid for a lap dance.

We’re not mind readers.

[Mtgman]

So the fat-ass, doughy bouncers bothered you to the point where you couldn’t enjoy the show, but the fat-ass, doughy customers who make up probably half the number of guys in the club don’t? The ones crowding the stage(blocking the view, natch) and groping everything they can whenever they can. Those aren’t mentioned. Did the universe align in some spectacularly unlikely way to keep these patrons out during this time so all you had to look at was guys in good shape(and behaving well), and hawt women? If so, where the hell do you get off bitching that this one in ten million occurrence couldn’t have been BETTER by removing the flabby bouncers? Hot, inexpensive, gropeable strippers. Incredibly cheap beer. An extremely uncommon absence of eyesore fellow patrons. What the hell more do you want!?!

Enjoy,
Steven

[Scumpup]

RE: the fat-ass doughy customers:

1. The place wasn’t crowded, so we weren’t cheek-by-jowl with them.
2. The ones that were “crowding” the stage were seated at it so they could give the girls singles. That put them below and to the side of the dancers from our POV. Unlike the bouncers, they weren’t obstructing the show.

[Skywatcher]

@Scumpup

Thanks!

Quite welcome.

Judging by your posts here, I’m guessing that Head Bouncer speech is the most realistic thing in the movie by a long shot.

[Dangerosa]

@Scumpup

Well, they’d have to improve several notches to qualify as mooks. Really, I think my point is quite simple:

1. I go to strip clubs to look at the strippers, not Jabba and Jobba the Hutts.
2. Bouncers should be largely out of sight unless their services are required, even if they are movie star handsome, but especially if they look like a huge mound of spoiled ricotta cheese with a goatee and a baseball cap.

Putting those two right in the middle of what should have been a perfect view of hot, naked dancers was like visiting a formal flower garden only to have an enormous dung heap, stinking and buzzing with flies, in the middle of the blossoms.

I’ve never been a stripper (I have a few acquaintances that have) but I think if I did strip I would want VISIBLE bouncers. Seems to me that discouraging inappropriate behavior in a strip club is as valuable as stopping it after it happens.

[Scumpup]

What I’m hearing from your OP is not that you were annoyed by the bouncers’ merely being in your LOS, but that you found them fat and repulsive to begin with, and every time they were in your LOS, you thought, not, “Eh, bouncer, down in front”, but rather, “Eh, repulsive fat person, down in front”. That if the bouncers had been hunky Chippendales types, you wouldn’t have bothered to Pit them for being in your LOS.

Forgot to respond to this. Here you may actually have somewhat of a point. Given the choice, I do prefer to look at attractive people rather than people who disgust me. Chippendale bouncers would have offended me less on that account, I guess. More importantly, Chippendales aren’t such big fat-asses that they can blot out the sun. A Chippendale bouncer wouldn’t have obstructed the view nearly as much.

[Mtgman]

@Scumpup

RE: the fat-ass doughy customers:

1. The place wasn’t crowded, so we weren’t cheek-by-jowl with them.
2. The ones that were “crowding” the stage were seated at it so they could give the girls singles. That put them below and to the side of the dancers from our POV. Unlike the bouncers, they weren’t obstructing the show.

So you hit the jackpot in price, access, stripper hotness, attentiveness(sitting at your table), drinks, fellow patron courtesy, and competition for stripper time. Yet all you can do is bitch about the bouncers(who didn’t even bounce you unfairly)?

I want your life.

Enjoy,
Steven

[Lightray]

Huh. Reading the thread title, I expected this to be a thread complaining about the OP being bounced from a strip club because he was a fat-ass. Which I thought was a rather odd business plan, to have bouncers just to bounce fat-asses from strip clubs.

That would have been a much more interesting thread.

I would also think that Chippendale bouncers would not be very effective, and probably would block the view even more. All that hair, you see.

[Dangerosa]

@Lightray

I would also think that Chippendale bouncers would not be very effective, and probably would block the view even more. All that hair, you see.

Besides, hot guys in the strip club might pull you back to the reality - she isn’t that into you, she wants the $20 for the lap dance - but she is dating the hot bouncer.