I saw Mommy punching Santa Claus . . . A Xmas story

From one of my coworkers, who got it straight from his girlfriend, who saw this happen last night (take that as a FOAF cite, if you will). He adds, “You probably won’t read about it, as it’s being hush-hushed so as to protect the holy commerce of the season.” Story begins with two young-teen girls (about 13 and 14) sitting down in Santa’s lap . . .

Happy holidays!

If anyone can expose this as an Urban Legend I will be both grateful and disappointed . . . I hope some elf had a camera, if it is true.

Now see if they would feature events like this instead of WWF I’d rent alot more pay-per-veiws.

Holy Christmas Eve!

I think you’ve got the makings of a screenplay there!

Wow. That’s some…wild stuff there.

The only way this would not be in the paper, is if nobody was in the mall to witness this. Two occurences of punching the mall Santa doesn’t miss the papers.

I Snopes’d it and it didn’t turn up . . . I am rather looking forward to throwing it back in my coworker’s face . . .

Please gawd…let it be true. Let it be* true!*

Sounds like a scene from Bad Santa.

I’m posting so if somebody does find a link, I’ll hear of it.

::: Prays:::
Pleaseletitbetrue, Pleaseletitbetrue, Pleaseletitbetrue, Pleaseletitbetrue, Pleaseletitbetrue, Pleaseletitbetrue, Pleaseletitbetrue.

Couldn’t find the New Jersey story but I did find this one about a phony mall Santa unwrapping his package.

Eve if you can script this, I foresee next Christmas’s blockbuster Lifetime Movie. You even have the perfect title!


A quick search of headlines reveals nothing so far.

Here in town we had a guy in a Santa suit with a motorcycle take a little girl on a ride without her parents’ permission, and there was a chase that went like 80 miles an hour with the frantic dad trying to run down Santa, and got his kid back, and when they went to the bar to arrest him Santa left his hat and a half a glass of whiskey on the bar and was hiding in the utility room. No kidding! And he apologized for taking their daughter with “I was in a Santa mood”.

Last weekend there was some sort of event where dozens of guys in Santa suits were running around the City. I saw a whole flock of them by Lincoln Center in the afternoon, dashing into Barnes & Noble to use the bathrooms. Later, in the early evening there were several of the Santas stumbling around 14th Street, obviously well into the Christmas cheer.

The most amusing was this drunken Santa was arguing with this girl in striped elf hose about whether or not she was going to go home with him, she adamantly insisting that he had promised that he would, and he contending that even if he had said he would earlier, he was under no obligation to do so now. After seeing several rounds of this as we were picking up flowers in the deli they were battling outside, we left before the final resolution, picking our way about the weaving red suits.

I hate to ruin a good story, but what was the purported witness doing that she saw the first assault, heard from the cops that the assailant had outstanding warrants, was still there some undetermined period of time later, witnessed the second assault, was still around when the cops showed up, and was then privy to the info that the second assailant had outstanding warrants?

(What with gossipy police dispatchers, drinking buddy cops, and people monitoring the police band on the radio, I would never claim that the information could not be out there (although it makes not seeing it in the news a bit odd), but the story appears to hang on the testimony of a nearly omniscient bystander.)

now now, it could have come from mall security, or a mall employee who was stuck in a booth near the event.

What were two young-teen girls doing sitting on Santa’s lap in the first place? Isn’t that age a bit too old?

My last trip to Santa’s lap was in my late 20s, with my best friend. Never too old for a campy picture on Santa’s lap. Santa didn’t call us bitches, though.