I saw Mommy punching Santa Claus . . . A Xmas story

[Pixiesnix]

Did you ask him nicely?

[Musicat]

@Otto

My last trip to Santa’s lap was in my late 20s, with my best friend. Never too old for a campy picture on Santa’s lap. Santa didn’t call us bitches, though.

Yeah, but “Ho, ho, ho!” could be interpreted differently if there were three of you.

[Zebra]

@Pixiesnix

What were two young-teen girls doing sitting on Santa’s lap in the first place? Isn’t that age a bit too old?

That is the only job benefit of being a Santa.

[Moe]

@Billdo

Last weekend there was some sort of event where dozens of guys in Santa suits were running around the City. I saw a whole flock of them by Lincoln Center in the afternoon, dashing into Barnes & Noble to use the bathrooms. Later, in the early evening there were several of the Santas stumbling around 14th Street, obviously well into the Christmas cheer.

The most amusing was this drunken Santa was arguing with this girl in striped elf hose about whether or not she was going to go home with him, she adamantly insisting that he had promised that he would, and he contending that even if he had said he would earlier, he was under no obligation to do so now. After seeing several rounds of this as we were picking up flowers in the deli they were battling outside, we left before the final resolution, picking our way about the weaving red suits.

Yep, saw it too. It was Santa Con (or at least that’s what one of the Santas told me when I asked), setting new standards of geekiness for subcultural conventions. I saw them hanging out on W. 44th at around 2pmish. I actually have a bad cellphone pic, but I don’t know yet how to get data off my phone.

[danceswithcats]

Methinks we should be provided with pictures of the two girls such that an independent judgement can be reached regarding whether or not they will be nice bitches.

Purely in the interest of objectivity. What?

[Pixiesnix]

Well, shows what I know. FWIW, I still think this story came out of Santa’s reindeer stalls.

[Tazmanian_Devil]

@swampbear

Eve if you can script this, I foresee next Christmas’s blockbuster Lifetime Movie. You even have the perfect title!

And you can use this song as the movie’s theme song…

[Larry_Griffin-Kentzel]

Originally posted by swampbear

. . . You even have the perfect title!

She always does.

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[Geobabe]

@Moe

I actually have a bad cellphone pic, but I don’t know yet how to get data off my phone.

You should be able to email it to yourself–tell the phone to send the picture, but put it into abc instead of number entry mode and put in your email address.

[Count_Blucher]

Eve, did you get the name of the mall it happened at? Its possible some of us may be able to dig deeper than others to get the details. It was a NJ mall, yes…?

PS- If you want to use first initial, fine, but in the case of ‘W’, please at least give us a ‘Wi’ or a ‘Wo’. (Why oh why am I thinking it was ‘Wi’…?)

[Don26]

After a dozen phone calls asking what I was doing that Christmas Eve, with me responding each time with: “Taking the kid to see the fat bastard” I took my adorable 4 yr old to the mall, after an hour and a half in line, he climbed up on Santa’s lap and in full voice exclaimed, “You are a FAT BASTARD” Santa said he hadn’t laughed that hard in years

[Celyn]

But did he eat all the pies?

Who ate all the pies?
Who ate all the pies?
You fat bastard,
You fat bastard,
You ate all the pies! 

Who Ate All the Pies?

[Eve]

I grilled my coworker (“Wouldn’t they have called the mall cops?” “How could they have known that quickly she had outstanding warrants?” “I’ll bet it’s an urban legend.”) and he swears up and down it really happened and says after the holiday season is over it might get some press.

I remain dubious.