Okay, maybe that dosn’t seem like such an enormous deal. But I can tell you, I was mystified and amazed, and more than a little scared.
See, Ramoth and I have been dating for, oh, almost a year and a half now. I think, early in the relationship, we made it on time to a movie once or twice. Since then, I’ve not seen a single ad, and rarely even a preview. As much as I despise being late, something always happened.
I despise being late, because there’s no time to get food and drink, there’re no good seats left, and because I can’t see anyway. And people get pissed at me when I use my flashlight.
Usually, we wind up groping in the dark for two seats together. Frequently in the middle of a row, causing me to have to maneuver my somewhat large body around a great many annoyed people. Who have every right to be annoyed; I can’t blame them. If I was on time for a movie and someone did that to me, I’d be annoyed.
More than once we’ve had to leave because we couldn’t find suitable seating. The first few rows are usually empty, but we can’t sit there because it hurts my neck and makes her pukey. So, it’s ticket refunds and alternate forms of entertainment.
Now, I can tell you that when I entered that theatre today and the lights were still on, with only one or two people there, I was scared. It’s a sign, I thought; I had been cursed never to be early to a movie again, and yet there I stood. I thought I would soon wake up in a cold sweat, or have the pit of Hell open beneath me, with Satan himself taunting that I would not be allowed to watch the movie I’d been on time for, and that the scenario would repeat. But then I remembered something that turned my blood chilling terror into mild indigestion.
We were early by accident.
We would have been on time, except that we… got caught up in something before leaving. So, we left later than expected, and on arriving at the theatre at 4:15 for our 4:00 show, I ambled up to the quick-pay line in my usual fashion, knowing full well how late I was, long ago accustomed to it. I entered the ticket choices, and was preparing to swipe the card (which I love doing), when I noticed something.
There was a 4:30 showing of the same movie.
On the way to the theatre, Ramoth had been gloating. ha ha, we’re going to be late again! Your dream will never be realised! Abject as ever, I sat in silence, knowing that she was right and having given up the matter.
I didn’t know what to do. I was frightened and confused. So I did what I usually do.
I asked her. She said okay. I, still in shock, selected the 4:30 show and, with trembling hands, took the tickets and headed off.
Coming to the top of the escalator, I did my usual of making a beeline for the correct theatre in an attempt to see as much of the movie as possible. And then, it hit me like a sack of doorknobs.
The movie hadn’t started yet.
I took a moment to consider it. It didn’t seem real. And then, I did something I’ve not done in a long time. I went to get snacks. No, I did not run, or pace in line and rush the clerk. No, I took my damn sweet time. Because I could. The people in front of me were taking ungodly long, but it didn’t bother me at all, because I had the time. It was glorious.
On entering the theatre, my pupils automatically widened to their maximum in anticipation of the sudden darkness. I was hit by a light as bright as the Heavens, and remembered; it had not started yet. I whooped with joy and bounded down the corridor, almost knocking down a man exiting in my childlike enthusiasm. Ramoth, her eyes rolling almost painfully in her head, still could not suppress a grin at my joy. It was almost desolate. Almost noone in the theatre. I bounded to the very top, and chose the seats in the very middle. I even secured for myself a broken chair! (I like those because they lean back quite far). As I settled back to watch the pre-show ads, and then the previews, I munched and drank on my non-rushed commodities to my little heart’s content. I, my friends, was on time for a movie, and I’m on top of the world.
Yeah, so I’m a five year old in a twenty year old’s body. But you gotta love me. 
Oh, Planet of the Apes was good, albiet with a very frustrating ending. And having seen the previews, I know now that I want to see The Others.
What a day I had, friends… what a day…
[sub]Ye GODS, this is long. Sorry. :D[/sub]