I think becomming a monk would give me an excellent excuse for being celibate for my entire life. Also, if I were a monk people might actually listen to what I say. I could spend my days reading and studying many quaint and curious volumes of forgotten lore. Nobody would think me antisocial for keeping to myself. Any eccentricities I might have would be smiled at, but not ridiculed.
The only drawback is the religious part. I’m not sure an atheist monk would be very welcome in a monastery. Therefore, I hereby found the Secular Demure Monastery Brotherhood, or SDMB.
Membership to the SDMB is open to all males of any color, creed, or persuasion, with the exception of any that have had any nookie of any sort in the past month. Any Brothers found to have gotten nookie will be temporarily banished from the SDMB until they have been celibate for one month.
We can spend our time reading, or doing poetry recitals, or perhaps performing plays. Or maybe just sit and contemplate the universe. Anything at all to take our minds off the fact that we can’t get none.
(This thread paid for by BK Has Entirely Too Much Time On His Hands Inc.)