I spun a trifecta of yarns today.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Disclaimer: The following yarns were delivered without intent of malice, and in response to a direct inquiry: “Why the hell would anyone breed a dog like the Chihuahua?” “What’s in jalapeno chicken? Why did Ralph just ask that restaurant if they were serving it today?” I’m an awful, awful liar. I know it’s wrong to spread ignorance on purpose, but I can’t help myself.

Chihuahua is a Mexican fighting dog. Dog-fighting is illegal in Mexico, and for some reason the Mexican authorities have always been very diligent about enforcing this law. The Chihuahua is bred to be vicious & ill-tempered, is hairless & tight-skinned to make it difficult to grip by its opponents, and small so that it is easily concealed—fights are typically held in the basements of private residences which require small, easily controlled animals, and a Chihuahua dog farm can support numerous animals without requiring a suspicious quantity of dog food.

Chihuahua is bred to hunt rats. Obviously. Consider the Dachshund which is designed for hunting in burrows. Chihuahuas have the temperament of a rat and are able to get into most places where rats den.

Jalapeno Chicken. A delicacy not offered in many Mexican restaurants. A custom originating in Durango, Mexico, the chicken is fed exclusively jalapeno peppers during its last month of life. The flavor and heat of the peppers is conveyed to the meat far more uniformly than marinating. This process is considered inhumane in the US, and so the only way to get this meat is to order it from Durango. It’s very expensive and not available every day, even at the restaurants that serve it.
What’s your best effort of spreading misinformation?

2

At a party, I convinced a girl that inhaling nitrous oxide lowers the pitch of the voice, just as inhaling helium raises it. She was amazed. “Really?” she said. “No,” I replied.

3

I have a friend who can instantly come up with an answer that makes sense for any question, yet is still complete bullshit. When Lord of the Rings first came out, his girlfriend asked him why Legolas could walk on top of the snow, when everyone else sank. His answer “Oh, elves have hollow bones.”

Made perfect sense. She told me, I thought it sounded a little fishy, but accepted it. It was over a year later before she told someone else, who exposed the lie.

4

One time I was walking our dogs on this path by our house while my wife was still in bed.

I came home and I told her, "I just came out of the path, and some old dude was standing there and he says to me, ‘enjoying the Pilbee Path?’

I said, ‘oh, is that what’s it called? Why’s it called that?’

He said, ‘Not sure. That’s just what it’s always been called.’

Me, ‘Pilbee? like P-i-l-b-y’

Him, ‘P-i-l-b-e-e’."

I filled in more details, also. Then like an hour later I told her, “you know I just made up that whole story about the old man.”

We’ve called it the Pilbee Path ever since.