Dear David,
Please can you bring my recorder back to me now.
God bless,
Your boss
This is of course exactly what I think. IF there is anything nefarious going on, it is some kind of petty ass bullshit. Maybe a previous contractor spent all day on the phone rather than working or something like that.
If he is recording you, he’s the world’s most inept spy ever…
“Here, I’m leaving this recorder here. Don’t move it. And if you discuss company policies with a competitor, could you speak clearly and slowly? Thanks.”
Y’know, for 7 years I worked for a mom-and-pop company where Mom and Pop were total opposites, without any management experience. But I have got so many great stories from those days. I say hang in there just for the absurdist slice of life observations.
Just be sure you jot 'em down, so you can share them here.
Oh, but given the level of weirdness there, do not post from work. There could be a keylogger or some such on your computer*, or a co-worker who brings up your internet usage “just so they can organize a prayer circle to pray for poor davidm…”
*although, given the tech level of that recorder gambit, it would be more like “Here’s a pad of scratch paper. Could you make a list of all the websites you visit each day? Thanks.”
Unless they have an unusual contract with you, no. It’s not a good fit - office prayer at a non-religious affiliated company, WTF? We’re not in the bible belt here.
No, don’t leave the company. Most workplaces aren’t nearly this entertaining.
Is payday coming up soon?
If you DO post, do it from your phone. Presumably, the Gathering hasn’t gotten to that.
Yet.
Yeah, just leave the recorder alone. It sounds like they are trying to record you. As a test? Ineptly? Both?
In my time as a contract worker, I did have companies do some weird things to makes sure I was actually working on the company dime. Maybe it’s just that.
Of course, if anything else happens, we want to know…
This is some whack shit.
PS. Could you please wear this WWJD bracelet at all times? Pay no attention to the embedded chip.
God bless you always,
Your boss
Equally worrying would be a guy who looked like David Miscavige (or even Tom Cruise). 
Unless I really needed the money, I’d have bailed when the prayer thing happened. They might all be great people, but they aren’t people I want to spend forty hours a week around.
The recorder is just gravy.
God came to me in a vision and told me to quit. Here’s my mailing address for my check. Have a blessed day.
Have they showed you the big facility across town where they grow the pods yet?
Do NOT fall asleep at the office, start eating amphetamines
I temped in the advertising office for a variety of Humane Society off and on for about a year, they were all serious vegans and flipped a fit when I brought in my usual Subway ‘Italian’ with extra meat on the first day I worked there. [nobody warned me they were vegan maniacs] and I think there is nothing quite so annoying as overly preach vegans. I have no problem with religious based dietary rules, or avoiding certain foods because of allergies, or just plain not lliking something [like I dislike bell peppers] but if someone choses to be an omnivore, that os their personal choice.
So I just did things like wraps where the meat was disguised … though I admit the last day I worked there before I started a permanent job I brought a quarter chicken left over from the previous nights dinner … and got this huge lecture about how inhumane chicken battery farms were, and how inhumane slaughterhouses were … then I pointed out that I had raised and slaughtered and cooked the chicken myself, on my farm, and it had been raised in a very comfortable henhouse, free ranged and slaughtered humanely. They got really quiet, because I guess they didn’t feel that a ‘normal’ person would actually raise their own meat …:rolleyes:
So, davidm should construct an altar in the corner of his office. Not one to Satan, that’d be too easy to label provocative. Something more obscure, so that no one will be quite sure if it’s religious. I’m thinking a tiki shrine.
Whadya know? Here’s a thread titled “My tiki shrine at work”!
Or a not-quite-specific buddhist/taoist/kitschy monstrosity, or this “seaside shrine”…
If management decides to give davidm a lovely planter as a gift for his office, there’s no need to be paranoid about it.
‘They’ve killed before, we could be next. Stay shtum till they’re gone and then we can openly mourn our poultry brethren.’
So you didn’t didn’t choke your chicken or beat your meat? 
Hush up all y’all. I want to get the next installment. You’ll scare him away!
A Buddhist, sand garden would be very cool. Definitely could put that on one corner of your desk. Rake it around mysteriously.