…I am going to park my car right in the driveway and block their asses in all goddamn night.
I have bitched about this once before yonks ago. I live on the corner of two relatively busy streets. My driveway is about 40 feet from the intersection. When I get home I have a right turn and then another quick right turn into the drive. Every so often, the person behind me doesn’t realize that I’m turning again and they have to slam their brakes or slip around me on the left (had one rocket surgeon zoom around me on the right while I was a third of the way into the turn, but that’s another Pitting). Every so often I will be entering just as someone else is exiting. Usually, the other driver is not a sub-moronic twatwaffle who understands that it is far safer for him to back up into the parking lot than it is for me to pull back out into the middle of traffic. But more and more recently, scenarios like today happen.
My car is completely out of the street, meaning that it is invisible to traffic that is turning the corner. Some cuntdrip in a busted up old van is at the edge of my building. I didn’t see him until I had already completed my turn. He sits there with an impatient look on his slack-jawed face, expecting me to pull back into the street. Despite the fact that there is an irregular stream of cars, that I can’t see until they are into the intersection, passing behind me. I gesture at the traffic, trying to convey to this waste of his daddy’s orgasm that hey, it is not safe for me to back into a busy street. He returns the identical gesture, leading me to believe that he is perhaps some sort of trained driving ape who lacks the power of speech and thinks that if he matches my gestures he will be rewarded with a food pellet. This goes on for at least 90 seconds until finally, hoping that I don’t get rear-ended, I pull back out into the street. The advertisement for forced sterilization in the van, in which he was probably conceived when his mama scratched her crabs after giving his daddy a handjob, pulls out. I call out the window that perhaps it is not a good idea to expect me to back out into traffic, which is his cue to flip me off, shout obscenities and gun his motor.
You know what fucknut? I live here. I’m already home. I can park my car and leave you sitting in the driveway all goddamn day and all goddamn night. I got nothing to do, my car’s already missing a chunk of its front end and you have no idea how vindictive I can be. So if I see your bloated ass in your rusted out shitmobile again in my driveway, back the fuck up or get set to sit there.
You could have walked over to the other car and explained this to the driver. Much more productive than explaining all this here - there’s nothing we can do to help.
Ah, big metal machine pissing contests. Love those. Narrow streets. Cars parked on one side creating a narrow funnel for traffic going both ways. Who should pull to the side to let traffic flow? Of course, the person with no place to pull over on their side of the road, while the guy going the opposite direction expects person with no place to go to suddenly disappear off the face of the planet and out of his way. Or back up all the way down a narrow street. Yeah, right, you petulant fuck. Must be awfully damn hard to breath with your intestines curling up in your mouth.
There are several things I don’t get about the OP.
Which makes me wonder if they don’t have turn signals where you live, and if you use them. Also, how is someone slipping around the right side of your car, if you are in the lane next to the curb (or next to the parked cars) Unless you drive like an old farmer who pulls all the way left before turning right, I don’t see how passing you on the right is possible.
It wasn’t until you completed your turn that he turned off his cloaking device? How was it that he was invisible?
I am guessing that the guy in the van was driving out, when the OP drove in and prevented him from leaving. Under those conditions, I might have acted the same way, just because you were an idiot to pull into a driveway that was not clear.
If there’s a building or large vehicle blocking the view of the turn, I can see how he might not have seen the van. The van was probably further back and moving at the time as well, and just decided it was a good idea to stop where nobody could get by.
If the driveway is close enough to the intersection, there’s likely no time for the turn signal to turn off, be noticed by other drivers as off, and then turned back on again.
OK. So you’ve pulled in off the street, and someone else is trying to pull out.
He can’t see through you, so you just sit there and look at him, and he just sits there and looks at you.
Now, you’re scared of having to back up into the street, with some justification, as there are moving cars out there that might hit you.
Now, he’s wondering why an overweight dude with a pissy temper is sitting in a busted car blocking him in.
Now, you’re wondering why this asshole won’t accommodate YOU even though he doesn’t know why.
My general rule in situations like these is either to explain myself, or to cede right of way to whoever’s further along in the process.
For example, if I’m barely off the street and he’s already most of the way out, I’ll back out and let him go. Of course, I’m not scared of traffic. If I’m almost all the way into the back and he’s just pulling out, I’d expect him to do the same. Of course, if he doesn’t, I would walk over and explain to him.
But I don’t think I would sit there all passive-aggressive and then tell everyone on the internet how much moreso I intend to be next time.
This is America. The same gene that regulates whether or not you are physically able to use turn signals also determines whether or not you pay any attention.
Anyway, what the hell did Otto did to warrant all this bitchery?
Otto, I don’t know if you are really justified in your rant, or if any of the hindsight comments have any merit, but I loved the rant simply for your use of the phrase “sub-moronic twatwaffle”.
Yes, I must remember that one. Has a nice ring to it.
Anyone else come here thinking Otto was posting an IT rant?
But yeah, sub-moronic twatwaffles, hyper-intelligent vaginalpancakes, and painfully average choochycrumpets plague the roads. Fucking sophomoric scrotumscones!
It’s particular ridiculous, given how easy it is with Time Machine in OS X Leopard. You don’t even have to think about! It just happens automatically every hour as long as you have the drive mounted!
What?
I do use my turn signals. I signal my turn onto my street, the signal clicks off and I immediately signal my turn into my driveway. I am extremely conscientious about using my signals and especially at that intersection because of the potential for danger.
It is entirely possible when they jump the curb and drive on the grass.
The building obstructed my view of his vehicle.
So in other words, thumping your chest and putting another person’s life and property in jeoprady is more important than common courtesy and safety. Good to know.
I think others, and Otto, have already answered, but let me add to the chorus. Living in an urban area, I’ve encountered quite the number of single lane, blind (or obstructed) view driveways. He won’t see someone pulling in until they are in the driveway, and you won’t see someone pulling out until you are in the driveway. It’s fairly common when you have apartments with small parking lots in the rear, put there as an afterthought.
As for signals, I think most people naturally assume you are signaling for an intersection. I have street parking by my house; I’ll slow to a crawl and signal for a spot to parallel park into, yet all too often some knucklehead will be riding my bumper.
I’ve read enough of Otto’s posts to know that he’s not a moron. If he says he didn’t see the other vehicle, I’m going to go ahead and assume that his sight was obstructed.
Having said that, it sounds like the real problem is the environment. If this is happening again and again, then the arrangement of the streets and driveway is not conducive to traffic flow.
Probably 99 times out of 100 (if not more) there’s no problem getting in or out of the driveway because there isn’t another car trying to enter or exit at exactly the same time. There’s even a second driveway entrance closer to the intersection which, if I spot a vehicle blocking the other entrance, I can duck into. It’s only on those rare instances where the turn into the driveway from the street coincides with the turn into the driveway from around the back of the building that this is a problem. And it’s a problem that most people understand is best alleviated by reversing into the lot rather than expecting a car to back out into the traffic pattern.