Sure, except that driving brings out people’s inner douchebag like almost nothing else. Even otherwise considerate people can turn into selfish pricks when they drive, unable to bear the tiniest inconvenience or delay.
Case in point: my dad is in a wheelchair. Once, while I was home visiting, we all went out to a movie. When the movie let out, the whole theater streamed down a nearby hallway to a dedicated exit. We followed, only to discover a couple of steps right before the door. We had to do an about face and try to surge upstream against a crowd of people all trying to leave the theater at once. Without even asking, everyone stopped and pressed themselves against the wall so we could get out. A few became improptu traffic cops, directing people further up the hallway to hold off entering until we were out. It was incredibly considerate, and people did it without thinking. I left the theater touched by the general goodness of humanity.
Two minutes later, we’re in the parking lot. The handicapped spaces are right in front of the theater, where most of the parking lot has to drive past to reach the exit. Everyone is leaving at once, so traffic is dense. There’s a line of cars behind us bumper to bumper, and no one will let us back out. We would edge slightly out of the space, to indicate we were trying to leave and people would rush to block the hole so we couldn’t. Having to wait one extra car length was an inconceivable burden for these same people who so graciously waited so we could get out of the theater. After 15-20 minutes, I finally got out and blocked traffic with my body so my mother could back the van out. Heated words were exchanged with the drivers who had to wait 30 seconds. I left the parking lot thinking that people as a whole were selfish douchebags.
These were the exact same people in both cases. The anonymity of cars really makes people more, well, Republican for lack of a better word. (“If you’re in a bad situation, it’s you’re own fault so don’t expect any help from me.”)
But they really weren’t the exact same situations. In one, they were touched by the sight of a handicapped human being. In the other, it was just car vs car. There was far less humanity in the latter situation. Also, since it was all cars, your father was no longer at a disadvantage. The playing field had been levelled.
They still could have stopped acting like dicks, though.
True, although it was a wheelchair van backing out of a handicapped space, so you’d think people who felt compelled to help the disabled in person would have been less eager to box us out.
But yeah, it’s not like I expected people to let us out. I drive all the time, in California, and am so used to people driving like selfish bastards that I don’t even notice it most of the time. It was more that I was struck by the contrast between people’s behavior face to face compared with behind the wheel. I’m so used to assuming that jerkish driving behavior is mostly caused by a subset of jerkish people that seeing the same group behave so differently in the different circumstances struck me as interesting.
Print yourself up a couple of signs, large lettering, on cardboard, and keep them under the passenger’s seat of your vehicle.
“Cannot back out into oncoming traffic.
Please yield.”
Second sign should read;
“Hey, I got all day (with smiley face)!”
On the reverse it should read, “Thank you very much!”
You should hold up the first sign with a simpleton grin and shrug. (Ignore any of their hand signals and just keep shrugging like you don’t understand.)
And never forget to use the thanks sign, always include a big smile and wave of thanks, even if they’re flipping you off.
I bet it would work. Never exhibit any anger or snark or engage in conversation. Happy go lucky simpletonish, “Oh well”, shrugging should be the order of the day. Your neighbours won’t end up hating you, and I bet they yield to you whenever they see you. Of course they may think you’re a simpleton but so what?
We’re gonna need twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy photographs with circles
and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what each
one was.
Oh right, you think I’m gonna let you lot know what corner I live on? You’ll be over here at all hours, borrowing cups of sugar, asking to crash on my couch, running up my long distance bill…
It built up and traffic soared. The way people drive is horrendous. In one neighborhood at 4 different stop signs, people ran the sign just before I was about to go through the intersection and my road didn’t have stop signs. The subdivisions are a twisted mess of roads too. I suppose you still think of Hwy 12 to Sauk City as a nice drive. On second thought probably not because that stopped being a nice drive by the mid 80’s.
Damned if I can remember where, but I once read the theory that this might be due to the lack of eye contact + body language involved in car encounters.
Apparently when we approach other people on the sidewalk or wherever there is a subtle exchange of signals which help both sides negotiate passage. Drivers don’t have that subtle communication and subconsciously mistake that lack of communication for hostility.
To get into my driveway (which I don’t share with anyone, thank Og) I make a left and then another quick left. If you leave your signal on for both people assume you forgot to turn it off. If you turn it off after the first left, you have to turn it back on immediately for the second left, and the same problem. Luckily my street isn’t very busy, and the problem described by the OP happened only once.
For Otto: I suggest you move to a place that can afford a driveway big enough for two cars at once.
Yep. The OP confirms it: I really don’t think in pictures. I can’t quite grasp what the problem is. Is it a very narrow dual-purpose exit/entrance so small only one car can fit into it, not two abreast so they could simutaniously pull in and out? If so, who the hell designed it? Something like that ought to be one way.
No real opinion about the OP, other than not realizing traffic was so bad up in Madison. I obviously don’t know the intersection, but I wonder if there might be any steps Otto might be able to take to minimize the frequency of such events. For example, using the other driveway.
I might be somewhat of a clueless driver, but I’m not entirely sure that if I were exiting a parking lot and someone pulled in, that it would necessarily be I who should back up and make way. Especially if I were a visitor to the building, I might not know the dynamic. And if I knew there was a 2d driveway, I could imagine wondering “Why did this jerk decide to pull into the driveway I’m using?”
I can imagine it crossing my mind that the other guy should not have pulled in if he didn’t know the drive was clear. Tho he says the building blocked the view, maybe if he had pulled in slower he might have gotten a better view. I’m having a hard time imagining the impossibility of remaining on the street, in the right lane, with your turn signal on, waiting to make your turn when the driveway clears. Someone behind you wants to honk. Fuck 'em. That’s their problem. Works in Chicago. I’d be surprised to find it could not work in a metropolis the size of Madison.
Re: Giraffe’s parking lot, I guess I’m unsure of that one too. If I have already pulled out of my space and am lined up to exit the lot, do you believe I am necessarily required to wait and let in any and all cars that were parked closer to the exit? Only those in the hcp spaces?
I can easily imagine that if I am in a crowded lot, and it has already taken time to get where I’m at, I might not really feel like making my exit take longer just to convenience someone else. If they wanted to exit the lot faster, than they damned well shoulda gotten to their car earlier.
My understanding is that a hcp person benefits from the closer space to ease travel in and out of the building. If they wanted to also let them out of the lot faster than everyone else, I can imagine they could configure them differently for that purpose. But just because your condition causes you to need special consideration in one aspect of your life, doesn’t mean you get a break on every other social transaction.
