I swiftly herewith consign to the pit, the ignorant clowns who misconstrue "its"

Specifically, those who don’t understand the difference between “it’s” and “its” and use them interchangeably.

Lynne Truss wants such people to be killed by lightning and then buried in unmarked graves. I think that’s too good for them. I propose that they be rounded up and sent to a remote Canadian island currently only inhabited by rabid polar bears.

I feel a visceral rage whenever I see a sign proclaiming, “Its our going-out-of-business sale!” or “The best in it’s class!” The only reason I’m not in prison is that I kill the offenders very discreetly.

Is anyone else moved to a state of homicidal fury by bad spelling and grammar, from individuals who during their four years in third grade, should have learned better?

Generic agreement, extended to all apostrophe abuses.

My commute used to take me past a store with a big sign that said “Drug’s.” I can’t tell you how many times I wished for the courage to spray-paint it out some lonely night.

Florists who offer “Bokays”.

What. The. Hell.

You burn they’re dog?

Remind me never to send you to the grocer’s.

Yes. I would be a real danger to the grocers who work at the grocer’s. Especially the ones who write the signs saying “WATERMELON’S $5”; I would feel insulted that they thought that I would just take the five bucks without first ascertaining if it belonged to the watermelon.

Hey, at least it doesn’t say “Apple’s .89¢ each.”

A few days ago, during a late night session of Starcraft II, I typed out “you’re” when grammar actually called for “your” and my friend pointed it out. I blamed it on me being tired and distracted by the game, but I hereby submit myself for ridicule and the appropriate punishment.

While I understand the difference and take care to use appropriately, my desire to heap opprobrium upon those who do not reduced markedly when I noticed that it’s a really easy mistake to make if you’re not being careful, or if you haven’t slept at night.

Oh, it’s even worse than you know.

Also, people who misuse quotation marks in bizarre and laughable ways:

:dubious: So…not actually so “fresh”, then?

And restaurants claiming to have homemade pies! What the hell do we do about them?

I don’t think we can bring the Grammar Hammer down on them, though, as most restaurants are indeed home to hundreds if not thousands of cockroaches.

Ahhh yes, the quotation mark as highlighter routine. My mother does this, in birthday cards. I know she’s just trying to accentuate the words but

just doesn’t play out quite right when I read it.

The one that winds me up is using ‘breaks’ for ‘brakes’.

I work in captions and subtitles. You have NO idea how many times I’ve had to type the word “funner” in recent days. When I do, that’s exactly how it looks on screen, with quotes around it, so people know, yes, that’s REALLY the fucking, dumbshit word the actor uttered. Not a real word. Most likely it will be a word in a month or so. Just like “till.” I can’t get used to someone saying, “I’ll be here 'til Monday,” and having it spelled as “till.” That is now acceptable. Laziness abound. How hard is it to make an apostrophe with a computer?


Also, the “two”, “too”, and “to” is always a problem. Admittedly, I’ll make mistakes with that. I’ll also admit making mistakes with “our” and “are”.

Hey, I’ve got deadlines. Unfortunately, QC is a thing of the past.

I’m typically simply appaled. That would be on French-speaking boards, since I usually don’t notice spelling and grammar mistakes in English, and even when I do (like in your its/it’s example), I’m certainly not proficient enough in English to correct someone else.

However, I thought recently that it might be one of the reasons why I keep hanging out on English-speaking boards rather than on French speaking ones. I often leave a French board after reading the first page because I feel like I’m dealing with a collection of illiterate idiots (they probably aren’t really idiots, but having every other word grossly misspelt certainly gives this impression). On English boards, I don’t notice so I feel like like I’m talking with intelligent people.

At least they’re not “HO-MADE” pies, although that might be more accurate.

I once saw a mention of a Spanish-language message board where SMS-Spanish (semesero) is not accepted and proper grammar and spelling are required: it’s ok to use dialectal variations, it is not ok to spell queso as “keso”, much less cultura as “kultura” (it isn’t even shorter, just dumber!). It was in an article about how texting and IM are changing language.

Sadly I couldn’t write the address down and I never found the reference again… :frowning:

l33tspeak I tolerate badly; semesero makes me want to gouge eyes out.

I think what the OP meant to write is:

I “swiftly” herewith consign to the pit’s,
The ignorant clown’s who misconstrue “it’s.”

Lets see some “genuine” rhyme’s here, not this slant rhyme that was in the OP. I mean, if your gonna write in a nice poetic “meter” with poeticle feet’s, do it rite, amiwrite?