I think I have depression

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

I, too, will echo the “get thee to your doctor” chorus. When I did that, he sent me to the clinic’s psychologist for an evaluation. After that, we decided that I would give an SSRI a try. The stated goal for my case was to use it relatively short-term (9-18 months) and then remove it to see what progress I’d made.

Well, it turns out the psychologist was an utter yutz. He wasn’t helping at all. Don’t be afraid to say it’s not working and that you’d rather see someone else. There can be a good or bad “fit” between counselor and patient, and a bad fit won’t do you any good. I ended up not seeing anyone else because there was no one else covered by my health plan (not the wisest choice, but I did it).

The meds, combined with a good deal of soul-searching, got me through the worst of it. Your case may be different. As many others here have pointed out, the cause can differ dramatically from person to person. There may even be multiple causes – for example, a tendency toward depression which may be physiological, coupled with a difficult event in your life.

I disliked my meds a lot – they removed the emotional peaks as well as the valleys, and the withdrawal symptoms when I stopped were no fun, even though I was scrupulous about following my doctor’s orders. But even though I disliked them, they provided a temporary prop which helped get me through. Read up on any meds you take before you start them, so that you know about likely side effects and withdrawal symptoms. Take an active role in your own care (which is not easy when you’re depressed).

Email me any time if you want to chat, or even just vent. It’s in my profile.

{{{Kythereia}}}

22

I agree, it is much better to err on the side of “it’s a disease” than “it’s a character flaw.” Especially when the condition typically causes people to be really hard on themselves, feel undue guilt and hopelessness, and often extreme anxiety. Whatever’s wrong, if we want people to get help, it’s best to remove any whiff of moral judgement about depression.

23

I don’t have any advice, just lots of big hugs.

{{{Kytheria}}}

24

Start exercise. Long walks, swimming or bicycling help a lot. I* know.

Increase the light levels in your home. There’s this thing called Seasonal Affective Disorder that causes depression in the dim light of the Winter months. So, buy some bright screw-in fluorescent bulbs, in the higher lumin range, & this will often help.

Medical help is a must. Get it.

25

I’ll throw in my two cents too, I suppose.

I too struggle with many many symptoms of depression, to varying degrees at varying times.

Being one of the uninsured, when things got particularly bad last year I was unable to afford going to the doctor (did I mention I was unemployed as well?). I was able to go to three sessions with a counselor through my mom’s employee assistance program (they bent some rules, as technically I’m not a dependant of her any more).

We only had three sessions covered, and so the goal was pretty short term; get a sense of where I was and refer me if needed, and maybe help a bit too. Definitely talking about things that had been weighing on my mind was helpful, and as a trained professional with whom I felt comfortable (I have spoken with some therapists with whom I didn’t really mesh), he helped me to ask good questions of myself.

Also, he talked a bit about different causes for depressive feelings. Aside from external pressures (family issues, relationship issues, etc etc), he also mentioned diet and exercise. That was one aspect that I felt like I could have control over. I started taking vitamin suplaments (particularly B vitamins, on his suggestion), and making a strong effort to get just some basic exercise.

It wasn’t the only thing that helped me break out of the year-long funk I’d been in, but it certainly played a part.

I still struggle with some of the same things, but I feel much more in control of my responses to life.

Anyway, I hope the best for you, and hopefully you’ll find a way that works for you.

26

Get a pet- preferably a cuddly one. Having something to take care of and that will cuddle with you can help get you through the harder days.

As you are learning, this journey is different for everyone. Try your best to get out, stay physical and keep in touch with your friends. Don’t worry about what you are “screwing up” or “missing out on” quite yet- there will be a day when you can get that all back, but it’s not what you need to worry about right now. Your job right now is to focus on getting through each day, not completely losing your job or flunking school, and finding the small things that make you happy.

27

Two things.

  1. Get your thyroid levels checked. Low or borderline thyroid might be contributing. If I’m off my thyroid meds for a while, I get into a funk and it makes my lows that much lower.

  2. I’ve got Seasonal Affective Disorder. If this is a truly cylical depression for you, look into treatment for SAD. A good doc will ask you all kinds of questions to narrow down your symptoms, etc.

Good luck.

28

Excellent advice from FilmGeek on the thyroid levels check.

29

I don’t think you mentioned how long you’ve been feeling this way. Generally speaking, if it’s not debilitating (affecting relationships, jobs, or general productivity) for a signigicant length of time, it’s probably *the blues * and not real depression.

Significant length of time? I’ve heard it said that two weeks is significant. I don’t agree with that. I can be in a legitimate funk that lasts longer than that and not consider it “depression.”

I’m of the belief that depression is diagnosed way too quickly and without much investigation. However, I can almost guarantee a doctor will prescribe drugs without much more investigation than a short statement from you claiming you think you’re depressed. Just my experience.

30

I’d like to emphasize the point that a trained psychologist or psychiatrist is going to be much more helpful for you. Everyone I know who just had their regular doctor prescribe antidepressants has dealt with a lot of bullshit before finally getting a referral to a professional and actually getting help. I’d strongly recommend going to your doctor, describing the problem and then asking for a referral to see a specialist. Don’t let the doctor just pawn off on you whatever meds the sales rep gave them. (Of course if your insurance is crap you may not have a choice, but if you can, see a professional.) and I agree that therapy is an important part of treatment. Mymeds may help me with my mood disorder, but it’s therapy that is helping me sort through all the stuff in my head that is exacerbating the problem.

31

Figuring it out means you’re halfway there. I wish you all the best in finding the best path to remission. It’s not something I’ve suffered, but I’ve seen it up close, and I know how hard it can be just to get to where you are you now. So well done, and good luck.

32

I came in here to make a point about this. My mum was mis-diagnosed with depression, when she really had a thyroid problem. She’d go to her doctor, complain about tiredness and loss of appetite and all of a sudden dropping 10 pounds and not being able to fall alseep but then being exhausted and so on, and within 10 minutes the doctor was ready to write her a prescription for Paxil. But my mum was so sure that it wasn’t depression, she (luckily) went to another doctor who properly diagnosed her.

Also, when you do go see your doctor, try not to be influenced by what you read. I think almost all of us are prone to that sort of thing where you think you may have something, and then you check the symptoms out, and without meaning to, you convince yourself you have all of them - even things you didn’t think of before (“Has your appetite changed?” leads to “Well, yes, I mean, I guess my appetite has changed” leads to “Doc, my appetite has totally changed”). So just be careful of that.

Wishing you luck, and do see a doctor soon!

33

Maybe this is a difference in Canada, but I’ve twice seen psychiatrists regarding depression/anxiety and neither have prescribed me anti-depressants, even after a length of time, much less as a first-line measure.

34

I don’t really have anything constructive to add. I just want to let you know that I’ve struggled with depression since childhood, and I finally (in the last year or so, since a change in meds) have found what works for me - don’t give up until you find what works for you. I wish you the best, and you are welcome to email me (see profile) if you’d like to ask me about my experiences in detail, or just use me as a sounding board. One can’t get “too much” support.

35

Kytheria, just here to wish you the best. I’m not going to add more advice on top of everything else in this thread. If you want to talk to someone with similar problems, you’ve got my email.

{{Kytheria}}

36

Kytheria, having been there, don’t get discouraged. And don’t listen to people who tell you “it’s just the blues, you’re selfish for getting treatment.” THEY are not the ones who have to live with it.

37

I know several people, including myself, who were “depressed” and given only anti-depressants, which can throw you into a wicked mania if you are bipolar. Ask a lot of questions. Do your research. Get more than one opinion. Be careful when it comes to meds. I found talk therapy helpful for a few years but lapsed after that. I see my psychiatrist every 3 months because I am med sensitive and often have horrific side effects, in which case I see him right away. Trust your body and instincts. Very best of luck to you, this is a tough one to deal with.

38

Or maybe they took their own lives as a result of the horrors of the depression they were receiving treatment for. That always made more sense to me and I have survived depression for over forty years.

How has it been determined what most feminists think?

39

I am replying again because I am concerned - have you talked to a doctor? Or do you have a good friend to turn to? Getting outside is good - even if it is a walk on a gloomy day so you can appreciate that “Mother Nature” has her moods too. I would really like to hear from you and know that you are doing better, or at least taking steps in that direction.
[hijack]
My freshman year in college I went through a LOT of changes. I decided to go to the local mental health clinic because I was so sad. I shouldn’t be sad, I thought, I’m in the prime of my life! So off I went.
Four years later I am doing my social work internship in the same mental health clinic. I was able to find my file - they can’t be discarded for (?) years and mine was in the “disused” section. The counselor I had spoken with was very wonderful to me - she mostly let me vent, gave some logical advice, and never recommended meds. What had she written in my file the 4 visits I made?

 "Going through normal adjustment to an adult lifestyle that has been retarded by attendance at a private school where she had no control over her life."
40

Valid question, and sloppy posting on my part. Rephrase: I read feminist theorists addictively, and my general impression is that it approaches consensus among those I’ve read that it is social / political, not biological, that women especially are the folks diagnosed as depressed.

Or maybe they took their own lives to escape from the horrors of involuntary psychiatric treatment that they could not extract themselves from.

Yes, treatments are imposed on psychiatric patients without their consent. In the case of depression, in today’s [del]market[/del] enlightened psychiatric consumerism, that’s rare as long as you are the one to seek treatment on your own behalf, because the pharmaceuticals are best [del]marketed [/del] deployed to optimum efficacy when a majority of people are voluntary consumers thereof.

But the professionals of the field still retain that coercive authority, and as an Officially Designated Mental Patient you are still by tradition and/or statute considered to be under the care of your doctor who is conventionally assumed to be better able to determine your best medical interests than you are.

Don’t ever, even for a moment, kid yourself. You voluntarily play with psychiatry, you surrender a significant portion of your self-determination. It is assumed. Precedent exists. The professionals you deal with have official powers to designate you as “mentally ill and a danger to her/his self” or (depending on venue) “mentally ill and gravely at risk and in need of treatment”.

By law and accepted practice, they don’t need to prove, demonstrate, or in any way substantiate these categories once they’ve decided that they apply to you. First round to them. You are in their care and cannot leave. You do get a hearing. If you are unlucky, the shrink plays golf with the judge (or otherwise has a close and trustworthy-companionable relationship with the judge). If you are unlucky, the judge has a general attitude that if the shrink says you’re nuts and need treatment, hey, the shrink is a professional and you’re a designated nut! If you are lucky, the judge looks at the merits of the case and ignores the fact that you are escorted into court in hospital pajamas and perhaps never-before-used-on-you straitjacket or other restraints (hey, we have to protect the judge and court officers Just In Case, don’t we?). The hearing will usually occur on hospital grounds; the judge will know in advance that every case will be pertaining to a mental patient being involuntarily detained.

Oh, and they can release you to the community on the “condition” that you “voluntarily” take your meds. Outpatient commitment. If you differ with your shrink’s opinion, if you refuse your prescribed meds, they can lock you up for noncompliance.

Meanwhile, to the OP: There is a lot wrong. Mostly, it isn’t you. It isn’t a failure on your part. Not of your soul. Not of your capacity to live. Not of your neurons. Not of your upbringing, at least not in any way that your local family can be indicted for. Not of your chromosomes.

OK, I could be wrong on any of those, but I’m not likely to be. Society victimizes some people. And, once wounded, you are bleeding bait for ths sharks, both the kind that say they are sharks and the kind that say they are human-loving dolphins who are only here to escort you to shore (please ignore the long teeth).

Things are not as they should be. We, by nature, crave dependability, and a sense of belonging, and a place in the social world that makes sense to us and to people who percieve use. We don’t have that right now to offer.

Ever hear that alleged Chinese curse — “may you live in interesting times” ?? We live in interesting times, and we’d like rocksolid conservative values but we aint’ got 'em. What we’ve got is fear of people with problems like you. Because the rest of us are a gnat’s eyelash from the same state of being. Yeah. There’s a whole lot of “glad I’m not you” embedded in any diagnosis you’re gonna get.

Get pissed off. IT ISN’T YOUR FAULT. YOU AREN’T EVEN SICK. PROBLEM ISN’T IN YOU. YOU’RE OK. WORLD ISN’T. YOUR REACTION TO IT IS HEALTHY AND UNDERSTANDABLE.

You’re not alone.