It was when I was tearing open the package. I tried to be careful. But when the foil finally ripped, it gave way suddenly and serendipitously. In my startled reaction, I slung the little foil bag into the sink, and went into convulsive spasms as I groped in panicked desparation for some hand soap and a towel.
I can’t be sure, but I think I felt a sort of tiny little splash — well, more like being touched by a feather, nothing even measurable, really — but definately discernable. I think at least a few molecules of the cat food might have touched my hand, just between the thumb and forefinger.
I have scrubbed my hands with sandpaper, and have soaked them for an hour in Clorox. Is there anything more that I can do?
No, you have to let the cat actually lick your face. The abrasive toungue barbs cause micro tears in the skin where the toxic kitty enzymes combine with human protiens and allow the naonoprobes to attach. Now if you really want to freak out grandma let kitty have some of your ice cream while you’re still eating.
Ah come on Lib…it’s a wonderful smelling food isn’t it?
Hey I get the dog over to clean the cat food off my hands, his mouth is cleaner than the kitties.
I just make sure to eat my dinner first so as not to offend my stomach with the kitty food…you’d think they’d make it smell better, sheesh dog food doesn’t smell like rotten fish, but then again I hate fish…come to think of it, even the turkey and beef cat food smells like rotten fish…why is that?
I’m sorry to tell you this, Lib ,but the truth must come out. Now you will slowly, day by day, become more and more aroused by the smell of wet cat food. No, there’s no cure. I know, I keep looking for one. And we won’t even mention the nanoprobes…
didja ever get up in the morning, walk into the kitchen barefoot, an’ step on the innards of some formerly living little critter the cat caught the night before?
Sorta squishes up thru yer toes (and before 'ya even had yer coffee…)
First thing I noticed when I woke up was that I couldn’t focus quite right. But after a shower, that cleared up. Since then, I’ve felt a coupla brief bouts of nausea. That’s about it so far.
But that cat keeps looking at me weird. No expression. Just staring.
You know, I’m sure, that your cat now views you as prey. It’ll toy with you for awhile, then, when you’re sleeping, it will sit on your chest and steal your breath!
