I Think I Need Psychological Help

In My Humble Opinion
21

Just a couple of caveats, Slurm Factory.

I know you said you wanted success stories to brighten you up, but when all you hear about are the successes, it can be easy to become discouraged and blame yourself or others when you hit normal road bumps.

First of all, the advice you’ve gotten here is excellent. Depression, if that’s what you have, is highly treatable, and you can get very good or even excellent psychological care at little or no cost in most parts of the country. That’s the good news, and it is very good indeed.

Now for the potentially not-so-good news. First, “highly treatable” doesn’t mean a 100% success rate, and it doesn’t mean success comes quickly or easily in every case. It can take a lot of trial and error to find a therapist you like and who works well with you. Every time you switch therapists, you’re essentially starting therapy over, and it can be very frustrating. Don’t give up if you don’t find someone you like right away, or even after several long tries. It can be hard to know when to give up on a therapist you aren’t sure about. Listen to your gut, but don’t make snap decisions. Give it time.

Therapy isn’t easy, and even when therapy is working, you won’t necessarily feel better. You may have to change old habits, learn new skills, dwell on some unpleasant history, or challenge deeply held beliefs. In some cases, therapy is effective in a relatively short period of time, but very often it takes a long time to make the changes you need to make.

Much the same applies to medicine. We don’t know nearly as much about the causes of mental illness as doctors like to think. Medication and, indeed, diagnosis are largely based on trial and error. Medications seem to have remarkable effects on some people, but others respond differently or not at all. It can take a lot of experimenting to find something that seems to work.

And some people don’t respond to treatment. I have been diagnosed with depression of some form since I was five years old. It has gone into remission lots of times, sometimes for years, and has come back just as often. Sometimes treatment seems to help, sometimes it doesn’t. I haven’t given up hope, and neither should you, no matter what.

Secondly, treatment horror stories are rare, but they do happen. Read up on your symptoms and whatever diagnosis is associated with them. Learn about the different forms of treatment. Find someone you trust, preferably a close family member, who you know will honor your wishes and your best interests and let them know what your symptoms are and what decisions you make about treatment. It is extraordinarily unlikely, based on what you’ve told us, that any situation would arise in which someone else would need to fight or advocate on your behalf, but it never hurts to have someone else know your situation. (After all, if you were going to have minor surgery, you’d let someone know about it.)

Good luck, and don’t be afraid to ask for more advice and experiences. You aren’t alone, not by a long shot.

22

I don’t usually quote an almost entire post, but I have a masters in Psychology and everything **Alan Smithee ** says here is very, very good advice that bears repeating.

Finding a therapist is a lot like finding a friend. Even although many people are decent, helpful folks, that doesn’t mean you will feel at ease to confide in everyone you meet. It isn’t easy to find someone that listens to you in the right way for you, and then say the things you need to hear.
Therapists are, of course, trained to be far better listeners and helpers then most decent, helpful folks. So the chance of connecting is much, much bigger. But it still takes a bit of trial and error. Your perfect therapist might be another guys mismatch, and the therapist recommended to you by a friend might be just not your type.

So, on a more practical note, expect to talk to at least 3 therapists before you “click” with one. A very practical way is to look up a few in the yellow pages and talk with them on the phone a few minutes while explaining your situation and asking them what sort of therapy they provide. Do they subscribe medicine? How much and how do they charge? Etcetera. The important thing (besides getting some practical information) is determining if you feel a “click” with that person. Is it easy to talk to him/her? Do you get a bit of positive energy from that talk? Does the talk make you feel a little bit better about yourself? Do you feel understood, accepted? If the answer to these questions is “no”, then thank them for their time and move on.

A bit more about what psychotherapy is and isn’t can be found here.

23

I suspect part of that is due to the stigma that still exists in this country toward people who may have mental-health issues. :frowning: There’s an impression that if you can’t just “suck it up” and deal with your problems, you’re weak or have some kind of character flaw. If you had to have bypass surgery, your supervisor at work wouldn’t think twice about giving you the time off. But if you need to get your brain-dysfunction straightened out, somehow it’s something to be ashamed of. It’s sad to think how many people just live with the pain because they’re afraid of what people will think if they acknowledge it. This may not apply to you; I’m not saying it does - but it has been a factor with me. [steps off soapbox]

On the “success story” front…I’m bipolar, which used to be called manic-depressive. I’ve had it since my teens, but was diagnosed when I was 27. Actually, it was a MIS-diagnosis of atypical depression; I got the correct diagnosis of bipolar at age 42 (a year and a half ago). This is not unusual - psychiatry is not an exact science. I have found that the right combinations and dosages of medicines have improved my life tremendously, but this has been a sometimes-frustrating trial-and-error process.

All I can say is, listen to the posters above, and find somewhere to get help. I’d tend to go with the crisis-hotline option - when I worked for one (doing office-work), a lot of their job was “information and referral,” helping people find the help they need in their area.

Take care, okay? Please let us know how it works out. I really do understand how you feel, as do a lot of others of us here.

24

Slurm Factory, bravo to you for putting your thoughts and feelings into words. Yes, therapy is an excellent choice for the problems you describe. And of course you don’t want to go - nobody does (well, some people REALLY REALLY want to go, but that’s another problem). You don’t want to change; in fact, you’re afraid of change. That is so perfectly normal.

In fact, Sheldon Kopp says in If You Meet the Buddha in the Road, Kill Him that what psychotherapy patients really want is to learn to be better neurotics, not to stop being neurotic. Now, I don’t know if you’re neurotic, psychotic or hypnotic, but you’re in good company. You might really like Kopp’s book, it’s all about the journey of entering therapy - it was recommended to me by a wonderful psychologist who helped me greatly.

Try a therapist at a community clinic, try it for 3 or 4 sessions, and if you don’t get a sense that you’re “clicking” and starting to make progress, try someone else. Getting “well” is a lifelong journey that may take years & years, BUT you deserve allies along the way - your therapist should feel like an ally from early on.

Some therapists talk more, some talk less, and some will read you better than others. It depends on who they are and what their life experience is. If you want to improve your odds, look for an older therapist, someone who’s been doing it for 20 years or more. Ask about his/her interests and struggles – if you share a passion or have had some of the same problems, you might hit it off better (kind of like how the best addiction therapists are former addicts).

Some will recommend lots of books, particular activities, a specific philosophy of life, or approach to problems. All of this CAN be helpful to your journey - but if it ISN’T, you are always free to reject it and move on. You are always free to leave.

You’ll get more from the process if you bring an open mind and heart, and are willing to “work hard”. Working hard means being honest with your therapist and with yourself, examining your life choices, taking responsibility, challenging your beliefs, trying new things.

FWIW, I was absolutely terrified of therapy. We went as a family a few times, when I was 14 and had a breakdown; my parents were like “hmmm, not MY problem” and that was that. I needed it in college, but didn’t know how to ask and was terrified of letting someone else into my head. It was already too crowded in there with my parents’ presence. It wasn’t until I was 25 and my Mom started trying to kill herself that my boss pulled out an EAP card and said “Go!”. The first therapist was meh, the second one kind of poor (guy kept YAWNING, honestly YAWNING). My third therapist, a few years later, absolutely brilliant. He has a very special place in my heart.

Best wishes and good luck with your journey!

25

Well sunshine.
You need to look into Schadenfreude, find a few people who are more f/cked up than you, or materially worse off - and you will feel a lot better.

Like most things - it will pass

26

I’ve also had meds prescribed by an ARNP (nurse practitioner) who had the background to do it.

I don’t think that word means what you think it means. And I don’t think this post represents the general understanding of depression. Yes, sometimes it is situational and can get better but it can also be chronic and you don’t just “snap out of it”. And whether or not it would help, part of depression is not being able to see beyond the pain.

27

You’re getting good advice from everyone here.

I’ll second the recommendation for Sheldon Kopp’s If You Meet the Buddha in the Road. t gave me a lot of comfort when I read it, though it’s been a while since I read it. I recall that it is a guided collection of stories of how people have overcome where they were at.

I would also strongly recommend M. Scott Peck’s The Road Less Traveled. Peck’s approach may be a little heady and may raise more questions than it answers at this point, but it does give a good overview of what a lot of people face. The best thing that it may have for you is that the last chapter gives advice on where and how to find a counselor, including the most important advice: don’t give up.

Finally, antidepressants are easy to get. I could afford a psychiatrist when I started but ones that I was referred to had months-long waiting lists. I finally went to a clinic, paid twenty bucks for a visit and left with a presciption for Zoloft. Many of the first generation SSRIs (modern antidepressants) are now available as generics at a fraction of the cost.

28

It would seem that you are mistaken, at least in certain States.

http://www.twincities.com/mld/twincities/business/16164599.htm

29

Interesting. I work in a counseling center and my husband is a therapist and I hadn’t heard about that. I’ll have to ask the consulting psychiatrist about it when she comes in. Perhaps we are one of the certain states where it is not possible. Perhaps lots of the antidepressants, etc. our clients take aren’t available generically. We don’t prescribe here.

30

Hi, Slurm Factory. One thing to keep in mind, what MY therapist told me when I was first diagnosed with anxiety and depression is to not get too panicky about the future, and to keep things focused on the immediate. I know that “one day at a time” saying sounds really corny, but it’s also true. Stay focused on what you’re going to do today, and try not to worry too much about what’s going to becoming up.

Also, if there’s anything that helps you keep distracted, like a certain movie, or books, or video games, stick with it. With me, as silly as this sounds, it was Star Wars novels. But whatever works.

Good luck finding a therapist. I was lucky-the second one I went to, (a licensed social worker) was great, and she reccomended my psychiatrist for any medical needs (I was diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder). When you find the right one, things WILL get better.

And hang in there-you aren’t alone.