I think I'm changing

Of all the things I’ve learned here at Straight Dope, maybe the most important is this: shit just doesn’t matter all that much.

I think I’m still quite passionate and blustery, but I’m feeling that changing within myself. I just don’t care anymore like I used to about whether I “win” an argument in Great Debates. Instead, I now just enjoy reading and contributing and trying a sort of walk-in-their-shoes empathy to see if I can understand a point.

Yeah, I still debate. And no, I don’t phone it in by any means. But I don’t get pissed off anymore.

One recent example was a debate in which Spiritus stopped me dead in my tracks with a compelling tableau that clearly indicated to me that I needed to re-evaluate what I was thinking. My reaction surprised me. I wasn’t horrified; I was delighted! Here was a new way to consider something that had been a stumbling block to me.

Also recently, I was in a debate about ethics, and although I made my arguments as convincingly as possible, I wasn’t angry when Hamlet didn’t agree. Right now, I’m engaged in a debate about economics (it’s about science, actually), and even though a very authoritative economist (Hawthorne) came into the thread basically to tell me that I didn’t know squat, I was not upset. I shrugged, and agreed no longer to speak of the thing using the sacred term.

When somebody makes a good point now, I just admit my error, indiscretion, ignorance, or whatever and go on. Before, every post was an Iwo Jima to me.

Pit threads don’t bother me any more. In fact, I recently invited someone to open one. Euty made some sort of remark about how he hates parodies or something, and I just shrugged and said, yeah, me too, I’m sick of them. And frankly, if I write another one and someone doesn’t like it, I’ll just move on to something else.

Yesterday, I opened an IMHO thread. I don’t think it was my first, but it was the first since I opened one desperately seeking data to bolster the point I was making in a debate. But my new thread was just asking people how they cut their steaks.

There’s a molehill hijack/argument going on about libertarianism in a Pit thread right now, and someone spoke of Libertopia. Not only did I not rant, rave, and explode, I even responded using the same word!

And lately, I’ve participated more and more in this forum where I’m learning a lot about people I didn’t know about when I stayed almost exclusively in GD.

I realize this might not seem like a big deal to most people, but those of you who’ve known me for a while know that it represents a major shift in my temperament. I’m still a Melancholy to be sure, but a milder one I must say. Maybe I’m just mellowing in my old age.

Anyway, in the words of Janis Joplin, “Thats it!”

I think it’s a very big deal, Lib. Mellowing out is a good thing–better for your health, both mental and physical. If I wanted to get kind of new agey on you, I’d say you’re finding your center–something I’m trying to accomplish right now as well.

Best,
karol

I think, Lib, you have come to realize that while winning is nice and fun and can make you feel good, this place is about learning, not winning.

I’m still working on that one, myself.

Oh, my god, I can’t believe you’re saying this! You’re so wrong! You haven’t changed a bit!
:wink: just kidding.
Glad to see that you’re relaxing a bit Lib. I don’t know if you remember but there’ve been times in the past when you’ve tried to argue with me when I was agreeing with you :slight_smile:

I learned only yesterday that shit does matter when you run out of bathroom paper. Um, “instantly recycling” newspaper just is not the same somehow.

“He had no further intercourse in the Pit, but lived upon the Don’t Be a Jerk Principle, ever afterwards; and it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep The SDMB Mods happy, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said of us, and all of us! And so, as Tiny Lib observed, God Bless Us, Every One!”

Now, how’s that for a parody?

Lib darling…

What I think is that you are realizing what is important in life and what is not. An exchange of ideas is exhilirating and thought provoking and all that… and debate is important in that regard.

However, loving people is more important than debate and/or changing anyone’s mind. I have actually always thought that you felt that way anyway, I just always thought that maybe you didn’t recognize that you felt that way. Ignore this post if I am wrong.

If I am NOT wrong, then please let me say…I embrace that, and I embrace you.
Well, I embrace you anyway. Just because I feel like it.

I’ve noticed you throwing big grins (:D) around a bit lately, Lib. The last week or so, you’ve come across as though you’re having fun - Which is good. As you know, I admire your passion (particulary for your culture) greatly, but kinda like seeing you enjoying yourself.

Serious question: You think maybe the diet is having an effect on your mood?

Kal

So, Lib, how does this affect you memory of “up the butt, Bob?” :smiley: :smiley:

Has this affected you IRL too?

('Coz I think the SDMB has done that to me, to a certain extent. I am more willing to countenance other opinions than my own, but on the flipside also more likely to deman evidence to assertions).

For a second, Lib, I was gonna tell you that those weren’t aspirins you were taking. Then I read your post.

It is nice to see that you’re kind of mellowing out. Nothing’s fun if it’s only about competition.

Robin

Hey Lib, isn’t that the same thing teenagers go through? You know, that time when their testicles drop and stuff like that? :wink:

This place would be a lot nicer if everyone would just hit a bong before they debate… :slight_smile:

Actually Lib, I understand the change very well.

I try to be even handed but I haven’t been very good at it for a while. I read posts and let my anger about other things in my life* fuel my anger about posts on the SDMB. That anger built up and I came across as an ass. I still believe what I believe but I found, that when I re-read some of my sorrier posts, my point was lost because I wasn’t being clear. I was being angry.

Actually it is pretty funny because my Dad gets really upset when driving. People out here drive like idiots and my Dad gets mad at them. I have been telling my Dad that getting angry is a waste of energy for a long time. Yet I started doing the same thing over a message board. Go figure.

Anyway, I am trying very hard to be more pleasant and let things go. At the same time there are some posters that need to be Pitted from time to time.

Slee

*A lot of things in my life have gone to hell in the past couple of months. Most of those things were out of my control. I screwed up some but the rest was fate or bad luck or whatever you want to call it.

gads! Sounds like Lib has reached enlightenment.

preach the path! teach us how to be one with Cecil.

Ditto here after I came to this board years ago.

I noticed when you took the time to go into my “troll-hunters” thread in the Pit and tell me I’d made a good point. I appreciated that, by the way.

I’ve noticed that for the last month or so I’ve been more able to step back and look at another point of view every so often. The lack of self-righteous indignation is something that is taking some getting used to.

I mean, I still HAVE plenty of self-righteous indignation; I’m just saving it for the important stuff. :wink:

I liked the old Lib.

And I’m pretty sure I’m going to like the new Lib too :smiley:

You are and will always be our ‘Lib’. I notice that things posted that really used to bother me quite a bit and I wouldn’t hesitate to post a snide, scarcastic remark don’t seem to bother me as much either. Live and let live.

ultress, Hamadryad and Lib all going all soft on me?!?!

You leave for a week and they get all mushified.
:wink:

Everybody likes Lib.

Lib,

Good for you…:smiley:

I, myself have been trying to mellow out more with things that “just don’t matter”. I think it’s a good thing…as we get older to notice the important things in life.

Giving up coffee 2 weeks ago helped me out a little…I have a long way to go.

Thanks for sharing…!:slight_smile: