Not a huge loss for me, as I’ve never really enjoyed the food aspect of it. I figure, if I want a delicious meal I can make one at any time.
As far as the family aspect, Thanksgiving is a time when the men get together to watch football and drink beer while the women make 3 simultaneous meals. Since I don’t like football and I’m uncomfortable with misogyny, that leaves me to guiltily try to help in the kitchen while trying to avoid conversations about sports or politics.
This year, while trying to decide which set of Trumper boomers I avoid conversations with, I’m trying to figure why I’d bother at all. What’s this holiday even do for anyone?
I’ve celebrated turkey day with my gf’s family every year since we met. They are all cool people and were all devastated by Tuesday’s results. This will be a healing year.
Football was a part of the celebration early on, because my gf’s two aunties were huge fans. They are gone now, so the christmas story movie (with the leg lamp) will likely be on the tele.
As far as food, we divide up the chore. We bring the bird, which I cook and carve. My gf’s brother from Vermont fills the cooler with beer and ice. My gf’s other brother’s wife makes some bland, sad, vegetable side dishes (she’s a shitty cook and we are thankful we only eat her cooking once a year). A nephew brings desserts. My gf brings a case of my MIL’s favorite wine.
When my gf’s dad died 5 years ago, the first thanksgiving was sad. He had always carved the bird. I assumed one of my gf’s brothers would inherit that chore, but it turns out they’d all discussed it and wanted me to do it. I had to leave the room for a bit when they told me.
You know, a single person is allowed to just buy a smaller turkey, and cook it for themselves. Enjoy a week of turkey sandwiches after, and toss what’s left. When you do the math on how much it costs, it’s not actually that much per meal, and reports to the contrary, cooking a turkey with stuffing and a few potatoes isn’t actually all that hard. Most of the time involved is just waiting for the oven to do the job, and you’re watching football for most of that. Just set a timer on your phone to check on things every hour or so.
I did this for several Thanksgiving and Christmas meals during the pandemic, when my sister called off the One Big Dinner plan, and it was fine.
Just me and hubs this year, so I opted out of turkey, too much work for two people. Substituted a chicken, stuffed, with gravy, mashed potatoes and fresh green beans.
It worked a charm and was easy peasy, compared to a big old turkey. No giant pans, no hours of processing leftovers, I’ll def do it again!
The turkey farm near us offers small thanksgiving dinners, heat and eat. You can get two servings (they do not offer one, assuming even a single person wants to have leftovers) of turkey, stuffing, bean casserole, etc. Of course it is expensive, but cheaper than doing it yourself.
Used to be my favorite holiday. After my parents were gone, went to tolerating it mainly due to it all being with my wife’s family and their friends, and it always being at our place. Now I wish to avoid it. At least now we can travel to spend it with my adult children in their cities, and shed the whole extended family thing. My FIL is down the dementia hole and my MIL is on the edge of it - bringing him over here is a tense and drama-filled occasion that does no one any good. For the last few years I have refused to carve the effing Turkey as a protest - bah-effing-humbug!!
I have been suggesting we just do a family (immediate) vacation overseas around the end of November where there is no trace of Thanksgiving - maybe someday.
It’s at the wrong time of year - too close to Xmas. It should really be in July or August.
But the worst for me is that everybody is traveling on the same day, and I hate traffic. So I’ve told my family I’ll do Thanksgiving OR Xmas, not both. So December it is.
Beliefs and customs are one thing, actions are another.
Did they vote against my son’s rights? Are they going to talk politics at the table? While I have to smile and pretend like nothing is wrong while that goes on?
Jeezus people! You don’t have to go visit offensive people just because an accident of birth made them “family”. Grow a spine! Stop letting the past control your present. Tell them to fuck right off. Be the master of your own life.
And if you still like “family” thanksgiving, do what we do: find all the other “orphans” (either by choice or chance) and invite them over! Everyone will be happier. The bigots can bigot to their hearts’ content at your folks’ house, and the good people can hang out at yours.
Well, I’m alone in the world now. I got a half-hearted invitation from my grown daughter to come to her boyfriend’s family’s Thanksgiving. I never met them. I feel like I should go, but I really really don’t want to. I don’t know what to do.
Thanksgiving is a sad stressful time for me anyway. And I hate turkey. The last couple years, I buy Thai or Chinese food or pizza the day before, watch the parade, the dog show, and watch ‘A Christmas Story’ if it’s on as many times as possible. Thanksgiving is for big jolly families who have kids (make some childhood memories). I went through hell on Thanksgivings past, don’t miss it, tbh.
Another option that I used to get from Pusateri’s, that upscale little boutique grocery I sometimes rave about, was a turkey roll. They somehow managed to skillfully carve out two whole intact turkey breasts and form them into a roll, tied up with string… I think you can buy that sort of stuff commercially but, as always with Pusateri’s, this was much superior in terms of quality.
It was definitely an expensive way to buy turkey, but great for convenience and for those (like me) who prefer white meat anyway. You don’t get stuffing that way, but they sold that separately, along with turkey gravy and their own inimitable cranberry sauce. For the exceedingly lazy or time-pressed, they also sold their own store-made garlic mashed potatoes and various prepared veggies.
Not exactly traditional, but it made a great Thanksgiving dinner with mashed potatoes and veggies, and the leftovers were good for more dinners and turkey sandwiches.
You might prefer Canadian Thanksgiving, which is in mid-October. Personally I prefer the timing of American Thanksgiving. Ours is so early that it’s often just too damned warm for traditions like a nice fire in the fireplace, especially with global warming. Also, the timing of American Thanksgiving can be considered the official start of the holiday season, where afterwards everything is all about Christmas, and then the New Year.