A while back I was trying to remember a book that my friend read two years ago. The book was American Gods but I couldn’t remember that. All I could remember was that it had a green cover. And as I’m trying to force myself to remember the title while I walked around the bookstore trying to find it I tried to even remember what it was about.
“It was” I says to myself. I says, “It was about gods. And there was an American in it. Something to do with gods and America. And the cover was green…”
And then I looked to my right and there was a green book with the title American Gods. Well I lucked out.
Yesterday at the library a man asked one of my coworkers for a ruler but couldn’t remember what it was called so he said, “You know, the thing that has inch, inch, inch, inch?”
Last Sunday, in my weekly D&D campaign, the players found a solid gold sarcaphogus. After dispatching the inhabitant, they started discussing how best to remove it from the dungeon. The module I was running didn’t say how much it weighed. Various ideas about how to determine its weight were offered, when one guy turned to me and said, “Look, just go on the internet, find out how much a pound of gold weighs…”
Never did find out what the next step was going to be, on account of all the laughing.
I remember one time back when I was in high school I was trying to express which floor my locker was on, but the word just didn’t want to come to me. “Tier? No, that sounds odd. Level?”
Not really that funny: a pound of gold weighs less than a pound of plain dirt.
A pound of gold weighs 12 oz (Troy weight), while a pound of dirt weighs 16 oz (Avoirdupois weight). The ounces aren’t the same weight, but ultimately the dirt weighs more.
My co-worker apparently is unfamiliar with the word “scale” as she constantly refers to it as “the weigher”. I asked her once if English is her first language.
I was at work one time and we were talking about old TV shows. One guy said there was a show he was thinking of but he couldn’t remember the name. But he said he could remember the theme song. So we said sing the theme song and we’ll see if we recognize it and can name the show.
My wife is constantly using the wrong words in conversation. Yesterday she asked me to take the clean laundry out of the refrigerator, and put some stamped envelopes in the umbrella for delivery.
Nicely done. I use that one from time to time with the old “which weighs more, a pound of feathers or a pound of lead” riddle. Yeah, they weigh the same, but if you change the lead to gold, then it’s the feathers!
I often go aphasic and say “You know, the *thing *thing” but I have not caught myself using a totally incorrect word, or not recognizing the correct word as I am using it.
