I think my family was attacked by the Government Saturday night

About 7:30 Saturday evening we noticed a really strange smell coming into the house from outside. I closed the windows, but it didn’t help much. We could hear sirens in the distance, getting closer, then diminishing. My wife called 911, and the fire department showed up about ten minutes later. The smell had diminished to vanishing by then, though. They looked around a little and left, saying it was probably a car driving by with bad exhaust. I went back in the house to get the kids to bed.

Then nothing.

The next thing any of us remember was waking up Sunday morning. We were all exhausted all day long, and both kids were really acting up. I mean really out of character stuff for both of them.

I think the government drugged us and kidnapped us.

That is the most reasonable explanation. Do you have vague memories involving animals?

I’m not saying you definitely have this problem, but if it were myself, I would check the furnace and see if you have a Carbon Monoxide problem in your house.

From earlier in the day, you mean? Sure. We had a party Saturday afternoon.

How’s your anus? Does it feel probed at all?

What kind of animals? Any rabbits or owls?

5- and 6-year olds.

You’re being paranoid. The government is not involved in any way.

At least, that’s what they told me to tell you. They would also like you to direct your conversations the plant on your coffee table from now on. And speak up.

Goon 'n you?

We don’t have a cellar, and we don’t have gas or oil.

Our neighbors are Russian immigrants, though, and I think this might have something to do with them.

Ah. Clearly midget agents scouting you out. You have only one recourse: get a website explaining your plight in varying fonts and colours to warn others and let the government know you know what they’re up to. Make sure to include pictures of yourself and your family as well as the real names of you and your family and everyone you know.

Distinctly unprobed.

But it’s Duck season…

I’m trying to think up a “Soviet Russia” joke, but I got nuthin.

In Soviet Russia, immigrants have something to do with you!

You don’t live near here, do you? If you seriously have no memories after the fire department left (not even going to bed!!!) – I would want to see a doctor. Meh, maybe it’s just that my tinfoil hat doesn’t fit me quite right, I tend to look for more…governmentally-plausible excuses.

Psst…I think you were whooshed!

Why do you think it was the government, and not your wife?

cue Twilight Zone music

pssssst, there’s no tongue-in-cheek smilie :smiley:

We have neighbors who, I’m convinced, are in the witness protection program. You, however, may need to check out the witless protection program. :smiley: