This afternoon I visited my grandmother, who’s been in a nursing home since 2002.
Up until very recently she’s been fine. Loves visitors, crochets, writes poetry about the family and so on.
But her back pain, which has been controlled with patches, is bothering her more since she wrenched it somehow. And she’s so tired.
Today she didn’t know me until I told her who I was, and even then I had to remind her I was the oldest grandchild, and give her my name several times. After that she was a little better, but it was a big squeeze to my heart. Grandma isn’t going to be there forever, is she?
It’s not as if she hasn’t had a good run. She was born December, 17, 1904, the first anniversary of the Wright Brother’s flight a Kitty Hawk.
I’ve spoken about her before, but the main thing I have to say is that of all the people in the world(along with my parents) I love her most. I’d do literally anything to make her happy. I only hope and pray that when her time comes it’s easy, that my mother or my aunt will get a call that says “Mrs. L**** didn’t wake up this morning.” I know she will wake up in Heaven, but I’ll miss her here on Earth more than I can say.
Yes, it’s sad but there’s nothing you can do except, enjoy the time while you can.
A simple analogy is you don’t want to go to the county fair, 'cause you’ll have to come home eventually.
And here’s something else to think about. In November of 1979, my mother’s friend Jane, was very sick, she spent three months in intensive care and it looked bad. In Janaury of 1980 my mother and me went shopping for a new coat for my mother to wear to Jane’s funeral.
In December of 1980, I gave that coat to JANE to wear to my MOTHER’S FUNERAL. Jane lived on till 1995 and was over 100.
See my point, you could say “Goodbye” to your grandmother walk out the nursing home door and get hit by a bus. You just never know.
But don’t let the inevitable keep you from enjoying the present. Now is your chance to say your good-bye and enjoy your grandmother’s company while you still can.
The lesson is: everything ends, so enjoy it while you can, whatever it is and don’t let any feelings of sadness stop you from enjoying the present
Grandma is the only person in the world I moderate my behavior for based on what makes her happy, not me.
See, I had this sweatshirt that showed a stable scene, camels, star overhead, and so on. The voice from inside said “IT’S A GIRL!!!” Just a joke, but Grandma worried a little about my theology, so I didn’t wear it again if she would be present.
I don’t even do that sort of thing for my parents, but for Grandma I will.
I know you didn’t ask for advice, but could any of this be her medication? Or a reaction to the increased pain from her back?
I’m so sorry you have to go through this. It’s so hard to see them leave, even if you know where they’re going. Your grandmother is about three weeks older than my father, and he’s been gone for 19 years now. Just keep loving her.