P-E-P-E-P, mooooore pep pills!
Pep pills, pep pills, pepillspepillspepillspepills, yea, PEP PILLS!!!
Oh it aint no use if you don’t have the boost.
The boost you get from Loosners!
Loosners.
Melanie Haber?
Audry Farber?
Oh! You must mean Nancy!
Where’s the fire?
In your eyes Sergent Bradshaw.
That’s Lieutenant Bradshaw.
“…and from this day forward, I will have no son.”
“He’s not your son.”
“Stop torturing me, Ethel.”
See what you’ve done RTFirefly? Now I have to go back and listen to these again, on scratchy old LPs. I’ve forgotten most of this stuff.
Ask the cop on the corner.
Ask the cop on the rooftop.
Ask the cop in the woodshed.
Ask that cop that’s knocking on your … back … door.
[knock knock knock]
Go ahead … Ask him!
Er … Mister Policeman, what makes America great?
It’s candied apples
and ponies with dapples
that you can ride all day.
It’s girls with pimples
and cripples with dimples
that just won’t go away.
It’s spics and whops
and niggers and kikes
with noses as long as your arm.
It’s mics and chinks
and gooks and geeks
and honkies …
[squeaking bicycle horn]
Who never even left the farm!
[Officer Bradshaw]
That’s what makes America great!
And don’t forget. Abraham Lincoln didn’t die in vain.
He died in Washington D.C.!
[/Officer Bradshaw]
“The pyramid is opening!”
“Which one?”
“The one with the ever-widening hole in it.”
Don’t eat with your hands, son. Use your entrenching tool.
Aw come on Dad! It’s not every day a boy graduates from high school.
How many times have I heard that before?
My, my, just look at the time. I’ll be late for my bridge club.
Gee Mom, isn’t that bridge built yet?
No son [slap], and it won’t be [punch], until free hands [slug] on both sides of the big ditch can press the same button at the same time!
All right Dad. Can I finish my breakfast now?
Only if you stay out of trouble, son. Your shenanigans could cost me this election!
Ask the postman
ask the mailman
ask the milkman
white with foam…
Outdoor Games
Vinnie: "When it comes to the physical games, there are but two things to remember: keep them simple and bear in mind the problems with space and time which you’ll have. Mumbledepeg and Russian Roulette and for that matter all games involving knives or guns are out, for obvious reasons.
“How 'bout that, Jerry?”
Jerry: “Well, Vinnie, you know, playing croquet while stoned can be an extra beautiful trip. Sometimes you think you’re a member of English aristocracy. And sometimes you think you’re God.”
Vinnie: “Right you are, Jerr. Well folks, we’ll be back in a minute with more excitement right after this word.”
Announcer: "And now, today’s Outdoor Sport. MRS. EILEEN SIMMONS OF Phoenix, Arizona. you win …
MORE SUGAR!!!
Sit out this storm? Nay! Lay on sheets. Then crack, crack cheeks and break wind, loudly break. Bend backs and buttocks boys. Twill be a piece of cake.
“I’m looking for the same old place.”
“Oh, you must mean the old Same place.”
Hey! What are you guys doing in my car?
The Foxtrot! You can have the next dance by passing the fox.
Did I pass a gas station?
No, no; but the fox did - squeeze him right there, maybe he’ll pass another one!
No, no, no GAS-O-LINE!
Oh, if it’s drugs you want, my boy, the old Doctor can help you out. Roll up your arm and bend over. What do you want, Regular or Premium?
You guys are nothing but a pack of cards.
Drink me. Smoke me.
“Los Angeles…he walks again by night!”
“He’s coming around, folks! He’s going to be okay, and ready to play Symptom Six of ‘Beat the Reaper’!”
“It’s going to be alright tonight, here at the Powerhouse Church of the Presumptuous Assumption of the Blinding Light.”
“‘If you push something hard enough, it will fall over.’ Fudd’s First Law of Opposition.”
“Dig that chick.”
“She’s not groovy!!”
[siren]
“Come here, baby. I wanna do a thing.”
What is reality?
***SHOES FOR INDUSTRY! SHOES FOR THE DEAD! SHOES FOR INDUSTRY! ***
Hi, I’m Joe Beets. Say, what chance does a returning deceased war veteran has for that good-paying job, more sugar, and the free mule you’ve been dreaming of? Well, think it over. Then take off your shoes. Now, you can see how increased spending opportunities mean harder work for everyone, and more of it, too! So do your part today, Joe. Join with millions of your neighbors and turn in your shoes.
***FOR INDUSTRY! ***
“…where you can pee into the stream, and thats important my friend…”
Mooney252, where did you locate CD’s? I haven’t looked online, but would love to find them.
I’m not BMooney252, or someone like him, but you can get CD versions of all the vintage Firesign albums at laugh.com. They’ve recently reissued two great solo projects, too: Proctor & Bergman’s TV or Not TV and Phil Austin’s Roller Maidens from Outer Space. I can’t recommend the latter highly enough–it’s right up there with the best and weirdest of Firesign.
BOB’S BEZERKO LOUNGE!
No need to leave your loved ones at home.
Your car is just as welcome as your are.
Thousands of empty seats in the back for the lonely set.
Ed aims to please and so does Louise.
So don’t hide arms, get side arms!