With the exception of the guns issue, I think most Americans have already voted on a guy who represents this platform. His name was Mondale.
Could it be that Johnny L.A. is really Hillary Rodham Clinton? 
Aren’t you the guy who claims he can’t get a date? Hell man, maybe you just need to talk more. It’s working here.
If elected, you’re gonna need a good gardener. Gimme a call and you’ll see what the White House grounds look like festooned with a bunch of cool cactus.
Most? He won?
Interesting alternate universe.
I question your claims of honorable military service in wartime! Question, I say!
Most = a substantial number of American voters have already voted in an election in which Mondale was a candidate.
Thanks for making me spell it out.