I think you should elect me President.

I don’t like Bush, and I think the Democrats could be doing a better job. What’s the solution? Vote for me! :slight_smile:

If I were President, this is what I’d do:

Health Care. Too many Americans are without health care. I would support a programme in which all Americans, regardless of income or employment status, would be guaranteed health care, which would be paid for out of income tax revenue and by money that companies are currently paying to insurance companies. Such a health plan would allow patients to visit the doctors of their choice instead of having to resort to ‘free clinics’, and prescription medication would be provided at reasonable prices.

Taxes. Yes, National Health Care would be expenses. Taxes might have to be increased. But the benefit to society would outweigh the cost. Existing tax money could be redistributed to where it’s needed. Instead of having health care premiums deducted from their paycheques, the amount would instead be included in/added to the current income tax withholding.

Tax laws would be tightened so that each person earning or receiving an income would be taxed fairly.

The Military. Defence spending is important because of our position on the World Stage. We need to spend enough to meet our commitments. However, we do not need to spend money foolishly. Unworkable programmes such as the Missile Defence Shield should not be funded. Our personnel should be paid adequately, so that military families do not have to rely on Navy Relief, AFDC, or other programmes. We should spend the money to keep our forces a step ahead of the rest of the world’s forces, but we should consider that one less ballistic missile submarine or one less aircraft carrier might mean that more money could be spent on other things (like National Health Care).

Abortion. None of the government’s business. If the government wants to make it its business, then let it pay for abortions on demand. It would certainly cost less than supporting an unwanted child for a couple of decades.

Gun Control. Enforce the laws we have, instead of making up new laws that do nothing to prevent crime.

Crime. Attach the problem, not the symptoms. Why do people commit crimes? Often it is because of poor upbringing. Better education, better health care, and better opportunities will do much to reduce crime. I believe that crime rates go down in times of prosperity. Let’s work to make Americans prosperous.

International Relations. We must realise that we are but a single country on the planet. The citizens of other nations are equally proud of their homelands as we are of our. We must treat people and nations with respect. Part of this is to understand that there are places and situations in the world where we should not butt in. Let’s be there when our friends need help. Let’s offer help to our enemies as well. No need to be a patsy; but we should strive to ever be The Good Guys.

Education. Many people do not have access to higher education. For many, it’s a choice between going to school or paying the rent. We must make education available to every one – even people who may be older, but have lost their jobs. Especially them, since it’s tougher to ‘bounce back’ after a certain age. Higher education should be freely available to high school graduates too. Perhaps a plan like Sweden’s would be good, where anyone who wants to go to college can, and take 30 years to pay it back. Or ‘free education’ could be paid back with Federal Service.

Of course, these are just initial ideas. I’ll have to go over the rough spots with my qualified advisors.

For this alone, you get my vote!

Can I get a juicy ambassadorship in return for my support?

:smiley:

(My bold)
You’ve blown your cover by using British English spelling. You have Tony Blair’s vote. :cool:

Erm… My first three cars were British. And my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather (the immigrant) was a cousin to the Archbishop of Canterbury. :wink:

But my spelling has been notoirously variable since childhood. :stuck_out_tongue:

You got my vote when you said, “I don’t like Bush.”

I like all your ideas…I think the flat tax, where everybody pays something like 15% of gross earning, no matter what your income, seems fair. No deduction for nuthin’.

So, as long as you have no skeltons in your closet and can pretend to be religious at least until after elected, it sounds like you got a lock. BTW, who’s your running mate?

A flat tax sounds good on the face of it, but I’d have to research it to see if it is the most fair tax while taking into account the whole of the economy.

Erm… How about a rotting corpse? Does that count?

Well, I believe in the separation of Church and State.

I’m a Gemini. Two for the price of one! :stuck_out_tongue:

I’ve yet to decide on a running mate. I wonder if Jack Nicholson is doing anything?

You’ll have every thinking-persons vote. Unfortunately, you need a majority.

. . . with all due acknowledgements to Adlai Stevenson, one of the finest president’s we’ve never had, and originator of that sentiment.

Nice credentials, but you’re overqualified. :smiley:

Re: Crime—Would it be okay if we attacked the problem and the symptoms? As a Centrist, I feel that much good could be done with a combination of progressive social programs, and public executions.

And…what are your positions on gay marriage, the FCC, NASA, and Nuclear Energy?

Matchka once announced his plan to become benevolent dictator for life. It included:

Seems a good enough candidate for “Minister of Reasonable Policies” as long as you can maintain his Valium prescription. :slight_smile: Want me to look him up for you?

I assume you mean “none of the federal government’s business”, so that you would have no objection to states regulating abortion differently.

The problem with most of the rest of your platform is the same as with many other approaches. Promising, for instance, free health care and college for everyone “at a reasonable cost” is meaningless unless you can come up with some method of making it happen - and addressing the unfortunate effects that hugely increased taxation tends to have on the economy that supplies all the government’s revenue.

Regards,
Shodan

You just want to fly Air Force One.

Who doesn’t? I’d vote for him.

:: puts on a Johnny for Pres button ::

Gay marriage. ‘We hold these truths to be self-evident; that all men are created equal…’ Gays should be able to enjoy the full benefits, responsibilities and consequenses of marriage as the rest of us.

FCC. They’ve been in the news of late (still) because of the Janet Jackson boob thing. I say, lighten up! We all have nipples! I see their actions as caving in to the Religious Right, and thus a step toward theocracy. Other nations seem to do all right with brief nudity on TV, and nudity and strong language is a stape of many popular cable shows in the U.S. The JanTit maybe shouldn’t have been exposed during that particular programme, but the furor over it is a tempest in a teapot.

NASA. I am a strong proponent of space exploration. I think manned exploration is good for a society. Unfortunately, it’s very expensive. I would try to balance the costs with the value (real and emotional) of space exploration. NASA’s budget is very small compared to the rest of the government. I would like to see an increase in their budget (funds permitting). One programme I would like to see better funded is the study of earth-crossing asteroids.

Nuclear energy. The U.S. Navy have been using nuclear energy for decades, and doing it quite safely. Other countries use a higher percentage of nuclear energy than the U.S., and they handle it well. We have better designs than the Soviets did, so I don’t thing we need to worry about another Chernobyl here. Unfortunately they produce hazardous waste, and that waste can be used by terrorists if they get ahold of it. I would like to see more nuclear power in the U.S., but I must admit that I don’t yet have a plan for waste disposal.

I would strive to keep abortion safe and legal in the U.S. The issue of abortion is a moral issue; and thus, a religious one. By denying abortion to someone who doesn’t follow a particular religion (or religious sect) the right to have an abortion, you are, in effect, imposing your religion on her. Thiss seems to me to be too close to the establishment of a ‘State religion’.

Air Force One will have two seats and a tailhook. :wink:

All moral issues are religious issues?

"In the latest of the major controversies that have sent his campaign reeling, Johnny L.A. found himself on the defensive today trying to ‘clarify’ his earlier statement that only religious people can be moral.

‘That isn’t what I meant at all’, said Johnny, standing beside his wife and supporters. ‘I wish people wouldn’t take my statements out of context like this.’

A spokeswoman for the National Right to Have Abortions Foundation called the statements ‘deeply troubling’.

‘It sounds as if he doesn’t believe that non-religous women should be allowed to choose. We will have to re-evaluate our support for a candidate with so radical, right-wing and oppressive an agenda’, said Skysinger Obramowitz, public relations manager for the group.

Support for Johnny L.A. plunged sharply overnight, raising new questions about a campaign that yesterday seemed headed straight for the top.

The Johnny L.A. campaign earlier was the subject of contoversy from the American Cherry Pickers Association, a trade group representing the Washington cherry industry, over Johnny’s remarks in favor of apple pie.

‘A lot of folks feel excluded by his hateful attack on the decent, hard-working folks in the cherry business’ was the catch-phrase of a “information campaign” earlier this year waged against the once-stellar campaign.

Next on News at Nine[sup]TM[/sup] - can the Johnny L.A. campaign claw its way back from this disastrous and catastrophic mistake?

Film at eleven."

Regards,
Shodan

I feel that it is important to point out that I like cherry pie and apple pie equally. I also like pecan pie, pumpkin pie, lemon merengue pie, berry pie, chocolate cream pie, mincemeat, and cheescake. Speaking of cake, I like many kinds of cakes as well. If I am elected President, people will be free to choose the pies of their choice, cakes, or any other dessert without prejudice.

You will have to change your name. Any name with L.A. in it will be an immediate turnoff for a considerable number of voters.

Since you now live in Washington State, consider something with a unique Pacific Northwest theme to it.

Johnny St. Helens?

So now he’s going to let us eat cake?

he he he … Our boy has learned a great lesson from our current president: When confronted with an issue which will not further your agenda by addressing it, ignore it completely. The people will forget if you let them.

It’s really the only thing I DO like about Bush. He simply refuses to let himself get bogged down with sticking bandy-aids on those he injures. Unscrupulous, determined and unappologetic. Perfect for the job.

So you don’t think obesity in America is a problem?

Admit it - you are getting campaign contributions from Betty Crocker, aren’t you?

Regards,
Shodan

What? And deny his heritage?

Plus, there is a lot of money and influence in Hollywood and a California connection didn’t hurt Raygun from being elected - twice!