So I’ve started watching Babylon 5 lately. I’ve gotten a little ways into the second season, but somethings bugging me. I never watched it when it was on the air, but I’ve always heard it touted as the more ‘realistic’ sci-fi series - no teleporting, no particle of the week, real politics, that sort of thing. And I’ll certainly admit that it does a far more convincing job of world-building than, say, Star Trek.
But seriously, what’s up with all the bad sci-fi tropes? So far, in one season, we’ve got telepathy that works better via touch, an alien device that transfers ‘life energy’, an alien going through metamorphosis to turn half-human, and the rebirth of alien souls into human bodies! Not to mention the omniscient, omnipotent conspiracy, the way-mysterious, ancient threat-to-all-life, and the planet full o’ alien technology that the station happens to be orbiting. Yeesh.
I guess I was expecting a little better from all the hype. It’s definitely nice that there are some real politics going on (although at least in the first few episodes the ambassadors had unreasonably large authority to commit their home governments to things), and that every episode doesn’t end with the status-quo being preserved, but there’s WAY too much mysticism going on for my liking. I suppose I was a little spoiled by watching Planetes (garbage collection in space! Woo!) right before, but now I’m getting a hankering for some proper, mundane sci-fi, with stricter rules. Here’s what I’m thinking so far:
No destiny, no prophecy - are we doing sci-fi or fantasy?
No time travel (really!)
No mysticism - which is to say, the characters can (and should!) have beliefs, but I find it a little hard to buy that the Minbari can freaking SCAN SOMEONE’S SOUL and find out who they were in a past life. You’d think if there was such concrete evidence of souls and whatnot, we might have noticed by now.
No telepaths - this one I’m a little less strict about, because I’ve seen it done well, but I’d rather just check the paranormal at the door, thanks.
No bad biology - if human-alien hybrids are possible, the world had better already be populated with people mixing themselves with animals, and people who get off on them. And no ‘universal cures’ that affect all species, and NO LIFE ENERGY. Please.
No sending your command staff on away missions - this is a big one for me. Managers do not hop in shuttles and go investigate alien ships. That is why you have subordinates. I’d really like to see a show with two sets of characters - one command group, and one first contact/EVA/exploration group.
No way-too-powerful-to-be-taken-seriously conspiracies/unknown villains - this is part of my nothing-happens-in-a-vacuum pet peeve. There is no such thing as a universally-competent group of humans, things leak. I can almost buy a large, external threat that no one’s heard about, but not one that has to go sneaking around at the same time. Plus, really, no one notices, not just the assembly of huge, overwhelmingly powerful ships, but the whole freaking species? Really?
Finally, no having everything of importance in the universe happen near your main characters. Why the hell do you need to smuggle stuff through Babylon 5 in order to blow up a ship in Earth’s system? Why the HELL would there be a big, important alien fighting championship on a brand new space station with 250,000 inhabitants? This one is actually less of a big deal for B5, since a lot of it has to do with the importance of the station, but there are a few instances of WTF.
Whew. All that said, I’m enjoying the show, and I’m definitely gonna keep watching. Just had to get some pet peeves off my chest first.