“What Lies Beneath”? You mean beneath that big hunk of shit that you call a movie. This has to be the most stupid, trite, predictable attempt at a horror movie I’ve seen in years. They brought out every fuckin horror movie cliche in the book.
(WARNING: spoilers coming (as if I’m really spoiling anything. The movie spoils itself about 10 minutes before anything happens))
Michele Pfeiffer goes to turn the knob to open the front door, but what’s this? the knob turns itself - gasp! oohh that was scary. And the radio decides to turn itself on and off for no particular reason. Must be the latest in haunting technique, boy these ghosts are getting sophisticated these days.
Well, obviously the ghost is trying to tell her something, heck we learned that that’s what ghosts do in “Sixth Sense”, So how does Michele Pfeiffer (sp?) try to communicate? Yep, you guessed it - A ouiji (sp?) board. Afterall all, everyone knows that ghosts can’t talk, nor can they pick up a pen and write some info, but they can move the plastic indicator of the ouiji board (as we learned in “Witchboard”). But wait! this ghost can write messages in a foggy mirror “you know”?
This ghost can also type. And it’s willing to type its initials on the computer, oh I don’t know, 40 or 50 times. Of course, if it just took the time to spell out its entire name once, Pfeiffer wouldn’t have to do her high tech detective work to figure out whose initials these were.
I guess, what bugs me most about this movie is that Harrison Ford agreed to be in it. Harrison, what are ya doin man? I understand you wanting to work with Michele Pfeiffer, but I’m sure if you were just a little more patient a better opportunity would have come along.
I want my fuckin $7 back as well as my 2 hours and 6 minutes (that’s right, a full fuckin 126 minutes wasted) back you bastards!!
WTF are you upset about? Did you not see even 1 commercial for the movie? Did you not read even 1 review of the movie? Watch Ebert at the movies? Any one of those things would have given you an idea about what was in the movie. If you didn’t do any sort of research you are a dumb comsumer and deserved to waste your time and money.
I didn’t see a single promo for it. My girlfriend wanted to see it, she told me Harrison Ford was in it, I said “OK”.
You’re correct though. I very rarely go to the movies, and when I do go its almost always because something in a promo has made me feel confident that it’s something I’m gonna want to see.
In this case I am indeed the fool for not being an educated consumer, so I deserved it.
I should’ve known better than to look for sympathy in the pit.
Actually, Moe, you have my sympathy. If adam had done his homework, he would have known that everyone involved in the movie is trying very hard not to let anything slip. It’s very difficult to find out anything meaty about What Lies Beneath without seeing it. It’s one of those infuriating movies where all the actors and PR people are keeping mum.
“We as a race” aren’t “beyond” a lot of things, some silly movie designed for entertainment purposes is the least of our worries. I saw XMen this weekend, so what? That’s one for brilliant minds. Next time just stay home and watch Masterpiece Theater if you’re looking for something a little less trite.
Well, a few things. I mean, maybe I’m giving us too much credit, but it really did, and still does for the most part, seem like movies (these past 5 or 6 years) have been getting more interesting and trying new things. I’m not the hugest fan of the “Scream” and “I Know What you did Last Summer” movies (in fact, I haven’t seen all the sequels yet, so don’t bash me if they are contradictory to everything I say in praise of them), but I do think they were progressive and interesting in quite a few ways. At the very least, different from what came before.
“Blair Witch” I found very interesting as well. And in other genres also, everything from Tarrantino to the Coen Bros., to “Being John Malkovich”, etc.
I mean, someone actually wrote that stupid movie, then a major Hollywood studio had to say “Yeah, that seems like a good idea. We’ll be glad to pay for it”, and then a brilliant actor like Harrison Ford had to read the script and agree to star in it, before it actually made it to the silver screen. How does this happen?
Hey dumbass, if you have anything to say about me, say it to me. One of the commercials for this movie, that has been played ad naseum, made it abundantly clear that Harrison Ford was being “stalked” by a dead woman that he had an affair with.
Well, Ebert said that the trailer pretty much gives the movie away, at least some “important” plot element that is revealed about 1 hour into the movie. I dunno, I haven’t seen it.
Didn’t marketing do something similar with the Michael Douglas/Gwenyth Paltrow thriller a year or so back? Show the big confrontation/revelation scene in the trailer?
I hate it when they do that!
I swear, if Planet of the Apes were to have come out this year, the trailer would give away the final scene.
Please explain to me what you found “progressive” about “Scream” and “I Saw What You Did Last Summer”. “Blair Witch Project” I might be able to agree. I did find that to be rather clever. But these other movies you have mentioned use pretty much the same plot, style, characterization and other elements of typical “slasher” films. Yes, that style was considered new and different back when “Halloween” and “Friday the 13th” came out, but it’s old hat now. Just revamped for a new generation. As for this new Harrison Ford movie, he does have a history of making a boo-boo now and then, ever see Hanover Street or Mosquito Coast? Looks like a “Play Misty for Me” rip-off and I did hate the Glen Close, Michael Douglas thing too, what was that movie called?
Wouldn’t it be nice if someone could come up with something that hasn’t been done before?
But with respect to Scream: [disclaimer] please forgive me, I haven’t seen it in awhile, actually only saw it once, and I don’t remember any specific examples to support what I’m going to say, BUT,[/disclaimer] didn’t it also, on top of the old cliched formula for 80’s slasher movies, have an element of satire about those very types of movies. I found that to be very clever. Then they did it again in the sequel, by satiring the formula for horror movie sequels. Never saw the 3rd one so I won’t comment on that, but, while this won’t ever be considered the ground breaking movie that changed the genre and the generation along with it, I found it to be progressive and fresh.
I actually don’t remember “I know what you did last summer” too well, but I remember liking it.
I find it very amusing that we have become, as a society, so jaded that we will tolerate any formulaic, derivative, redundant piece of garbage as long as someone “reputable” says it’s “satiric.”
Ah yes, the Blair Witch Project. When it first came out we had a joke going around the neighborhood.
If freaks like that were ever to set up shop in our little corner of the woods, the sound track would play a bit differently. Instead of ‘click, click, ting, ting, clatter, click…’, it would sound more like, ‘click, click, ting, AARRROOOO! WOOF WOOF WOOF, AAAAGGGHHH GEDDIMOFFA ME, BLAM BLAM BLAM, aaargle, gasp…’.
My night vision goggles are due in next week too. Gotta keep up with the Joneses.