It’s been years since I’ve had a nasty cold. I guess I’ve built up some immunity, for which I am grateful. I used to get them all the time, despite hand-washing, etc. I think it helps that I no longer have virus-ridden toddlers coughing in my face anymore.
But my current cold has hit me harder than any other in a long time. It’s not influenza by any stretch, but I still took two days off of work due to feeling poorly, and coughing so hard that I couldn’t function for a few minutes at a time.
And man, the head congestion was nassssssssssssty! I used my neti pot frequently, even resorted to oxymetazoline spray, but my head was packed so tight I still couldn’t stand it. Steam didn’t work either. Those measures usually took care of 90% of my congestion.
In days of yore when it got this bad, I’d take a decongestant. Phenylpropanolamine, in particular. That’s because pseudoephedrine, phenylephrine, and ephedrine never helped much, and I didn’t care for their side-effects. I scrupulously avoid antihistamines during colds, as they just dry out and thicken those nasty secretions.
But waaaay back in 2000, the FDA banned phenylpropanolamine! Seems that there were one or two articles showing a possible concern: its use by young perimenstrual women for appetite suppression seemed to be associated with an increased risk of stroke. So it was whisked off the shelves, not just in the US, but all over the world, it seems.
I was a bit sad, but not inconsolable. I didn’t rush out and stock up vast quantities, but I did make sure I still had a few on hand. And as time went on, they got used up when appropriate. And then they were gone. Or so I thought.
But about a year ago, cleaning out the cupboard, I found 3 tablets! The extended variety, lasting 12 hours!
And in the throes of my current cold, I took one! And it worked! For 18 hours, my head was clear! Of course, I was still coughing nonstop, but still! No untoward side-effects, no jitters, no spacey feeling, just decongestion! And not just in the nasal passageways, but everywhere in my head! I could feel my ethmoids relaxing and open up, my maxillaries and frontals depressurizing, my sphenoids returning to local barometric conditions! Heaven! I did the happy dance!
I now have two doses remaining, then there will be no more. If I’m fortunate, I’ll never need them. But should the next killer congestive cold grip me despite conventional methods of relief, I will have a nuclear option!
That’s it. Rather dreadfully dull, really. No interesting prison anecdotes today.
Well, ok, one anecdote: An inmate with a prosthetic leg keeps breaking it because he works out too vigorously. He’s demanding an ‘athletic model’ which should be able to withstand the rigors of his strenuous exercise demands. This model runs over $55K. He is intimating that he may sue, claiming discrimination towards the disabled, if we don’t provide it.
We’re issuing a new standard leg, adequate for normal activities and exercises. We’re telling him that if he breaks it by exercising too much, he’ll have to pay for it, and he’ll be charged with destruction of state property.
I wonder who will win?
