Violent hate. My educational background isn’t too bad, i’ve had 3 college math courses (algebra, pre-calculus and trigonometry). None of them were too bad and my grades were A, A, A-. I’ve also had 8 science course in college and I’m currently enrolled in 2 science courses (300 & 400 level) and calculus I and an A/H course. And fuck calculus to death. Calculus is worse than the 300 & 400 level science courses combined. I would probably opt to take another 300 and another 400 level science course over Calculus 211. I hate it so violently.
I partially hate it because of all the work, spending 8-9 hours a week on homework isn’t unnatural. But I have done that for some science courses too and it didn’t bother me. I took a chemistry course in summer so it was accelerated, I put in 8-9 hours a week on average in there too, I didn’t love it but I didn’t hate it either. But most of my science courses haven’t required tons of effort. I assume the reason it didn’t bother me in the science courses is because I didn’t spend 8-9 hours every week and because the material was tangible. Sciences like anatomy & physiology, chemistry, biology, microbiology, virology, etc. are all tangible subjects. Its not esoteric stuff you’ve never seen or heard of before layered on more esoteric stuff you’ve never seen or heard of before being spouted by someone in a cheap suit with poor empathy skills exclaiming ‘this is why we have engineering’. Sciences are tangible subjects. Maybe thats why I did better in the earlier math courses, they were not as esoteric. And that the class wasn’t designed for people who had experience.
I assume physics will be the same. I don’t know if its the instructor, the fact that i’m not good at calculus, or that i’m not trying hard enough. I assume a mixture. I have never taken a calculus class before and 80% of my class is 19 year olds who are fresh out of high school who have taken calculus in high school and maybe finite math in college. I have not done either, I just did trigonometry instead of finite. So I am at a disadvantage. I talked to a friend from college who took physics (calculus based physics, not algebra based) about which is harder, calculus or physics and he said calculus because at least physics was rational. So maybe physics won’t be as bad since its rational, tangible stuff. Maybe.
I don’t care about grades in these classes to be honest. There is literally no way a low grade in calculus or physics will ever matter in my life. It will lower my GPA, but I can just take mickey mouse courses to compensate for that, all I care about is a C- so I don’t have to take the courses again. Unless I intend to go to graduate school for math and physics (which require a B or higher to get in) I will never need a good grade in these courses, and I would only go to college for calculus and physics if a prison gang threatened to rape my father or something.
IUE has lower academic standards than IUB. I think that I will try to do Physics I and Calculus II in spring here at IUB. I figure I should go full ass into it just to get it over with. Then in summer I will try to do either linear algebra or Calculus III (I need either calculus III, linear algebra or intro to differential equations for my 3rd math class) and physics II at IUE if they are offered. If so then I will never have to take another calculus or physics course again. IUE is different than IUB, IUE is filled with people with GEDs, people who work 40 hours a week, single parents, blue collar people trying to work their way up in the world, etc. IUB is filled with 19 year old pre-med students with 3.8 GPAs from high school. So naturally the same classes are harder. So I figure take as much calculus and physics at IUE as I can to get it over with.
After it is all done with I will go on half.com and buy some 10 year old hardcover editions of calculus and physics textbooks, set them up in the yard and shotgun them to shreds. Then I will dump them in a grave, shit in the grave and put up a tombstone that says ‘never again’.
I think what bothers me the most is the esoteric-ness of it. Its not like a science course where you can see the info, or visualize it. Maybe i’m a visual learner and thats why I hate this course so much (since I can’t really visualize it), I don’t know but it does make sense. I have learned about myself that I learn info the best by seeing examples and diagrams, and calculus is esoteric where these things don’t exist as far as I can tell, at least not in this class. Maybe its the types of homework assignments that just ‘assume’ you understand the principles before you do. So maybe i’m a fish out of water in calculus and physics because the way I learn best doesn’t work on this subject. Take my earlier math classes, algebra pre-calc and trig. I was one of the top 3 students in all of these classes. In calculus I am near the 50% mark, 50% do better and 50% do worse. I personally don’t care about that I just feel afraid know that. I fear everyone else around me ‘gets it’ and I do not. Its probably not true though.
Give me a C-, thats all I care about. I got an 83% on the first test, which is good enough to pass. Lets hope I can keep the momentum going so I can get out of this place.