That goddamned fucking white piece of shit cat has got to go!
She has spread piss over every square centimetre of my house. I have used eight litres of vinegar laundering the clothes she has soiled, one time so badly that breathing the fumes actually made my throat sore. She’s terrorized and assaulted both of the other cats (who do not behave badly) until they’ve become nervous and twitchy. And tonight was the final straw.
I’m chatting on #straightdope and she’s sitting on my bed. I hear a hiss. I turn around with dread in my heart and shoo her away.
SHIT PISS FUCK CUNT COCKSUCKER MOTHERFUCKER AND TITS! Hostie de saint-sacrement de crisse de câlice de tabernac!
That fucking animal has pissed on my GODDAMNED BED. AGAIN!
The first time it just dirtied the sheet and undersheet. This time it’s splashed the duvet, which I have no idea how to clean, and soaked through the sheet, undersheet, and mattress and left big, dark yellow stains!
Now I have to get the fucking duvet drycleaned (for which I have NO MONEY until Thursday), launder the sheets, and do god knows what with the mattress. (Suggestions are welcome.)
But I want this cat out of my house. Unless that mammal is GONE by the end of the FUCKING WEEK, I am going to put it in a cardboard box and drop it into the FUCKING SAINT LAWRENCE.
I have only had one female cat that I have ever gotten along with.
The last one I had my husband got rid of for me.
We were in the same boat as you, and I kept saying to give her more time she would come around.
Well, on top of blatently staring at a person and proceeding to piss all over every thing, she started shredding curtains and walls, and clothing.
A week before child number three enters the world, cat number two leaves the house. She pissed in his crib!
When we first got her we adored her and she was a good cat. Her name was Sieate (C-A-T)
People thought it was pretty cool that my kids could spell cat at 2 and 3 years old until I told them they weren’t spelling cat, but it was her name.
Anyway, she got out and when she came back in she was carring a litter.
Cool, the kids can see the miricle of life!
She was way too young to have a litter, and I think that is what fried her little beady brain. She turned into a monster afterwards.
The happy ending to the story is that we kept one of the male cats and he is one of the best cats I have ever had. He is so mellow and lovable.
Good luck to Matt my love, and try not to harm the cat. I hope someone comes along who knows how to help you get that nasty smell out.
We ended up replacing our carpet, I hope you don’t have to replace your matress.
After careful consideration, Moishe (her owner) has decided to have her put down.
I’m really not thrilled. In fact I’m uncomfortable thinking about it. However, Moishe reasons that the current situation is unmanageable; especially as poor as we are, we cannot continue to absorb further damage to our clothes and bedding, apartment, and the other cats. He can’t give her back to her former owner. He can’t give her to anyone else because of her antisocial nature. There’s no point in giving her to the SPCA because she’s unadoptable. To put her out on the street would be cruel. There doesn’t seem to be any other option.
His is the final decision, and I support it.
But I guess I just don’t have the moral fibre I thought I did, because I’m glad it’s not me who has to make that decision.
Don’t be. You got angry, but you didn’t hurt the animal because of your anger. Calmer heads have prevailed and decided on a course of action, however distasteful it may be.
Just thought I’d give you a tip on cleaning your mattress.
Mr.Jawofech and I went away for 4 days last fall and each thought the other had filled the cat box with litter before we left. Ends up that neither of us had. The cat, pissed off we were away and with a litterless box, decided to use our bed for all his toilet needs. For 4 days! It was disgusting and the smell was incredible.
We bought a product called “Spot Shot” (I bought it at Canadian Tire and have since seen it at Home Hardware) and used it on the mattress. It was amazing. All the stains came right out and it helped tremendously with the smell. I also used some Fabreeze and there is absolutely nothing wrong with our mattress now. My father used it to take an old red wine stain out of white carpeting and it totally disappeared. Amazing stuff it is indeed. With two dogs and a cat, Spot Shot is my best friend.
My condolences to both you and your friend on what is obviously not an easy decision to make. Sometimes the toughest decisions are also the right decisions. Heart felt symapthies sent your way.
Un chapeau, un BBQ, un tapis - mais câlisse, c’est pas correc’! Crisses-y une volée!
(Fuck, Matt, do something… turn it into a hat, throw a BBQ, turn it into a rug… but fuckadee, this isn’t right! Deck it!)
Sorry. I really dislike cats. I’ve only had bad experiences with cats…
Matt, I can lend you one of my Schutzhund trainees… we call her the Ninja dog - she’ll go for the kill, and no one will never know it was her… (her name is Keeva)
Elly
P.S.: As-tu pensé lui enfoncer un bâton de dynamite profondemment dans l’derrière?
Gee that’s tough. How did the roommate end up with the antisocial devil cat in the first place? That sounds like a pitfall we all need to hear about and avoid. Deciding to have it put down must have been difficult, but given the circumstances and its unadoptable nature, that may well be the best thing to do.
At the same time, maybe she would do well as an outside cat? If there’s some undeveloped country around there (like a farm), she might live out her days happily romping in fields, eating mice, and not pissing on people’s beds. I don’t know if that’s an option where you are - I know you’re urban - but it might be worth looking into if the euthenasia option is getting the owner down (and if it’s not too late).
Depending on what the duvet’s made of, water. If it’s cotton or some other “washable” material, put it in the bathtub with some vinegar and a lot of water, then hang it out to dry. This is a pain in the ass to do, as wet duvets way a ton. Trust me, I know; I’ve played the same game with cats of my own before. And you may have to do it more than once to be sure all the smell is gone. Course, if it’s not washable, nevermind, and don’t forget a little extra to tip the dry cleaner for doing a bang up job.
I’d second the Spot Shot recommendation for the mattress. Anyhoo, congratulations on becoming cat-free!
I assume the cat has been to the vet to make sure it’s not a physical problem? I don’t believe in those pet psychics, or animal psychiatrists who go into its past lives . . . Is there anything that’s changed recently to make the cat psycho, or has it always been that way?
I don’t agree with having it euthanized. Aren’t there any no-kill shelters in your area? Vets who take them in? Hell, even making it an outdoor cat so it can fend for itself would at least be giivng it an even chance . . .
This sounds like behavioral problems. Is the litter box someplace where she has a clear line of site? Does she not like the litter?
An interesting book, which addresses cat quirks, is Is Your Cat Crazy? : Solutions from the Casebook of a Cat Therapist by John C. Wright, Judi Wright Lashnits
The following is a synopsis:
This seems to address your problem (I found it pretty interesting) If you really don’t feel comfortable about putting your cat down, you might want to check this book out (there’s another book called Psycho Kitty? (Sound familiar?) by Pam Johnson-Bennett. Both these books and others addressing your problem can be found on Amazon.com.
I have to second finding a place such as a farm or home in the country where the cat can roam free. It could be that she is just not in a comfortable envinronment. One of the cats I adopted from a shelter was noted by previous owners to have a spraying problem. Undaunted, I adopted her anyway along with a male kitten, and neither of them have ever sprayed. Maybe I’m just lucky. My parents “adopted” a cat from a less than attentive neighbor (the cat spent 90% of his time at the rent’s), and the cat is very much an outdoor cat. While he behaves and doesn’t spray during the miserable months, the days become longer and the sun starts shining and he starts to spray. Out, out, out he goes. Suffice to say, they are looking for someone who has a barn that he can live in.
Anyway, it just bothers me that your roommate has decided to kill the cat because its behavioural problems are exceptionally difficult. I understand that economically you can’t afford to keep the cat, and it must be removed from the household. Although, there might be someone out there that could provide a home where the cat wouldn’t have the chance to spray (outdoors) or can be an only cat. Sometimes they just don’t like to be roomed with other cats and react in less than desireable ways.
I feel for you my friend. In fact I know almost exactly what you are going through. When I sat Ophelia, she was a cute little cat that was satan in white fur. However, Ophelia didn’t piss on everything, she was just in heat and kept me sleep deprived for 4 of the last 6 weeks and she also kept her claws sharp at the expense of my nice couch and easy chairs. I know how scary it is to think “I could probably rip her head off with my bare hands”.
Can you keep her in a bathroom? How did you come into possesion of this beast, and when will the owner reclaim her?
Matt - I have come very close to perpetrating acts of unspeakable violence against my sister in law’s cat after he has decided that he needs to mark out his territory. I am amazed by my own restraint perhaps because I know how attached my sister in law is to him.
I am at the point of zero tolerance here, this cat has been reasonably behaved for the last little while but should he decide he needs to make a statement by doing his business anywhere but his litter box he will be getting an eviction notice. He will have to go. Period.
For the record, I like animals. I have two dogs and a cat of my own. They can be a pain in the ass but they don’t attack other animals or piss on things because they don’t like who owns the things in question. My cat doesn’t hiss and spit at everyone, doesn’t keep me up at night with his yowling, and doesn’t pick fights with other cats.
Elly