Sorry, Cary Grant, but you’ve been supplanted as the person I would most like to be when I grow up.
According to an article in today’s Washington Post, the Aga Khan has the life that we should probably all aspire to - devout, humble, a philanthropist and humanitarian of the first order, and rich as sin itself. I hereby offer myself up for the role should it become vacant.
Yes, I understand that I’m not exactly what the members of the Muslim sect of which the Aga Khan is head had in mind - I’m Episcoplian, cannot claim any direct descent from Muhammed, and enjoy pork barbecue sandwiches. All that being said, I do look damn good in a tuxedo, enjoy horse racing, and I’m sure I could develop the skills needed to jet around the world doing good deeds and squiring gorgeous women on my arm.
According to the article, the 3rd Aga Khan was celebrated at his 25th anniversary of ascending to the title by being given his weight in gold (he weighed 220 lbs at the time). A few years later he was given his weight in diamonds. I come in at a slim and trim 190 lbs right now, but don’t believe it is beyond my eating skills to pack on a few pounds before my Silver Anniversary.
In addition, the Aga Khan was once married to Rita Hayworth, and given that she’s as dead as a doornail I have no interest in her. There are many, many beauties out there, however, and I’m sure I could find my Rita Hayworth equivalent (sorry, dear wife Susan, but you’ll be well compensated in the settlement - I’m the Aga Khan now and I need a consort that befits my exalted status. I’m sure you understand).
So, my subjects - you may now address me as Lee, Aga Khan-in-Waiting.
I’ll be on my yacht should anyone need me.