Doob is my hero. Plain and simple. 
The hatred I feel for you burns with the intensity of a thousand suns. I yearn to watch carrion birds feast on your bloated decaying remains. I have never been able to compile a list of my enemies, as I could never get past item #1, which is you. I would rather stab myself in the eyeball with a screwdriver than be in your presence. You make me want to…
Excuse me for a second.
[sub]whisper mumble whisper Doobieous mumble whisper[/sub]
Doobieous? I thought we were talking about the Doobie Brothers! Whoops, my bad.
So, um, never mind all that. 
I like you even though I’ve gotten rollyeyes from you before as responses.
…and even though you’ve never bought me lunch.
I gotta confess, Doob… I am utterly lacking in opinion about you. I search my heart, repeating: “Doobieous? How do I feel about Doobieous?” and all I hear back is the echo of my own question.
Sorry, dude.
stoid
Doob, darling, scooby doo . . . I’m in love with you/darling scooby doo . . .
Okay, I see that nobody is going to get THAT reference (especially since I can’t remember the exact lyrics).
Yeah, Doob, I like you. You’re cool. You make me think.
Well, considering I told you months ago that if I ever turned to the dark side, I seek you out…yeah, you’re okay. I’m still working on Tiburon, though, so we’ll see.
Think about it: we’de have the best collection of Hawaiian shirts on the Board! Speaking of, what do you think of this one? Are the real coconut-shell buttons just darling or what?
You love me, you really love me! (Except stoid, but that’s OK, i have an equally lacking opinion about her too ;)). I think i’ll go weep tears of happiness!
Damnit, Doob, where’s my ass slap?
Slap! you stud you 
[sub]happy?[/sub]
Sure, Doob. I’d add you to my list of “if I was gay…” guys, right up there with John Cusack and Joe Strummer. You sexy bitch.
Ooh woodstock, i take that as a compliment, especially from a guy with such a great ass!
I’ve been waiting almost a year now for you to start this thread so I could tell you how much I loathe every fibre of your being.
But now that you have given me a forum in which I can, at long last, freely tell you my true feelings, I’m so appreciative of the opportunity–not to mention impressed by your emotional bravery–that suddenly I find within my breast newly-awakened feelings of admiration and, dare I say it, affection.
God, come on over here so I can give you a hug! No, a kiss! A kiss AND a hug! Here, can someone take our photo together?
But not in a platonic way. I like you in an “as if your singular existence had meaning apart from any archetypical manifestations” way.
I just had to post AGAIN!
I like you THAT much!
— G. Raven