I want to make the recipe in Hannibal.

However, being a vegetarian, I need something to substitute for the meat. Usually I’m pretty good at coming up with ideas, but this time I guess I don’t have the brains to do it. Any suggestions?

Er, what’s the recipe? Without knowing that, I’ll throw out “firm tofu with the proper marinade” as a suggestion (works in many recipes, at least), but I can’t get more specific until I know what’s involved…

I was going to ask if you knew a butcher that carried human.

I hear soylent green is worth a try.

Awhile ago, while browsing the aisles at my local Korean convenience store, I did see a package of gelatinous white goop labeled "Vegetarian Kidney Slices- Natural Health Food"© Although I am a devout carnivore, the incredible hilarity of the package led me to purchase the faux kidney slices© They are manufactured by the Whole Perfect Food Company Ltd© of Hong Kong, and their cooking directions include such gems as, “Scalded the vegetarian kidney sliecs until cooked©”

ANYWAY©©© this leads me to believe that it might be possible to prepare all sorts of soy-based organ meat facsimiles at a well-stocked Asian market© It’s worth a shot©

Scoop out the brains, replace with tofu?

It wouldn’t be quite the same, because I assume scooping out the brains would kill the container. How about putting saran wrap over the brains, then putting tofu or something over the wrap, so you’re not actually eating meat? You could jab & poke at the brains with a stick to stimulate them & get a fairly authentic effect, perhaps.

Those who don’t know the recipe must be finding this incomprehensible!


I don’t know how you’d get the marinade to work, either. :smiley:

Although, FWIW, I didn’t see how administering the marinade in the way it was done in the book would have any immediate effect on the flavor whatsoever.

Which recepie? Most assume it’s the contents of Krendler’s nogging but I’m sure the good doctor Lecter made something equally tasty with the backstrap from the redneck deer poacher.

How about a nice, whole, steamed cauliflower?

(I don’t know what the other details of the recipe are and I don’t aim to find out.)

Duh, you made that clear which recepie. :rolleyes:

You can use a large, hollowed-out squash to represent the skull cavity (if you have children, you could make a fun craft project of painting the gourd to resemble Krendler). See if the Whole Perfect Food Company Ltd. of Hong Kong offers Vegetarian Brain Slices, and cram the squash full of 'em. If not, just use the kidney slices… they’re sufficiently pale grey and squishy for these purposes. Prepare the butter and capers, and bon apetit!