Well, this turned out a bit long, but do read it, for me. It’s sort of a story-like post with some thoughts about the SDMB at the end. Thanks.
I suppose I should have noticed that she was wielding a clipboard.
Annnnnnnyway, I was at the mall the other day, trying to find some ideas for a birthday gifts(for myself; I’m the worst at giving people ideas). Anyway, I’m walking by the play area and this lady is sorta eyeballin’ me.
I walk sorta near her since she seemed to need help. Did she? Oh, no.
Her eyes light up and she says: Can I ask you some questions for a survey I’m conducting?"
Me: Uh, ok.
Her: It’s about shaving.
Me: Huh?
Her: Shaving. I’m asking questions about shaving.
Me: Oh. Okay.
Her: Do you shave?
Me: My face?
Her: Uh, yeah.
Me: Yes. I shave my face.
Her: Ok
Me: Just my face.
Her: Uh-huh. Do you buy your own shaving products?
Me: Well, my dad does actually. We use the same things.
[short pause]
Her: Come with me please.
Me: What?
[she turns to the side and starts walking]
Her: Come with me, please. I need to do some research with you down here(she points down the way a bit).
[I stay still]
Me: You want me to go with you?
Her: Yes.
Me: I don’t know, I mean, I kinda gotta…
Her: We’ll pay you.
Me: Okay.
[I walk with her]
Me: Are you going to pay me with razors?
Her: No, money.
Me: How much?
[she pauses for a bit]
Her: Eight bucks.
[short pause]
Me: Okay.
So we go into this place, called “Blah Blah Research Center” or whatever. I see this guy sitting down in a chair like he’s waiting for something.
Me: They caught you too?
Man: No, my wife.
[The lady returns to get me]
Her: Sir, come this way.
Man(as I walk away): You’ll be sorry!
Me: (nervous laugh)
We get to the back room and there are these little cubicles. At one other table, there is a lady(about 30) being asked questions about her shaving habits(sweeeeeeeeet mercy!). I try to not pay attention as the survey-lady prepares my form.
Her: Okay, sir. How many times have you shaved in the past week?
Me: Uh, twice.
Her: Maybe I should rephrase that. How many times in the past seven days have you shaved?
Me: I know. Seven.
[short pause]
Her: Hmmmmm…okay.
Me: I have very sensitive skin.
Her: Uh-huh. Could you identify if given a picture your type of razor?
Me: I guess.
[she gets some laminated posters and starts showing me pictures of Bic, Gillette, and Schick razors, both male and female ones]
Her: Are any of these your razor?
Me: Well, I use a male one.
Her: Uh-huh. Is that a brand?
Me: No, it’s a sex.
[She looks dumbfounded]
Her: A what?
Me: The Gillete Sensor Excel.
[Her face rumples, then a light goes off]
Her: Uh-huh. Have you ever consider switching brands or maake of razor?
Me: Well, it’s sort of a trick question.
Her: What?
Me: Well, if you asked me if I’ve ever considered eating squirrel, I could say yes, but only in circumstances I’d like to avoid.
[she looks confused]
Me: Uh, you can put yes. I’ve considered switching before.
[short pause]
Her: Uh-huh. Which of these razors looks the most feminine to you?
Me: They’re razors.
Her: I know. Which is most feminine?
Me: I guess that one.
Her: The pink one?
Me: (Sigh) Yes, the pink one.
Her: Uh-huh. Look at this series of prices for razors. Which would you most likely purchase?
[I examine the prices. One of them is three dollars cheeper than the next closest one.]
Me(pointing to the cheap one): I’d buy that one.
Her: Okay. Why?
Me: It’s three dollars cheaper.
Her: It is? No one’s noticed that.
Me: It costs $5.99. This one costs $8.99.
Her: So price matters to you.
Me: Of course. Doesn’t it matter to other people?
Her: We’re not allowed to reveal other respondents’ remarks.
Me: Oh.
This goes on for awhile, me choosing the least expensive price for each kind of razor.
Her: Well, we’re nearly done. Could you fill out this information with your name, address, and home phone number?
Me: Why?
Her: We need it.
Me: For what?
Her: For the survey.
Me: Why?
[she sweats a bit]
Her: Uh, we just do.
Me: Do they give me the eight bucks in cash?
Her: Yes.
Me: Where do you want me to sign?
Her: Right here.
Yeah, I gave them the info they needed. So I get up to leave and on th way out, they hand me the eight bucks. I had to sign again and I could see that 59 other people had participated in the same procedure I had. Some men, some women.
I keep wondering if they had men that asked women questions. I mean, they had this lady ask me questions. Can you imagine a guy looking at an 18 year old girl and saying, “So, how often do you shave your bikini area?”
I embellished this story slightly(very slightly) to make it fun and I left out some funny things that you had to see. I got my eight bucks(in cash) but I still feel a bit like a shaving-whore. I mean, I revealed the above information and more about a routine I don’t tell anyone about. And for what? Eight bucks?
Then again, EIGHT BUCKS!!! Wahoo!!!
This is my 500th post, at least as Mahaloth I had a different name before April 2000 and I had one before that. I had one back on AOL SDMB also.
I have never been much of a poster(frequency-wise) but that does not mean that I don’t appreciate this place. I have never seen a place that can be so warm to it’s members, while at the same time staying sarcastic to keep the life-blood pumping.
I considered having a post-party, but they have been a bit cliche(really past cliche now, they are on the decline). I have always been a great observer of the board and have enjoyed it over the years, seeing it grow to its current popularity.
I’ve seen members come and thrive. I’ve seen them come and pass away(Wally). I’ve seen them come and get banned(I mean, Satan???). I’ve made many mistakes and had some great threads.
For the most part it’s been a wonderful first 500 posts, even if I haven’t become “famous” around here. I hope the next 500 are equally enjoyable. See you in the future.
:wally