I’ve got a story about the time I used a mailman’s back as a ramp.
I get this bike for my birthday. It was my first ten-speed mountain bike. As mothers are apt to do, my female birth giver insisted I got one a little big, so I’d “grow into it”.
Well, my feet are barely touching the pedals.
So, I open up the front door and walk it out and start riding it around, loving the feeling of the wind whipping through my hair. Then I ride around my block a few times…and get to the third lap, and what do I see?
The mailman, walking along the sidewalk, minding his own business.
I’m gaining on the mailman very quickly. I’m pedaling backwards like a maniac trying to stop, but this is a ten speed back. Pedaling backwards isn’t the brakes anymore. 20 feet…15 feet…10 feet…I yell for the mailman to look out.
Tony Hawk or Dave Mirra or someone else that rides a bike for a living would have been jealous.
I took him by surprise and planted the wheel between his legs and ran him over. Used his back as a ramp.
I got air.
Mom was in the kitchen. Dad was in the driveway. The mailman yelled in pain. Mom thought it was dad. They were surprised when they found out it was the mailman. The mailman wasn’t very happy, but I was crying. Dad picked me up and I kept crying. The mailman walked away.
Dad says to me: “Hit him again, he’s still moving”.
The mailman tried to sue us, but it never came to fruition. Fast forward to when I turned 16. The same mailman takes over the route and mom feels the need to let the mailman know that I can drive now and to look out again.