I Was Propositioned Today.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

This is one of those stories that makes you laugh even though it is kind of sad.

Here is the conversation I had with the boy who took the groceries to my car today. He is mentally retarded.

John: “I take your groceries out, k?”

Me: “Sure, you can help me.”

John: “What’s your name.”

Me: “Diane. What is your name.”

Looking at his badge and pointing. “John, see right there? John. John. Do you have any kids? My name is John.”

Me: “I sure do. I have a daughter who is 16, a boy who is 9 and a boy who is 18.”

John: “I’m 18 too, that’s why I am big.”

Me: “Is that your school ring?”

John: “Yep. I go to ***** High School.”

Me: “That is the school my daughter goes to. Do you know ****”?"

John: “Yeah, but I don’t know anybodies name cuz I forget. Know what I did last night?”

Me: “Nope. What did you do last night?”

John: “I pooped in the potty seat all by myself.”

Me: “Wow! That’s cool!!!”

John: “Yeah, cuz I don’t know how. Do you know I wear diapers, not the baby kind but the big boy kind because I can’t potty myself.”

Me: “Oh yeah, I know about those kind of diapers, they definitely aren’t for little babies. They are just for big people who need help.”

John (grinning): “Yeah, cuz I am a big boy. When I am working I don’t have anyone to help me and I can’t change them by myself. I have to wait til I get home and have my mom help me.”

Me: “That’s not good if you have to wait a long time.”

John: “I know, it’s yuck.”

Me: “Thanks for helping me with my groceries John.”

John: “Do you think that maybe you could help me if I poop my pants and you are shopping cuz sometimes I go before I get home for my mom to help me.”

Me: “Ummmm. . . I don’t know if I can, but I might be able to figure something out.”

John: “Thanks nice lady.”

I got into my car and laughed my ass off! It sounds weird, but that was one of the nicest things anyone has said to me all week!

Now I have to figure out what I am going to do if he corners me in the grocery store and asks me to change his diaper. I mean, the mess would be bad enough, but it would be VERY inappropriate for me to be in the mens room with an 18 year old mentally disabled boy with his pants pulled to his ankles. Right?

2

Golly, Diane…couldn’t you have steered the conversation to a less disgusting topic?

3

I’m not really sure what I would do if that happened to me. Well, since I am a man, yes I do. For me, a simple “no” would do. Other than that, you could change grocery stores, I guess. It is not appropriate for a boy, retarded or not, to ask a customer to change his diaper. I would probably talk to the store manager. While it is great that someone that is retarded can hold a job, if he is that bad, he probably should not be working, at least with the public.

4

Just tell him that’s something that’s a job that’s only for his Mom or someone his Mom says is OK, not for just anyone.

And Diane, it says a lot that he trusted you, and a lot that you were so kind to him. A frighting number of people would have grabbed their groceries and told him to go away. Brava!

5

Once again I ask myself “Why doesn’t this shit ever happen to me?”

That’s definitely one of the weirder stories I’ve heard. I don’t know what I’d do if I were you. But I sure as hell wouldn’t change the guy’s diapers. I mean, I’m open-minded, but there’s a limit.

6

I’m with swimming. Good job. He didn’t, doesn’t, realize that that was inappropriate. Our local grocery store hires mentally retarded people to bag and take-out. I find that pretty damn cool. You can see that they really enjoy their work and enjoy the contact with the myriad of people they otherwise might never see.

Cheezit. Are you serious? Talk to the manager and have him fired? You must be one mean S.O.B… Come on, what the kid said wasn’t that bad, was it?

They’ve said some pretty strange things to me in the past but I’ve simply dismissed it much like the O.P. did. It’s harmless.

BTW… It occurs to me that they’re filling a job that most people would never consider… and enjoying it!

Chris

7

Diane, I really admire the way you dealt with John. As SR said, a lot of people would have grabbed their groceries and ran, or worse, said something like “get the hell away from me.”

I wouldn’t actually help the guy with his diaper, but I would do something like help him get ahold of his mom - maybe she could come into the store or something.

cheezit, you’ve got to be kidding - what would you tell the manager, that a mentally impaired person was saying gross things to you?? He obviously didn’t realize that diapers aren’t a normal conversational topic. Sheesh, give the kid a break.

And I’ve heard thousands of WAY more “inappropriate” remarks from people who are 100% “normal” and should absolutely know better.

8

Diane, you did great. Those people are here in order to allow us to practice charity. Your humanity shines brightly.

If he actually asks, I think telling him that only his mother can help with that is a good approach.

9

Yeah really cheezit… Lets keep them all in a cage at their house so that the immature prudish public will not have to hear such words like “potty”. Oh god, how awful.

I agree with SwimmingRiddles!! You really should stress to that child that changing his diaper is a “Mommy” thing.
There are sickos that would actually take advantage of a situation like that and go play with the boy in the bathroom.
If you were going to talk to a manager, do not try to get the boy fired, but ask him if you could talk to the boy’s mother about it. Tell her it was not a problem for you to hear, but that you are worried for the boy’s safety and well being. I am actually kind of concerned about him now. All he had to do is ask the wrong “nice lady” or “nice man” and next thing you know, the man or lady is getting VERY nice with him.

I am a substitute teacher for extra money, and sometimes I teach classes with these children. Do not feel bad for laughing because they crack me up!!! Some of the things they say have me laughing all day.

10

Quote:

Those people are here in order to allow us to practice charity

Please tell me I’m reading this wrong.

If you’re implying what I think you are, you have some explaining to do.

Then again, explaining your line of thinking would only expose your lack of understanding and complete ignorance more thoroughly. Maybe you shoudn’t.

11

Diane, I just wanted to say that you’re SUCH a sweetheart for talking to this kid NORMALLY. You handled the situation very appropriately. Very cool! A lot of people are embarrased to talk to mentally handicaped people, and would do anything to keep the convo to a minimum.

I’ll bet you good money this kid will remember this for a long time. And so will I.

Cheezit: complaining to the manager? Tell me you’re kidding. Be thankful that initiatives like this exist! Here in the Netherlands, we don’t have that sort of thing. True enough, groceries aren’t bagged for you at stores here. But I don’t see many mentally handicapped people in other jobs either, except for some government institutions. I think it’s great that local businesses are doing this to help their community.

12

CnoteChris (to LouisB)

Please get a grip, Cnote. I’m not sure if you object to the word “charity” or if you think LouisB’s statement implies a relative value judgement on his part of the mentally impaired. In either case, to say that someone shows “complete ignorance” of a subject on the basis of a 12 word sentence is bit of hubris on your part, don’t you think?

Well meaning people who police others’ speech to “correct” those who phrase their kind thoughts in politically incorrect ways do a disservice to genuinely kind people such as Diane and to the people they help.

13

You saw past his differences and realized he was a real live human being. Kudos to you, Diane.

::jumping on the bandwagon::

Cheezit, you need something. I’m not a professional so I can’t say what it is, but it definitely is something.

14

You really are the rockin’est chick around, Di. Go, you!

15

I must admit, the first time I read the OP, I missed the part about John being mentally retarded, and I thought he was a kid hitting on Diane in the strangest way.

But, after I re-read it, I have to give Diane credit for being very classy and respectful about it. I’ll agree with everyone who’s said you’ve done the right thing, Diane.

16

What in the hell are you talking about? And I will let you know right now I don’t have to explain a goddamned thing to you. Maybe you should jam it.

17

Diane, it sounds like he has the mentality of about a 3-4 year old and you did a perfect job handling him.
Kudos to you. I might’ve been a bit weirded out.

18

I have a grip.

And I believe I was well within my right to stomp on a comment I took offensive to. A comment I thought was directed at me, not the mentally impaired.

Quote: Those people are here in order to allow us to practice charity.

– Personally, I read that as a statement against those of us who supported Diane’s actions. That is, while we may feel better about how she responded to the kid who spoke inappropriately, it accomplished nothing in the long run. Almost a smug ‘your so good for being good’ kinda pot-shot.

If that was the case, I think that was inappropriate given her actions. No part of her post implies that she was being condescending in any way. In fact, I thought she acted admirably and with tact. A hard thing to find in this day and age.

If that was not the case I apologize.

Quote: ‘Well meaning people who police others’ speech to “correct” those who phrase their kind thoughts in politically incorrect ways do a disservice to genuinely kind people such as Diane and to the people they help’

Excuse me, but where in my post did I go after Diane? And where did I try and correct what he was saying as opposed to responded to what he said?

19

Settle down. I have. If I misread and/or misinterpreted your post, I apologize…

20

Whoa, whoa, whoa…talk about a serious miscommunication.

Everybody simmer down and count to ten.

FWIW, I certainly didn’t read LouisB’s comment the same way you did, Cnote. The way I understood it, he was talking about the mentally impaired, not the folks who patted Di on the back for being cool with John.

No harm, no foul, just a case of lines getting crossed.