I wasn't trying to be rude but...

In My Humble Opinion
1

2 of my friends and I were in the Thrift Store today and we saw some “Tighty Whiteys” for sale, I didn’t even know that was legal.
We were looking at the underwear like “who the heck is going to buy some crusty ass used underwear”.
I could understand shirts and jeans but underwear, that’s just nasty.
When we got in line some dude was actually buying the underwear and I was so shocked I couldn’t help it, I said “Why are you buying used underwear is this some kind of dare?” and when I said that the girl behind the counter STARTed laughing and then the 2 guys that were with me were laughing even harder.
Then my friend “Jason” said “I’d check for stains before buying those” and the girl behind the counter was trying not to laugh but she could barely hold it in.
Then a discussion began about the fact that no matter how desperate or poor we became we would never buy used underwear and this is around the time the guy walked out without paying for the “Tighty Whiteys”. Most likely we embarassed him, I’m really sorry that he was embarrassed because it was none of my business if he wanted to buy some cheap underwear but I honestly couldn’t help it, I said the same thing that most people would be thinking. I wasn’t trying to be rude because I just asked basically if it was a dare and everybody took it from there and probably made the poor guy cry.

Then the other thing I just thought of is; Why would he be embarassed? Obviously any person that can walk into a store and buy a few pairs of previously worn underwear should have a pretty high embarrassment thresh hold.

2

Why does the fact that they were “Tighty-Whiteys” mean they were used? Aren’t they called that because they’re, um, tight and white? Thrift stores generally sell underwear (and everything else) at a cheaper price, but that doesn’t mean it was used. Am I missing something?

3

Sorry, kiddo, but you were totally out of line. You took what was probably an embarrassing situation for the guy and made it way worse.

For the record, a lot of thrift stores carry manufacturers’ seconds - unused clothing that has flaws of some type, often not even visible flaws. Don’t assume that because it was in a second-hand store, it was used.

4

You were rude.

I grew up very poor. We shopped at thrift stores as a matter of survival.

Do you believe that there is some mystical infestation that inhabits underwear which no detergent, no bleach, nothing can remove, that they are stained with the essence of their original owner?

If so, perhaps you should hook up with the homoepathy folks; your understanding of science is on par with theirs.

As the eldest child, I got new clothes more than my brother did. He wore my hand-me-downs and there was no shame in that.

I am fortunate now to be in a position of wearing custom-made suits. I do not forget that I once wore second-hand clothes from necessity.

I think you should reconsider your sniggering.

5

Yep. You were rude even to mention it, but to then keep going with your disparagement was way beyond rude. It was none of your damned business what the fellow was buying, nor the reasons why.

For the bloke to be buying second-hand jocks (let’s assume they were second hand) he may well have been seriously down on his luck. Comments like yours would have just kicked him further into despair, and by his walking out, that is exactly what happened by the sounds of it.

Why don’t you make it a future policy to keep your mouth shut about other people’s buying habits…at least until you are out of earshot.

6

I know at least one person who grew up pretty damn poor, and, from him, I know that thrift stores do sell new underwear. Other times, you can end up with underwear that, while not in the package, has obviously never been worn. Regardless of this fact, like you, most people around your age wouldn’t be caught dead in thrift store underoos–you know, the stigma of being poor and all.

Here’s a similar situation: imagine, then, a larger-than-average person standing in line at the store, carrying a large and unflattering outfit. You ask if they’re buying such a hideous outfit on a dare, and then, when they don’t answer, proceed to have a conversation with your friends saying, basically, no matter how overweight you became, you would NEVER wear something like that. Meanwhile, the person in front of you is buying the outfit because it’s the only thing in the store that’ll fit (and, seeing as how some mall stores only carry up to size 13 or so, it wouldn’t necessarily have to be a Guinness Book candidate).

The person would likely be very embarassed. You would have committed a rather large faux pas, though admittedly, it wouldn’t have been deliberate. Though, to be fair, you should’ve known that discussing a stranger’s choice in underwear is rude to begin with. I mean, I don’t go up to 40 year-old women and say, “well, huh, no matter how old I got, I’d never wear granny panties like that! Are you going to use them for sails?”

I mean, it’s not like you can exactly apologize, but you can at least bite your tongue next time :).

7

No, I think it was the fact that they were in the thrift store that led to the belief that they were used.
I withhold further comment.

8

START, as seen at least once before, you need to learn some impulse control.

I know it’s hard; I don’t have great impulse control myself. But you were totally out of line here.

Think about how you feel when you feel poor. Now imagine your friend had actually laughed at your house and your life in comparison to his.

I think you’re going to catch a lot of flack for this thread. Please take it all to heart. Speaking from experience, poor impulse control will come back and bite you in the ass. Repeatedly. The best way to prevent it is to stifle those impulses.

9

Do you really have to ask if your behavior was appropriate? Just look at the results. A man was humiliated into walking out of the store. What had he done to you to deserve that? You made the guy feel bad about himself without knowing anything about him.

IIRC, you’re a high school student, right? Have you ever lived on your own yet? Have you ever had to support yourself?

A little bit of poverty would give you a whole new perspective. I’ve been there. I’ve bought underwear at thrift stores because I had no choice. I was very close to being homeless at one point. If I had been given shit about buying used clothes by some punk teenagers (and that’s how I would have perceived you) I would not have walked out so quietly.

I realize you probably didn’t mean any harm but this was a case where even a little bit of thought should have told you this guy wasn’t buying underwear in a thrift store because he wanted to. It was probably hard enough for him as it was and you just deprived him of whatever anonymous dignity he had left by calling attention to it. Congratulations.

I don’t want to dog you out and call you an asshole because I don’t think you are but this is a moment for learning, dude. You’ve said before on this board that you’re a Christian. How did Jesus treat poor people? How did he tell YOU to treat poor people? How would you want to be treated if you ever found yourself in that situation? Think about it.

If that salesgirl laughed at that man she needs a serious asschewing from her manager, btw. She does not get paid to make customers feel like shit.

10

Start

Your behavior was disgusting and shameful.

11

That was a very assholish thing to say. Someday I hope you get put into that situation so you know what it’s like.

12

I’d forgotten about the OP of that thread. Thanks BlueKangaroo.

START, this current thread just makes you look like even more of an arsehole given your concern back then. Do you have even half a brain?

I don’t know how old you are, but in my experience around kids, by the age of around 8 or 10 most have learned that it is horridly uncouth to make comments such as yours. If my kids had done what you did, they would have experienced the Lethal Mum Glare or the Patented Shoulder Grasp* as I led them out of the store to be further berated in the car. And as Doggy Knees said, the shop-assistant should be sacked for her behaviour as well.

*The Patented Shoulder Grasp looks, to the casual observer, as if you are affectionately putting your adult hand upon the kid’s shoulder. In reality though, you are plunging your fingers in between the sinews and muscles, causing discomfort (read: extreme pain) to indicate to said kid that their behaviour is completely unacceptable. If they continue, you stick your spiny, arthritic mum-fingers further in, causing them to drop to the ground in agony. Works a treat, and doesn’t leave a mark. :smiley:

13

Can’t really defend my actions here at all, I was being a jerk and a horrible Christian but I had no intention of embarassing the guy, I mean I was buying used clothes too so it’s not like I was looking down on him.
Also the girl behind the counter and my 2 friends, I believe took it to the next level because I would have left it alone after that.
Yes I do have a problem with impulse control and it’s creepy that someone said that because that was exactly what all my teachers said between 1st grade and Junior High.
That’s why I had to take anger management classes, be under contract with every teacher I had between 5th and 8th grade, take pills and ended up at an alternative High School, which is basically for kids who get kicked out of regular High School.
Believe me I am working on it, impulse control that is because I’m not that big so I don’t want to get my ass kicked one of these days or end up going to jail later in life because if I ever went to jail I would become a toy…so because of that I am working on impulse control and maybe this will be the last time you hear about me doing something stupid…well atleast for a long time.

14

I’m glad to hear that you listened to us. What matters is not that you did it but that you learn from it. I don’t believe you intended to be mean. I think you were just trying to crack up your friends. The fact that you asked about it here at all shows that you have a conscience.

We’ve all been your age, so it’s not we we think we’re above you or anything. Most of us are just more experienced. I sure as hell can’t defend everything I did when I was 18 or 19 years old (and I have impulse control problems too, so i can relate). You’re just human.

And you’re not a bad Christian either. Whenever you feel like you’ve been a bad Christian you’re actually being a good Christian (if that makes any sense). It’s the self examination that makes you good.

15

Yeah, START, you were way out of line. Saying that you weren’t “looking down on him” sounds pretty evasive considering what you said in the OP:

However, it might be beneficial to the other posters to point out that this isn’t the Pit…so insults might not be looked upon favorably.

16

I don’t know, this is why I love the SDMB. Most people explained, gently, what he did wrong. I know START is young, and when you’re young, you’re often completely insensitive. The fact that he even realizes it is a good start.

17

Certainly. I’m just sayin’…stuff like “Do you have even half a brain” might not be commended in this forum, even though most of the comments have been civil.

I agree…I mean, if it had been me instead of START, I probably wouldn’t even have had the fortitude to write about it here. It just seemed to me that he was altering his story a bit between posts. No big, but I thought it might be instructive to point it out.

18

Remind me to check if you are in the store before I go in to buy any personal items.

19

I’d be more than happy to post more condemnatory stuff about START’S cerebral capacity, especially since he posted the stuff about worrying about his socio-econimic status back in that other thread. But this is not the forum to do so, and I accept that he has seen the error of his ways and has vowed to pull his sox up in the future.

Yeah, Right.

20

Ratchet back the bile, kambuckta. If you want to flame the OP then do it…in the Pit. You don’t have to make all nicey-nice but your low level sniping is getting stale. You’ve done this before. Either go for it frontwise or scale it back.

TVeblen