Back story: I had some neighbors move in a couple of houses down a few months ago. They have a 17yo boy there that I have become friendly with. By friendly, I mean we both pretty much have the same dog walking schedule and we run into each other quite often. When we do; we’ll chat each other up. The conversation mainly consist of what the latest modifications he’s done to “Pimp His Ride”.
He’s a good kid.
The situation: I have a friend comming into town this weekend. He’s staying at my place. On Friday or Saturday he wants to get me and some other old buddies together to go about Dallas barhoping. Basically it’s going to be a bunch of middle age guys acting like college frat boys.
I had made plans that everybody would meet at my house and we would hire a taxi to drive us around that night. Well, I had came up with the brainstorm that instead of hiring a taxi; I would just offer the job to my young neighbor.
I thought this would be great. We would all have the comfort of my nice big truck (I was going to let the kid drive my truck) It looks nice, it smells nice. Win, win.
So I told the kid it’s $60 to drive us around from about 8 or 9 till around 2ish. I went on to tell him that $60 is the guarantee that’s coming out of my pocket alone. There’s no doubt in my mind that the other guys in the group will offer up more money. I could easily see the kid walking away with a $100 that night. Not bad for a teenager.
He told me he was all for it; he just had to run it by the parental units.
So today, I get an agry knock on my door from this kids mother. Giving me what for about “exposing” her kid to (gasp) alcohol. :rolleyes: And that I should be ashamed of myself, blah, blah, blah…
Anyway, Am I crazy for thinking that showing this kid that “Hey, if you’re gonna drink; be responsible and DON’T DRIVE?!”
Well, depending on state law, there may be restrictions on his driving times, and working times. In theory, he should probably have a commercial license if he’s going to drive a car with passengers for money, and I don’t think minors can get those. Could be some insurance issues, too. I wouldn’t let a child of mine take the job.
Real bad idea, he’s underage, you’re hiring him to drive your vehicle(insurance), he’s taking you to bars, he’s underage, his license may not allow him to carry passengers after dark, he’s underage, you’re probably going to be drunk, he’s underage.
Did I mention he’s underage and you want him to drive you to bars?
It’s actually a good idea to ask parents first before offering anything to a kid. This starts with offering them cookies when they are little and continues on into the teen years. Maybe his mom is just uptight, maybe they have a family history of alcoholism, maybe he’s recently gotten in trouble for something, who knows. But it’s not cool to put parents in the position of being the big meanie saying no when a stranger offers their kid a treat.
If you can stomach it, I’d suggest apologizing, saying you didn’t think things through and realize you should have asked her first.
Depending on the state, minors are not allowed alone in liquor stores, even to buy non alcoholic items. What if one of these guys purchased a bottle and got in the truck with it?
Most states are VERY strict about minors and alcohol.
If I was the kid’s mother, exposure to alcohol would be the least of my worries. I’m sure you had good intentions, but really, this was a bad idea. A hugely, horribly bad idea.
A. You absolutely should have spoken to the parents first. The boy is a minor, not an adult.
B. You should have thought through the implications. What if one of your buddies decides to open a beer and drink it in the car. And you get pulled over. Here’s a minor driving with an open container in the car. Don’t know about the laws in your state, but that would not go over well with the police in mine.
C. As a parent, my son would absolutely not be allowed to do anything of the kind. And I’m by no means some prudish, over-protective helicopter mom.
D. This mom doesn’t know you from Adam. You said they just moved there a few months ago. Had you even met the parents before that? Have you not heard any stories about sexual predators?? Oh yes, I’ll let my 17 year old jump in the car with some middle-aged guy I don’t know and he only knows from a few brief chats. Oh, and there’ll be more men and lots of drinking. Really - think about it from the mother’s perspective. YOU know your intentions are honest, but what does the mother know about you? Absolutely nothing. And frankly, if she let the kid go, I’d question her parenting skills even more than your judgment for asking to begin with.
License endorsements aside (I can’t comment on the legality), my parents would have been putting me forward for the job at that age. He gets to drive a big shiny truck around all night, learn a lesson about responsible (well kinda responsible) drinking, and perhaps even see a few cool bars.
For insurance - it would be cool on my insurance (assuming he was legal to drive in the first place) as I “authorised” the loan. Worries about commercial license and all the rest - blah de blah, its a kid doing a favour for his neighbour. He’s not doing this as a commercial enterprise.
But this is not the issue, mum is obviously annoyed. I think you will need to apologise to here and explain its just something that occured to you on the spur of the moment. Explain what and why he will be doing and that there is NO WAY IN HELL he’ll be touching alcohol and then driving your truck. (will he even be allowed in the bars in the first place?)
You do realize that in just a few short months the kid will be old enough to kill people in the name of the US government? Are you really sugesting that in these few short months he’s got a significant amount of growing up to do?
Also, as far as the sexual predator thing goes; that’s just crazy. I don’t hear of a lot of 17yo boys being sexually molested against their will. Especially this kid. He could probably squash me like a grape if he had half a mind to.
Also, I have full coverage insurance and there would be no stops at the beer store and there certainly wouldn’t be any drinking in the truck.
Being under the infuence doesn’t make one a COMPLETE retard.
I digress tho’. I DO see how all this would be a hard pill to swallow for the mother. I admit I didn’t think that part all the way through.
Still, she didn’t have to come banging on my door like a mad woman.
Yeah, that’s what it comes down to. A simple “We don’t think that would be a good idea” would suffice. Her reaction makes it sound like you’d already taken the kid out and gotten him blitzed. Why should you be ashamed of yourself for asking the question?
But you’re in Texas, right? The Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission and the Department of Public Safety are well known for their easygoing ways when it comes to any combination of driving, alcohol and minors, so I’m sure you had nothing to worry about.
Underage by three years and change, bub. Texas liquor laws consider anyone under 21 to be a minor. But it’s such an unjust law, I’m sure you could argue that in court if y’all happened to get in an accident and the DPS trooper finds a 17 year old ferrying around two sloshed middle aged men in front of a bar.
But just being in a car where another person has alcohol can get him in trouble. It may depend on states yadda yadda, but yes, you can get fined or worse for just being in the same space where other people are doing illegal things or things that are legal for them but illegal for you.
And SHAKES, I’d really like to know how does someone get sexually molested without it being against their will. If it’s not against their will, it’s not molestation. And yes, it does happen to 17 year olds. And to 40 year olds, and to 80 year olds…
Well, you don’t know her or her family. Maybe there’s a reason she’s that worried. Maybe her nephew was abused by a neighbour. Maybe her son’s best friend recently died in a car crash, as happened to a friend of mine recently. Maybe her son is a terrible driver. There are all sorts of reasons why someone could over-react to some adult man that they don’t know asking their minor son to drive them around while they get drunk.
It depends how the son phrased it to her, too; it might have been:
‘Mom, you’ve seen that guy Shakes, who lives down the road, and has that cute puppy? He’s asked if I can drive him and his friends to town Friday night. Is that OK? He’ll give me some money and I’ll make sure you know where I am.’
As opposed to:
‘Mom, I’m out Friday. [Where are you going?] Driving some dude and his buds out to bars.’
You weren’t bad for considering the son as a driver, not at all, but, like Salem said, try to see it from their point of view. Even if she was just over-reacting for no good reason (which is entirely possible), you know you should have asked her first or at least met her first. She doesn’t know that you have good insurance coverage and have a record of behaving reasonably well even when drunk. As far as she knows, you’re a neighbour who wants to get blasted and have a teenager carry him home.
Frankly, if he were driving for you and something happened (even if it were just swerving to avoid a dog and getting a minor injury), you’d end up being responsible for a 17-year-old - you’d need to know his parents. The age distinction is arbitrary (for pragmatic reasons), but it exists, and you have to work within it.
Even you say ‘they have a 17 year old boy.’ He’s his parents’ child rather than being an independent adult.
As I understood it, the plan was to go bar-hopping, not liquor store-hopping. Unless I am missing something, this means that all the liquor would stay in the bar.
Oh, I see. But wouldn’t they agree beforehand that if they stop at a liquor store that it all goes in the trunk? And wouldn’t the buddies be hyperaware of the possibility of getting the kid in trouble and that he’d be doing them a favor? I guess I’m not understanding the assumption that the proposed project must eventualy involve illegal activities.
Do (reasonable) people in a state like Texas, where the alcohol police are notorious, actually ride in cars with liquor in not-the-trunk?
Not the way the nanny-state sees it. When it comes to underage boys, there have been some pretty high-profile cases of teenage males having sex with adults as completely willing (and possibly even instigating) participants, but the adult still gets nailed for statutory rape and made to register as a sex offender, essentially branding them a child molester.