I water down my Soy Sauce.... and other Domestic Trickery

My kid is a picky eater, but one thing he hogs into is rice. Rice soaked in Soy Sauce.

But hey, that shit has a lot of sodium (see below about what I do with his eggs) and is getting scarce since the covid bullshit (Why? I don’t have a fucking clue! It’s just not in the store anymore) and not really cheap when compared to the beer I drink.

So, I cut that shit, like street junkies cut coke or smack. But I just use water. Cut it down to about 'Half-and-Half".

I gotta do what I gotta do.

And about his eggs: I lie to him, telling him I put salt and pepper in when I scrambled them. I know he always puts some in anyway. Maybe just a little less this way.

And I used to make the wife’s coffee with… oh, never mind.

What’s wrong with black pepper?

They make low sodium soy sauce.

Not a damn thing but the price per pound.

Is he sodium deficient? Is he on some medication that might make him crave salt? My mom is on something that makes her overall everything, but she’s in her 70s.

So do I.

No, you make watered down soy sauce. Not the same thing.

If you ask his mom, he’s everything deficient. I find him to be just fine. Just a few ‘irregularities’

He drives like an Asshole. Can’t imagine where he got that from???

The sodium glutamate and sodium chlorate are most of what gives soy sauce flavor, though, in my experience. And soy sauce is pretty strong so a little and a lot can taste pretty similar.

And, anyways, his method is much less expensive. Low sodium anything costs more, not less. And his whole point is that he’s working on a budget.

Actually, my whole point is ‘I’m a dick’.

Are you keeping him chained up In an empty cistern, occasionally feeding him a meager portion of bland rice and eggs?

No. He works for Fed-Ex.

And he can’t cook his own rice n eggs the way he likes it?

Hmmm. Even with COVID issues, I’ve been able to regularly get the 2qt bottle of Low Sodium Kikkoman soy for $6.49 at Costco. Now I have had a hard time getting some of my dark brewed soy sauce at the local Asian market, but not any other sauce shortages other than alfredo, which is just gone from most of my locals stores (other than the 100% market up non-dairy alfredo which no one buys).
You can try to cut it with other options, such as homemade quasi-ponzu (cut the soy with lemon juice), or with low-sodium chicken broth which may or may not have it’s own glutimates. Do you know what it is he loves about it? Is it an excuse to eat salt, or something about the flavor profile? The only other thing I can suggest is many varieties of Tamari (not all by any means) are lower sodium than soy sauce, while having an almost identical flavor profile (depending on the quality and type of your soy sauce of course).

I do the cooking. That’s just the we roll here.

I also re-use dryer sheets. I’ll save up a few and toss them back in. After a half-dozen uses, I put them in a bag and toss them in the Jeep. For picking up mis-laid dog shit, or in an emergency, TP or firestarter. Alway be ready, folks.

64 oz of Kikkoman soy sauce on Amazon, for $12.70, true the low sodium is almost twice that.

I’m too lazy to look stuff up online, but I’ll post here all goddamn night long, and try to change my password on the DMV site 43 times. No Joy.

Who buys black pepper by the pound? How much does the kid use anyway?

I don’t use dryer sheets, and my gf is perplexed by my lovely, static-free laundry. I’m pretty sure the dryer sheets she uses leave some residue behind and my clothes benefit.

Poor kid or lucky kid, you make the call.

I rarely purchase soy sauce so I’m ignorant as far as the price and availability. Black pepper seems to be cheap as hell, though. I even get the fancy generic pepper grinder things for under a buck. I add a whole lot of salt to everything though I like to use “lite salt” with the lower sodium and extra potassium.

I once found myself unable to purchase ketchup and that was one thing my kids had to have with whatever food they were having. I attempted to make some myself and I will never hear the end of it. So I know about trying to save a buck when it comes to children’s condiments.