I went on a trip

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
101

At the airport the police are waiting to arrest me for:

Attempted Armed Abduction of an Animal,
Bungled Burglery of a Blue Barracuda,
Concealing a Carnivorous Cream-Colored Cockatiel,
Diabolically Doing Dastardly Deeds,
Experimentally Exporting Extremely Expensive Exoskeletons of Extroverted Existentialist Extraterrestrials Expeditiously,
Flatuently Following Five Freewheeling Flowergirls,
Grossly & Gregariously Guzzling Gallons of Grenadine,
Hounding, Harrassing and Heckling Hottie Help at Hilo, Hawaii’s Hooters,
Injuring Illustrious Irish Idolaters in Iceland,
Jovially Jiggling Josie Jones’ Jiggly, Jiggly Jugs,
Kafkaesquely Kissing a Karmic Kungfoo Koala in a Kagool,
Lasciviously Licking Libertine Lithuanian Lasses’ Long, Lovely Legs,
Marginally Meandering Menacingly, Marrying Maryland Mobsters,
Naughtily Nudging Nice Nuns with kNifes,

and Offensively Ogling Ostentatious Octogenarian Ocelots.

102

At the airport the police are waiting to arrest me for:

Attempted Armed Abduction of an Animal,
Bungled Burglery of a Blue Barracuda,
Concealing a Carnivorous Cream-Colored Cockatiel,
Diabolically Doing Dastardly Deeds,
Experimentally Exporting Extremely Expensive Exoskeletons of Extroverted Existentialist Extraterrestrials Expeditiously,
Flatuently Following Five Freewheeling Flowergirls,
Grossly & Gregariously Guzzling Gallons of Grenadine,
Hounding, Harrassing and Heckling Hottie Help at Hilo, Hawaii’s Hooters,
Injuring Illustrious Irish Idolaters in Iceland,
Jovially Jiggling Josie Jones’ Jiggly, Jiggly Jugs,
Kafkaesquely Kissing a Karmic Kungfoo Koala in a Kagool,
Lasciviously Licking Libertine Lithuanian Lasses’ Long, Lovely Legs,
Marginally Meandering Menacingly, Marrying Maryland Mobsters,
Naughtily Nudging Nice Nuns with kNifes,
Offensively Ogling Ostentatious Octogenarian Ocelots,

and Passionately Painting Priceless Patented Primadona Portraits Purplish-Pink.

103

At the airport the police are waiting to arrest me for:

Attempted Armed Abduction of an Animal,
Bungled Burglery of a Blue Barracuda,
Concealing a Carnivorous Cream-Colored Cockatiel,
Diabolically Doing Dastardly Deeds,
Experimentally Exporting Extremely Expensive Exoskeletons of Extroverted Existentialist Extraterrestrials Expeditiously,
Flatuently Following Five Freewheeling Flowergirls,
Grossly & Gregariously Guzzling Gallons of Grenadine,
Hounding, Harrassing and Heckling Hottie Help at Hilo, Hawaii’s Hooters,
Injuring Illustrious Irish Idolaters in Iceland,
Jovially Jiggling Josie Jones’ Jiggly, Jiggly Jugs,
Kafkaesquely Kissing a Karmic Kungfoo Koala in a Kagool,
Lasciviously Licking Libertine Lithuanian Lasses’ Long, Lovely Legs,
Marginally Meandering Menacingly, Marrying Maryland Mobsters,
Naughtily Nudging Nice Nuns with kNifes,
Offensively Ogling Ostentatious Octogenarian Ocelots,
Passionately Painting Priceless Patented Primadona Portraits Purplish-Pink.

and Quickly, Quietly Quelling Queen’s Qataarian Quack

104

and Raucously rolling in rain with rumbunctious Romanian roadies

105

At the airport the police are waiting to arrest me for:

Attempted Armed Abduction of an Animal,
Bungled Burglery of a Blue Barracuda,
Concealing a Carnivorous Cream-Colored Cockatiel,
Diabolically Doing Dastardly Deeds,
Experimentally Exporting Extremely Expensive Exoskeletons of Extroverted Existentialist Extraterrestrials Expeditiously,
Flatuently Following Five Freewheeling Flowergirls,
Grossly & Gregariously Guzzling Gallons of Grenadine,
Hounding, Harrassing and Heckling Hottie Help at Hilo, Hawaii’s Hooters,
Injuring Illustrious Irish Idolaters in Iceland,
Jovially Jiggling Josie Jones’ Jiggly, Jiggly Jugs,
Kafkaesquely Kissing a Karmic Kungfoo Koala in a Kagool,
Lasciviously Licking Libertine Lithuanian Lasses’ Long, Lovely Legs,
Marginally Meandering Menacingly, Marrying Maryland Mobsters,
Naughtily Nudging Nice Nuns with kNifes,
Offensively Ogling Ostentatious Octogenarian Ocelots,
Passionately Painting Priceless Patented Primadona Portraits Purplish-Pink.
Quickly, Quietly Quelling Queen’s Qataarian Quack
Raucously Rolling in Rain with Rambunctious Romanian Roadies,

…and Stealthily Sodomizing Seven Sprightly Somalian Salamanders.

106

At the airport the police are waiting to arrest me for:

Attempted Armed Abduction of an Animal,
Bungled Burglery of a Blue Barracuda,
Concealing a Carnivorous Cream-Colored Cockatiel,
Diabolically Doing Dastardly Deeds,
Experimentally Exporting Extremely Expensive Exoskeletons of Extroverted Existentialist Extraterrestrials Expeditiously,
Flatuently Following Five Freewheeling Flowergirls,
Grossly & Gregariously Guzzling Gallons of Grenadine,
Hounding, Harrassing and Heckling Hottie Help at Hilo, Hawaii’s Hooters,
Injuring Illustrious Irish Idolaters in Iceland,
Jovially Jiggling Josie Jones’ Jiggly, Jiggly Jugs,
Kafkaesquely Kissing a Karmic Kungfoo Koala in a Kagool,
Lasciviously Licking Libertine Lithuanian Lasses’ Long, Lovely Legs,
Marginally Meandering Menacingly, Marrying Maryland Mobsters,
Naughtily Nudging Nice Nuns with kNifes,
Offensively Ogling Ostentatious Octogenarian Ocelots,
Passionately Painting Priceless Patented Primadona Portraits Purplish-Pink.
Quickly, Quietly Quelling Queen’s Qataarian Quack
Raucously Rolling in Rain with Rambunctious Romanian Roadies,
Stealthily Sodomizing Seven Sprightly Somalian Salamanders,

and Tantalisingly Tickling The Testicles of Timmy and Tommy’s Tiny Terrapin

107

At the airport the police are waiting to arrest me for:

Attempted Armed Abduction of an Animal,
Bungled Burglery of a Blue Barracuda,
Concealing a Carnivorous Cream-Colored Cockatiel,
Diabolically Doing Dastardly Deeds,
Experimentally Exporting Extremely Expensive Exoskeletons of Extroverted Existentialist Extraterrestrials Expeditiously,
Flatuently Following Five Freewheeling Flowergirls,
Grossly & Gregariously Guzzling Gallons of Grenadine,
Hounding, Harrassing and Heckling Hottie Help at Hilo, Hawaii’s Hooters,
Injuring Illustrious Irish Idolaters in Iceland,
Jovially Jiggling Josie Jones’ Jiggly, Jiggly Jugs,
Kafkaesquely Kissing a Karmic Kungfoo Koala in a Kagool,
Lasciviously Licking Libertine Lithuanian Lasses’ Long, Lovely Legs,
Marginally Meandering Menacingly, Marrying Maryland Mobsters,
Naughtily Nudging Nice Nuns with kNifes,
Offensively Ogling Ostentatious Octogenarian Ocelots,
Passionately Painting Priceless Patented Primadona Portraits Purplish-Pink.
Quickly, Quietly Quelling Queen’s Qataarian Quack
Raucously Rolling in Rain with Rambunctious Romanian Roadies,
Stealthily Sodomizing Seven Sprightly Somalian Salamanders,
Tantalisingly Tickling The Testicles of Timmy and Tommy’s Tiny Terrapin…

and Unrepentently Usurping my Unctuous Uncle’s Unwashed Underwear.

108

At the airport the police are waiting to arrest me for:

Attempted Armed Abduction of an Animal,
Bungled Burglery of a Blue Barracuda,
Concealing a Carnivorous Cream-Colored Cockatiel,
Diabolically Doing Dastardly Deeds,
Experimentally Exporting Extremely Expensive Exoskeletons of Extroverted Existentialist Extraterrestrials Expeditiously,
Flatuently Following Five Freewheeling Flowergirls,
Grossly & Gregariously Guzzling Gallons of Grenadine,
Hounding, Harrassing and Heckling Hottie Help at Hilo, Hawaii’s Hooters,
Injuring Illustrious Irish Idolaters in Iceland,
Jovially Jiggling Josie Jones’ Jiggly, Jiggly Jugs,
Kafkaesquely Kissing a Karmic Kungfoo Koala in a Kagool,
Lasciviously Licking Libertine Lithuanian Lasses’ Long, Lovely Legs,
Marginally Meandering Menacingly, Marrying Maryland Mobsters,
Naughtily Nudging Nice Nuns with kNifes,
Offensively Ogling Ostentatious Octogenarian Ocelots,
Passionately Painting Priceless Patented Primadona Portraits Purplish-Pink.
Quickly, Quietly Quelling Queen’s Qataarian Quack
Raucously Rolling in Rain with Rambunctious Romanian Roadies,
Stealthily Sodomizing Seven Sprightly Somalian Salamanders,
Tantalisingly Tickling The Testicles of Timmy and Tommy’s Tiny Terrapin…
and Unrepentently Usurping my Unctuous Uncle’s Unwashed Underwear.
Verboten Velocipede Ventures,