I will never babysit like that again!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I’m still shaking from the experience. My parents are out of town, so I’ve been staying at their house to take care of the dogs, CoCo and Tigger. I felt guilty about leaving my cat alone almost all day for the past three days, so I brought Patches to my parents house. Then my sister calls, wanting to know if I can watch my niece for the night.

Up until last night, my entire experience in dealing with 10 week old babies consisted of the fact that I was once 10 weeks old myself. It started out ok, Amanda was smiling, drinking her bottle (my sister had told me how to heat it and test it and when to feed her). She liked playing peek-a-boo and the little stuffed bear that played nursery rhymes.

Then it started. The non-stop crying. She didn’t want me to hold her, she didn’t want me to put her in her bouncing chair, she didn’t want to be rocked, she didn’t want her bottle, and she didn’t need a diaper change. She was just crying. Then the dogs started in, barking and chasing Patches, who decided he wanted to start playing by biting the dogs’ ears and running away. Trying to silence the dogs and the baby, I must have looked like an idiot.

"Hey, little girl, what’s the matter, baby, why are you crying on Uncle Ron, huh?
"COCO PUT THE CAT DOWN! STOP IT! BAD DOG!
"Do you want your musical bear, do ya baby girl?
"TIGGER, STOP BARKING AT THE CAT! PATCHES QUIT BITING MY DOGS! GET OUTSIDE YOU FUCKING MUTTS!
"That’s a good Amanda, stop crying for your uncle, please? What’s wrong, sweetie?
"WHO SHIT ON THE FLOOR! COCO, TIGGER GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! PATCHES DON’T BITE MY ANKLE, I DON’T WANNA PLAY WITH YOU!
"Do you want your bottle, Amanda? Nice warm milk for my little girl.
“PATCHES GET OFF MY FEET! TIGGER GET OUTSIDE!”

[sound of a screeching cat as it flies through the air after a swift kick to its backside]

"C’mon Amanda, peek-a-boo! Peek-a-boo!
"COCO! PUT THE CAT DOWN AND GET OUTSIDE! I’LL NAIL THE DAMN DOG-DOOR SHUT! PATCHES QUIT BITING TIGGER! COCO GO OUTSIDE! NO, DAMMIT, PATCHES YOU STAY INSIDE!
"Hi sweet little girl. Smile for Uncle Ron? Can you please smile for me? I’ll buy you a pony if you stop crying.
“DAMMIT! WHO SHIT ON THE FLOOR AGAIN?”

This continued until I picked Amanda up and patted her back, trying to comfort her. Then this sweet, innocent looking little girl let a belch that would have won 4 free pitchers of beer at the bar I go to. Did me proud. Then she spit up on me. Next time I take care of the little poop-and-vomit factory (my loving nick-name for my niece as of last night), I’m telling my sister to write out an instruction manual.

2

And that’s why I will never babysit.

3

You done good, Uncle Bratman. Are you busy tonight? I have the sweetest little 3-year-old and 14-month-old. They wouldn’t be any trouble at all, I promise…

4

When I read the title, I thought it involved the Kennedys…

5

Ouch. You know what W.C. Fields said…Never work with children or animals. Bet he never babysat for the same reason…

6

STOP IT!!! YOU’RE SCARING ME!!!

I have to babysit my 7 mo. old and 2 year old nephews this sunday and was already scared…:eek:

7

My doctor says I shouldn’t be near children under the age of 12 until the cold sweats and uncontrollable shaking stops. He prescribed heavy does of Jack Daniels at least 6 times a day.

8

Putting two dogs and a cat together, ARE YOU NUTS??? And babysitting? If you have a cat like mine, he plays by biting you and pouncing on your head when you lease expect it. And you should know not to put dogs and cats together. At least put them in seperate rooms or put the dogs outside.

ARE YOU NUTS??? :slight_smile:

9

Gee, separate the dogs and cat? What a concept! Usually those dogs get along well with other animals and have no problems with cats (my sister has 2 cats and they’ve never had a problem).

And it seems my cat is exactly like yours. I’ll be sitting around, minding my own business, and he’ll pounce, nip at my arm or foot and run off.

10

tubagirl, a piece of advice. NyQuil is one of the greatest, but most underrated, baby-sitting tools of all time. Buy it, know it, use it. This has been a public service announcement from someone without kids.

11

I didn’t mean to scare you, tubagirl. In fact it wouldn’t have been so bad if I didn’t have to keep ushering the dogs out the dog door and keeping them separated from my cat. The animals weren’t fighting as much as playing rough together, and the noise (barking, growling, etc) wasn’t helping me calm the baby at all.

Next time, just me and the baby - no animals.

12

Not to hijack intentionally or anything, but you clearly do not own a wide variety of animals. I have two cats and one really hyper ugly little dog and they all get along just great. May I once again reiterate my Mantra from previous posts: THERE ARE NO BAD PETS… ONLY BAD OWNERS. With the proper training and introductions, combining species is not a big deal at all.

However, combining multiple pet species with small children… that’s a dog of a different breed – and definitely not advisable!

13

is the NyQuil for them or for her? Hell, maybe it’s for everybody!

14

I have four kids, 2 dogs, 3 cats, and until recently, 3 birds.

Your story does not scare me. It sounds like a relatively calm day. What you really need is 4-8 neighbor kids dropping in, the two year old trying to pick up the baby, a sink full of dirty dishes, perpetually barking dogs, a Jehovah’s Witness at the door, 4 hours of Calculus homework, and an unexpected visit from your ex, who after watching one of the dogs vomit profusely on the carpet, wonders out loud if the house if fit for human habitation.

Then give me a call.

15

Here’s an idea for the baby that won’t stop crying. If she’s not teething, and if she hasn’t yet discovered the joy of putting everything she encounters into her mouth…

put a short length of Scotch tape on her fingers.

I’m serious. She’ll quiet down immediately. Hey, what’s this neat stuff? It sticks to my fingers, but if I pull one finger away with enough force, it unsticks, but then I can stick it again, then unstick it… It’ll fascinate her until she falls asleep.

Again I say, not if she might put it in her mouth, perish the thought, and not if she’s teething, because she will want to put it in her mouth, plus nothing calms a teething baby except something to chew on.

If you really want to be old-school, give her a feather dipped in molasses: same principle. But not everyone has a feather on hand, or molasses, let alone both.

16

Brat, I laughed so hard when I read this I couldn’t breathe. I’ve got two kids, a 3 year old girl and an 11 month old boy. The undisputed Belch Champion is the girl.

When my daughter was roughly the same age as your sweet, innocent niece, she could belch like like no man I’ve ever met, ever. So loud the neighbors come over from two doors down and say “what the hell was that noise? Is everything okay here?” I took her to bowling with me one night when she was about 3 months old, and she belched so loudly that bowlers three lanes away could hear her. They asked me what I fed her and where could they get some, because the beer they were drinking wasn’t doing them any good at all. They were jealous.

But she always did look sooooooo happy after a burp like that!

17

Doesn’t help you now BratMan, but since I so strongly suggested to you to baby sit for your niece, I feel I must step in.

Babies generally cry for a short list of reasons. Unless you know there’s a basic medical condition, it’s usually:

  1. diaper needs changing. Yep, sometimes within seconds of having just changed it. Always check there first.

  2. Hungry.

  3. Teething (this usually can be confirmed by the great amounts of drool on the chin), in this case teething rings, cold clean washcloths, teething biscuits. Fingers not recommended.

  4. gas. For that one, I’ve found the semi-gnetle/frantic hop and and down that you see Nicholas Cage do in Raising Arizona, whilst patting and rubbing gentle circles on their back as you hold them against your (and I can’t emphasize this enough) BURP CLOTH covered shoulder, usually produces results.

After I’ve tried all of the above at least 2 - 3 times each, I go for the basic “distraction” technique. “fly the baby to the mirror” for example. (that’s a variation of the peek a boo concept) others have mentioned other techniques.

Sounds like you handled it well, though…

I’d offer my son to you, but he’s 195 months old now and provides a different kind of learning curve. :slight_smile:

18

I don’t know what you’ve heard bout me, but I’m really not into that sort of thing. Besides, that’s illegal where I live. Sicko. :wink:

19

Hey! Have you been peeking in my windows again?

20

Bratman, I’d much rather babysit the dogs and cat than the kid. You are a braver person that I am…