So I’m sitting on the toilet at work and …
(THIS POST HAS BEEN CENSORED FOR THE SAKE OF GOOD TASTE)
… I just hope my eyebows grow back soon.
Let the records show that while (unknown to me at the time) Mr. Batty was posting this, i was sitting behind him, eating a burrito.
Let the record also state that at the time Mr. Batty was on the toilet I took zyzzyva’s burrito and promptly beat Mr. Batty over the head with it whereupon I shaved off his eyebrows before he woke up.
We just need to switch you over to Zenster’s patented Breakfast Burritos AKA “Cholesterol Bombs”.[list][li] One large flour tortilla[/li]
[li] Two sunnyside up fried eggs[/li]
[li] Three links breakfast sausage[/li]
[li] Three strips crisp bacon[/li]
[li] One slice fried ham[/li]
[li] Two slices processed cheese[/li]
[li] Salt and pepper to taste[/li]
[li] Good dose of green or red Tabasco™ sauce[/li]Finish one of these and you go into a state of hibernation for two hours while you digest.
Gosh, I’d take a burning burrito aftermath instead of the “bad clam chowder” toilet affair I’ve been having all day today. (On my day off at that!) They even tried calling me into work today, before the full effect of the evil clams had brewed to the right consistancy! I still feel like a human perculator! Pass me some of that habenero Tabasco and let’s munch a burrito, instead.
Zenster, that is perhaps the most decadent breakfast food that I have ever heard of. How are you not dead?
You never developed a taste for Menudo, eh?
This reminds me of a story.
A few months ago, after inducting chemical hunger upon ourselves, my friend John and I went to the local QT for burritos. There was a new burrito in town, called “The Bomb”. Being experimental, John bought the new kind, and I bought the kind I always did.
We got home and after heating them up, I started eating mine, while John broke out the new burrito. After eating a bit of it, he had me try it. It was the best frozen burrito I’d ever had, ten times better than the kind I always got.
Disheartened, I went outside and threw the rest of my old burrito into the street.
When I got back inside, still being quite high, I sat down and wrote a tender love song. The only indictation that this was not about a female was the final line of the song, “I thought you were the one for me / now you’re just a burrito in the street.”
The next morning, upon reviewing the song, I realized it was not near as moving as it had been previously. Needless to say, it did not get recorded.
–Tim
Zensters’s breakfast burrito does sound tasty and for variety you could try this one. I’m not sure if it’s a burrito but it uses flour tortillas so here goes. Also most of the ingredients can be prepared ahead of time and assembled in the morning.
hot sausage browned and drained
apples cut in thin wedges, sauted in a little water or juice until slightly tender, may sweeten if desired.
Sharp cheddar cheese
Flour tortillas
Place a tablespoon or so of each ingredient in tortilla and roll tightly. Fry in butter over med-low heat until golden brown. If you start folded side down it won’t fall apart as easy when you turn it. Sprinkle with a little cinnamon.
Enjoy–it’s even better served with warmed caramel apple sauce, the kind you can buy for dipping apple slices in.