I will punch the next person that makes a comment about shoulder riding in the face.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Haha aren’t you funny and clever, making a comment about how dangerous it is for my toddler to be riding on my shoulders, you’re a fucking unique and special snowflake! Thank you for the tip, would you like to demonstrate for me a better way to carry a 30+pound toddler? Because every other method will quickly become tiresome.

Not only that but there is literally no way for him to fall unless I myself fall, any leaning back or forward is instantly felt by me. Even if he would suddenly and instantly fall backwards I have his legs, so worst case scenario is he spends a few seconds upside down on my back.

And to make things even funnier if I let him walk he walks like you’d expect a toddler to, slowly and constantly bumping into people and things because he is watching something behind his back or investigating some trash in a gutter which is course very annoying for other pedestrians on a busy city street. Then you get a lot of comments requesting you carry him. You can’t win!

2

Whoa, wait, people yell at you for that? I do it all the time, it’s the only way to travel (with toddlers). I’d punch 'em in the face too.

3

What is this “shoulder riding in the face” of which you speak?

4

Not yell, more like helpful comments delivered in a fake humor manner “oh you are brave letting him ride way up there” etc. And being honest its all older women making the comments.

5

It’s envy, grude. They all wish they were riding your shoulder.

In the face.

6

You’re somebody’s father?

7

in the face?

8

I was so angry I accidentally grammar!

9

It’s probably better if you swing your toddler at them.

10

Are you sure the “brave” comment isn’t linked to the possibility of getting your neck peed upon? That’s my first thought when I see a kid on Daddy’s shoulders.

11

Hmmm…never had that one before. I imagine my response would be something like:

GLARE

12

Where is this strange place you live Grude? And why do you stay there?

13

I doubt it since others are more explicit that I am putting him in <danger>!

14

As the dad of a 2-year-old, the thought of that doesn’t even begin to faze me. I’ve been peed, vomited, snotted, and shat upon. Urine is easy.

15

Yea seriously pee is nothing, you wipe pee off and go. Poop and vomiting require a clothes change and possibly an extra shower.

16

in the face!!

17

How could anyone try to buzzkill the unrestrained glee of a toddler riding his father’s shoulder?

That’s just wrong.

18

Ever change a baby boy’s diaper?

19

That part’s fine, but does the kid have to keep asking “who run Bartertown?”

20

Its ever so much fun when it escapes the diaper and runs up their back or down their legs, bonus points for when that happens outside the home.