Dear well-intentioned male relatives,
I know that you enjoy the gleeful laugh from my son when you heave him over your shoulder, toss him in the air or flip him upside down. Your actions are, however, a mothers worst nightmare. No words can explain the absolute horror and morbid visions that a mother gets when her kid is flipped head down near asphalt, concrete or desert landscaping. WHY DO YOU DO THIS?! Can’t you tickle the kid a bit or play the “got your nose” trick with him instead? Do you realize how easily his loose-fitting pants could allow him to slip right out of your grasp and headfirst into asphalt. Do you understand that I do not feel that I am overreacting in the least and any comment from you intimating otherwise only serves to make me want to kick you in the head?
This is my childs fragile head, neck and other assorted body parts here. DO NOT THROW HIM AROUND FOR YOUR AMUSEMENT. It’s not funny, it’s not cute, and it could cause ALOT more harm than you seem to realize. Repeat after me. I am NOT superman. I do NOT possess super-human strength. I do NOT need to risk my nephew/grandson’s well being to prove how strong and fun I can be.
I DONT CARE IF HE’S HAVING FUN! He’s a kid and he doesn’t understand the ramifications of falling headfirst onto the concrete.
God, that drives me fucking batshit. STOPPIT STOPPIT STOPPIT!