One of the things on my agenda should I ever have kids, which I won’t, but if I did, would be to teach them something mildly offensive for just these moments…
Me: Well! Little offspring, what do we say to people who don’t mind their own business?
Offspring: Clam up, Mary! hi-five
I’m a chick and that doesn’t stop people from yelling out advice like they are trying to win a prize on a game show or something. Fuckers.
Any bother from strangers can be shut down quickly by teaching your child a simple phrase-“mind your business”. They love to say it while pointing an accusing finger. I love the way kids adlib with growling and wide crazy eyes too.
But now I’m thinking “who run Bartertown?” said with an accusing finger is better. Damn you Vinyl Turnip.
Dammit Faruiza you beat me to post. That’s what I get for watching TV while posting.
This was sent to me by a friend yesterday. Yes, he’s a father and I’m not completely sure that it’s not his hands in the photo.
Another chick chiming in to say it’s not a sexism thing, it’s an annoying busybody thing.
I used to get it often from strangers and even more from people who knew I was a single mum.
Pine Fresh Scent, that’s brilliant! I want to do it to my baby, but she’s a teenager and won’t let me.
People tend to make two completely wrong assumptions regarding adults with kids: that any woman will know what to do with a kid (including being able to breastfeed instantly and with zero troubles, if the kid is biologically hers) and that a man will not have the slightest idea. I’ve seen many a young mother start explaining to her father or grandfather how to hold the baby and get a rebuff along the lines of “I didn’t drop you and I’m pretty sure I remember how to do this!”
Shoulder riding is an absolute joy and definitely the easiest if you have a sturdy, wandering toddler, After all we carry most of our own bulk vertically so it’s bound to be comfortable that way.
I must be lucky as I’ve never been accosted about child-rearing issues (5 and 7 year old now) I must either look confident and capable, or so stressed that no-one wants to add to my burden.
Incidentally my favourite game with my son (5, and now too chunky to be carried on shoulders too often) was to let him cover my eyes with his hands and let him “steer” me by twisting my head in the direction he wants me to go. How we laughed about that…once we regained consciousness.
My daughter (now 4) had been riding on my shoulders since she was old enough to sit upright. She loves it. It’s great for getting through a crowd or going for a walk at adult speed. Heck when she was younder she asked me to carry her around the house that on my shoulders. It was a game and she learned to watch for doorways. I learned that if I put my arm up and couldn’t touch what ever obstruction I saw, she wouldn’t hit it. I can see how you might drop a child but if your careful you won’t. (As an aside how the hell do you drop a kid from 5 feet and break both legs)
I have to say the child back packs are great. We have a cheep one. I use it when we go hiking and to Findlay Market or Oktober Fest her in Cincinnati. She sits just high enough so she can look over my head which gives her a much better view of things than walking in the crowd. Ours has a little shade canopy. The load is well distributed, you have two hands free and I know where she is at all times.
Well I haven’t been 'doping much in the last week, and this was a great thread to come back to lemmetellya! Funny stuff here 
I have never had a stranger offer any kind of criticism or advice. Single dad here since my boy was 1 (he’s now 2.75), so I spend a lot of time in public just me and him. I do everything that everyone else in this thread has been jumped for, I guess people leave me alone because of my sour attitude and intimidating stare.
I’m already in the habit of watching out for door frames, light fixtures, and ceiling fans myself…adding another foot doesn’t matter much!
I really liked out backpack when he was smaller…like too small to wiggle out. He used to love to go hiking and peek around my head as we walked through the woods. Then he got too impatient and wanted to get down and walk, himself :dubious:
Our current favorite from-the-shoulder dismount: I reach up and grab him under his armpits, thumbs down. Then I lean over a little bit and flip him off, so that he ends up on his feet facing away from me.
Sweet! link already forwarded to two new dads I know.
I had twins so we attracted a lot of attention when we went out. In addition to all the people who HAD to tell me they were a twin or had twins or who’s grandmother was a twin, there were so many people who thought it was ok to tell me everything I was doing wrong. Your kids aren’t dressed warmly enough, they’re dressed too warmly, why aren’t they wearing shoes? (um because they can’t walk yet. D’oh). I was never brave enough to put one on my shoulders…too paranoid that I’d drop one.
Now that they’re 14, I’m being told by strangers everything I’m doing wrong with my dog.
Baby backpacks are great. I had one that had a frame stable enough that you could rest the kid upright on the ground for a minute when you took her off. Watch out when you’re shopping though. I remember the really ugly vase my daughter swiped off a shelf behind my back. Wasn’t worth glueing back together but I still had to pay for it!
A boy’s? No. But a man’s…
Awesome mom! You should call and tell her you remember this, and thank her, right now
With four kids, my mom had no chance of making it through 2 decades of child-rearing without something happening. Daily. Nobody ever fell off anyone’s shoulders. Just about everything painful or bad occurred during situations nobody would have blinked twice at.
Shoulder riding is a rite of passage for the kid AND the dad! How else can they see the parade/fireworks over all the tall adults? My kids liked getting the ride and I liked giving 'em. I kinda miss it.
You will have grandkids and they will think you are awesome.
I always loved riding on my dad’s shoulders! The only time I can remember someone saying something to him about it was at the Smithsonian. I don’t remember what was said, but I had to walk the rest of the time, and I had the distinct feeling that I had done something horribly wrong.
Carry Your Baby Like a Man!
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
Well, now we know what corrupted your FoieGras.
Agreed. I live in south Florida, home to lots of old people. They like to talk to my kids and me. Some are friendly and sweet; others are nosy, annoying and clueless.
Last weekend, my husband and I took our two boys to a local attraction with enclosures that people can walk through, where birds fly around freely. The kids went into one enclosure and, not immediately seeing any birds, ran to the exit, about 20 feet away. I called them back to the entry to show them some birds hiding in a tree. An old lady came in the exit and started to scold the boys for going through the exhibit too quickly. I politely told her we’d just come in through the entrance and that we were looking at some birds in a tree.
After a minute or two, my three year old started to wander away. He got about 10 feet from me and the old lady started to tell him that he should go back to me, that he was too far from me. The fuck? There were only five of us in the enclosure, so I wasn’t going to lose him in a crowd. We’ve been there many times, so I know the layout of the place. I know my kid, so I know he’s not going to hurt himself, or damage any of the plants or birds, or run farther away than the exit. And yet a stranger feels compelled to tell my kid what to do. Who is TEN BLOODY FEET AWAY.
Eh, sorry for the hijack. This sort of shit drives me nuts.
I heard of side saddle…how do you…
If this is another thread about “brit milah” im out.
