I wish our species would stop with the bullshit

[HazelNutCoffee]

I wish people would take the time to type out “because.”

[Squink]

@Fuji

Just what is it that makes this a “shithole universe”? You got any ideas for a better one? This one has supernovae, black holes, Bach fugues, and volcanoes.

To say nothing of Home Grown Tomatoes, and Titties!

[Contrapuntal]

@xkcd

Unfortunately, I probably won’t be able to cop out and start living a mindless life of bullshit like the rest of you ‘adults’ did. Maybe I’m too smart, or maybe I just hate bullshit more than you do. Either way, a sheep-like life is not one I can have, unlike you guys.

What are you bleating around here for, then? Surely you have better things to do than hang out with a bunch of mindless sheep.

[Lust4Life]

@xkcd

The sooner our species dies, the sooner good people like me will never again suffer terribly in an uncaring unfair shithole universe.

And no, for those of you who probably think i suffer daily, that’s not true, and I don’t want you to feel bad for me as if it were. I suffered in the past (got abused in school), and it was terrible, but now I suffer not economically or physically but metaphysically, b/c I became an atheist over a year ago and now I know that our species is a tragic joke headed nowhere.

Fuck.

So apart from that how was your day?
Meet any hot chicks?
I believe they’re doing a special on cheese burgers at Burger Universe,could be worth a look.

Oh by the way you’ll be glad to know that I dont feel bad for you.

As an afterthought, being as your life is one of empty suffering why not enlist ?,you’ve nothing to lose ,you could be useful and having a few rounds crack past your head may take your mind off of your dreadful existance for a few moments before some Iraqi" roadside "slots you.

Go on !you know you want to.

[FaerieBeth]

@Contrapuntal

What are you bleating around here for, then? Surely you have better things to do than hang out with a bunch of mindless sheep.

School’s due to start soon, and he’s facing another year of getting shoved into his locker. Let the poor boy whine.

[Lust4Life]

@xkcd

Every day millions of good people suffer horribly. That’s the way it’s been since the beginning of our species, b/c we live in an unconscious uncaring death trap of a universe that doesn’t give a shit if you’re ‘good’ or ‘bad’, and that sucks. I want to live in a conscious loving universe that protects the ‘good’ and punishes the ‘bad’, and wherein we are not just animals headed towards eternal death.

I hate this universe, and I hope the tragedy of our species dies soon.

Also the girl he fancies wont go out with him.

[Fear_Itself]

@WhyNot

Either way, in 10 years, you won’t be this miserable.

Or, he has 60-70 years of brutal, endless depression before he shuffles off this mortal coil.

[Justin_Bailey]

@xkcd

Unfortunately, I probably won’t be able to cop out and start living a mindless life of bullshit like the rest of you ‘adults’ did. Maybe I’m too smart, or maybe I just hate bullshit more than you do. Either way, a sheep-like life is not one I can have, unlike you guys.

So you are 13? Well, glad we got that cleared up.

Just how many black notebooks full of “the tragedy and pain that is my everyday existence” do you have? 4? 6? 18? 42?

Has masturbation long it’s fun? Or are you just fucking lazy? (sorry, that’s probably a song from before you were born, I’ll rephrase).

Are you an American idiot? Are you subliminally mindfucked?

Is it hard to live in a world knowing they’ll be no more new Harry Potter books?

Inquiring minds want to know.

[Acorns.but_not_Bacon]

Sounds like you’ve come to the realisation that no matter what you do or say or how you act you’re going to die anyway and what death will be like is totally out of your control, it’s true, so you might as well try to get the most out of life.

[phouka]

Oh, honestly, dude. The attitude that everything is a bleak, meaningless torture and we’re all better off in the arms of non-existence is just as much bullshit as saying God has a plan for everyone, and it’s all going to be all right. The rest of us have much better stuff to do than wallow in your masturbatory self-pity.

Christ, infant, go outside and sit in the sunlight. Rent a puppy for a few hours. Play a board game with a kid. Get laid. Eat some serious Italian food. Stomp some dandelions. Listen to Jupiter by Holst. Take a nap in a hammock. But get over yourself.

You haven’t discovered some new concept. You aren’t bravely informing the delusional masses. You’re wanking off to a nihilistic fantasy you’ve mistaken for reality. Yeah, the world has some shitty spots. Try making them a little better instead of building your own shit mansion, okay?

[Lust4Life]

@BoBettie

Could you wait until after Tuesday? I have a fishing trip planned.

You are just SO selfish sometimes Bo!
Allright guys stop everything ,the end of the universe is on hold for the time being cos Bo’s going fishing.

Try and find yourselves a cup of tea and a sandwich somewhere in the meantime.

[WhyNot]

@xkcd

I appreciate your kindness, but I resent how people always claim that bitterness/discontentment like mine is just a ‘youthful phase’.

Tell that to Schopenhauer, Zapffe, or Thomas ligotti (that last one’s still alive).

Dude, Zapffe was WAY funnier than you; he saw the absurdity and humor in his own and all of our suffering. Schopenhauer? What can I say, he was German, poor lad. I’m not familiar with Ligotti.

WAIT, WAIT, I understand now! Your entire presence on this board is really one extended answer to my Emo, Hipster, Indie, Goth - give me a primer. thread, right? I’ve finally identified Emo in its natural habitat!

[Lust4Life]

@This is just...

Sounds like you’ve come to the realisation that no matter what you do or say or how you act you’re going to die anyway and what death will be like is totally out of your control, it’s true, so you might as well try to get the most out of life.

Being serious for a moment that is spooky,its like you 've seen into my mind.
Are you a Brit ?do I know you?

[MILTBore]

If you think this is a shithole universe, you haven’t been to bunny universe.

[TokyoBayer]

@This is just...

Sounds like you’ve come to the realisation that no matter what you do or say or how you act you’re going to die anyway and what death will be like is totally out of your control, it’s true, so you might as well try to get the most out of life.

Which is why I’ve had not just one more beer but two more. Dude, the secret is (1) don’t do anything you don’t was published on the net and (2) always, always, always remember . . . fuck. I forgot what I was supposed to remember.

[Ferret_Herder]

@xkcd

100 years later, when everyone has died of old age, the final remaining people on earth would then kill as much life on earth as possible in order to prevent any other species from one day evolving the curse of consciousness.

I care a ridiculous amount about the suffering of the ‘good’, you see, and would like to see the above happen b/c of how much I care.

Eh, no, you don’t care about the "suffering of the ‘good’ " if you’re advocating this, else - among other reasons - you wouldn’t advocate the active ‘genocide’ of other species. What right do you possess that allows you to demand that they suffer and die at your command?

You care solely about your own suffering. The universe has hurt you and therefore it must be evil. But hey, at least you’re not a “sheep,” right?

(Just a hint: The universe isn’t evil, or good. It simply is.)

[ParentalAdvisory]

@xkcd

Tell that to Schopenhauer, Zapffe, or Thomas ligotti (that last one’s still alive).

Christopher Hitchens is still alive.

[Boyo_Jim]

Have you scheduled your vasectomy or tubal ligation yet?

[Contrapuntal]

@Boyo Jim

Have you scheduled your vasectomy or tubal ligation yet?

You think the OP is in serious danger of getting laid?

[tomndebb]

@I'm Ron Burgundy?

I believe the CN tower’s in Canada.

Hah! You believe there is a Canada! Next, you will be claiming that there is a North Dakota.
It is all you people who believe in fairy tales that are ruining xkcd’s life.